My father cut off my hand. This is what it taught me about being a team player…

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funnylikeuplifting
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Next they’ll have a quote “I kissed my sister….”

likefunny

I debated adding that one. She kissed HIM though. Twice. And that was only what we saw on camera.

funny

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Last night I slept over my boyfriend’s apt. We are sexually active together but this time he woke up at 4/5am and started fingering me and eating me out. I was somewhat awake but I don’t know how to feel about this. Thoughts?

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Feeling a deep void in close human connection after letting go a relationship that was lacking a future (I was interested in something more, he was unsure). Can’t stop thinking of reaching out and need strength to just stay with the loneliness and have hope for the better times. Would appreciate support. It’s been 2 weeks but I feel bouts of extreme sadness and desire to have someone to share my life and days with.

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Misled on Maternity Leave Policy. I found out I only get 4 weeks pay for maternity leave (STD +“sick days”). I will take 12 weeks but wont get paid for 8 weeks. I work for a US, west coast based company in the tech/VC industry. Their website claims to offer “paid parental leave and other progressive benefits for parents”. I didn’t find out until after I was hired their pay was only 8 weeks but since I have been at the company less than 12 months, I don’t qualify for their policy. Is this unfair?

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Has anyone ever done aggression training for their dog? Met with a trainer who basically wants us to either keep our dog crated or on a leash at all times and said no pets or play time for now. Our dog has been acting out ever since we brought home our newborn and also bit our groomer. Trainer has me terrified that the dog will hurt the baby but my heart is breaking that I can’t give any “love” to my dog right now. Any similar experiences or thoughts?

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Is it okay to disappear from friends & family to work on career change goals (several months)? I want to focus and not get distracted by friends & family needs to see me or attend certain things as it takes up a lot of time. If I focus for a short time, I can quickly achieve my goals to switch. I can hangout with them after all of that. What do you think?? Any feedback will be appreciated.

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anyone else feels stuck at current job, but not able to apply due to upcoming paid maternity leave benefits that you don't want to miss out on? currently still in first trimester !

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Any recommendations for books for desi parents ? Politics , economics, world order , self help

What do you do about your house plants if both you and your SO are out of the house for an extended period? I could move some of the smaller ones to friends, but there are planters that are attached to balcony and patio. Any ideas 🐠?

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Just a question for the ladies since I'm dealing with something like this right now.
Would you want to live with the groom's parents, just after marriage.?
Why/why not

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40 weeks pregnant and terrified to be induced. Any tips on how to manage the stress and pain? I’m getting an epidural but still very nervous.

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New tiny baby emerging 🥰🌱

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likeupliftinghelpful

Sometimes I feel like I am a drone that just works all the time and I have no friends.

likefunny

Oliver Wyman what is your parental leave policy, specifically paternal leave?I ’m going through this benefits handbook that was shared along my offer and I can’t find anything about that.

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I want to open a Roth IRA for my mother (55). She makes about $9k from an international job and doesn’t file a U.S. tax return. How does the government check if I find it with the maximum of $7k?

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

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Does anyone ever question the possibility of going to law school?

I’m a 23yo female legal assistant working/living in Canada. I am completing my BA in hopes of continuing with law school after. But, I just turned 23 and I’m anxious about my love life and starting a family. I haven’t had a boyfriend since 2019 and I’ve poured my heart and soul into my education & career.

I’ve always wanted to go to law school since age 14. But I also want a husband/kids. I don’t feel like I can have both.

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Breakup etiquette- we broke up and I was supposed to go to his relatives’s wedding in a couple of weeks. I know the couple, not super well, but have hung out and texted individually as well. Should I let them know I won’t be attending and wish them well or don’t reach out to them?

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Okay, thank the stars this “estimated 9.2lb baby” was only 8lbs even. 😅

likefunnyuplifting

Offtopic: Which is the best health insurance (company) to buy for parents? Please suggest as per prior firsthand experience in claims, settlement, premium etc.

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Anyone know of Chicago companies with solid in-house agencies? I’m a copywriter/content strategist with 6+ YOE, mostly in financial services.

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Feeling a deep void in close human connection after letting go a relationship that was lacking a future (I was interested in something more, he was unsure). Can’t stop thinking of reaching out and need strength to just stay with the loneliness and have hope for the better times. Would appreciate support. It’s been 2 weeks but I feel bouts of extreme sadness and desire to have someone to share my life and days with.

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Have McK phone case coming up, has anyone had feedback on why you haven’t passed? Looking to avoid missteps.

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Hi,
Accolite Digital is actively hiring for the following roles: 
Java – Across Levels
DotNet – Across Levels
React Native- 4-10 years
Architect – Candidates working as Java or DevOps or Big Data or Solution architect with more than 10yrs of Experience and others as well.

Please message me directly if you are interested or apply from the following referral link as per your skill set:https://social.eduthrill.com/e/z6GJmiItYrb?referralCode=FQS2FRKL

I had my Assessor interview this past week and received a pre-screening questionnaire that asked about dual citizenship status. Because I don't even have a passport for the country I am a dual citizen for, I didn't even think about the possibile complications this could lead to with my application. I applied through a career fair at school and didn't see the citizenship requirements, so I guess that's on me.

Born in the US and lived here all my life. Am I screwed regardless?

Experience with keeping the account once your client gets acquired? Does the account get moved to the bigger company’s agency?

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Firm pushes mandatory virtual trainings...every partner ever schedules meetings and conference calls at the same time.

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Any remote openings for Data Science domain?

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Got a job offer with a lower base salary but a guaranteed bonus structure that puts me ahead of my current pay at the end of each year. Has anyone moved to a position with a compensation structure like this? Was it hard to adjust when it came to your monthly finances?

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What’s the difference between a 750, 760 and 770. I just took for first time and got 750. I’m confident I can bump it up. Is it worth retaking or is there no measurable advantages of 10 extra pts

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PwC Bangalore hasn’t provided the hike o promotion letter yet. Is there a way to see the performance bonus and the hike??

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Hi, I have 6 years of experience as a developer and have offers from, Harman Connected Services(WebAPI Developer - 20 LPA), Bank of America(Senior Developer II - 20 LPA), Siemens(Desktop developer-20LPA), NSR Information System(Senior Software Engineer -20LPA), Tech M, Cognizant, Kellton Tech, FIS Global, Mind tree. Packages are in the range 20+. Which company should I join for good projects and good wlb?

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Hi all! I just moved to Austin and know absolutely no one. If you’re in your mid to late twenties and are interested in adding a queer girl to your friend group, let me buy you a drink! Shameless, I know, but you gotta do what you gotta do. My interests include Michigan football, bar hopping, water sports, and real estate 🙂

likefunny

So, I’m considering buying a 987 GT4 as a Friday/weekend car.
Any owners out here wanting to share opinions? Things to be mindful of?
I feel like stick is the right option, despite the gearing ratio. Agree?
How is the seating position for a 5”11, 180 pound in the bucket seats?
Yes, I will be testing it the car, but just trying to gather preliminary feedback.

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I love my job and the people I work with, but lately I've been feeling like everyone else has more flexibility in their schedules than I do. How do you find time for yourself when there's so many meetings?

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A production I worked on is $250k in the hole and owes a bunch of crew members money including myself. Looks like they just missed a big deadline to keep from going belly up. What should we do?

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Best shops for puppets state side? Loving blinkink

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Who are your favorite non-Union VO talent agents that you reach out to for casting submissions?

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Additional Posts in LinkedIn Cringe

Not every person in the comments saying how great of a parent they are

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This is the very definition of privilege

Able to post something so absurdly wrong (Google PMs in the comments explaining that she transferred ladders when she switched jobs internally, hence pay change)

Able to become a product manager at Google and STILL not comprehend how misleading the race aggregation stat is “Black women make 58 cents to every $1 a white man makes!” not taking into account job choice and individual opportunity.

..all while the comments are filled with blind support

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likefunny

LinkedIn is going full boomer-Facebook complete with pictures of a computer screen rather than a screenshot or “share” 😐 comments were fun too.

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funnylikeupliftingsmart

There really is such a direct correlation between cringey title and cringey posts.

Before LinkedIn...to me, the king of professional cringey was Shingy. Do you guys remember him? He was aol's overpaid "digital prophet" and got paid to visit companies at lunchtime and babble the same kind of nonsense we now call "LinkedIn cringe".

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Might be reading a bit too deep into things, my guy

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funnylike

No BS, no fluff, straight to the point. As anti-cringe as it gets 😂😂😂

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This is how I feel!!!

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I don’t think this was hyperbolic. but I’m having a hard time believing it’s not satire 🥲. Is this cringey??

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funny

The LinkedIn headers have gone too far now

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funnylike

I have been waiting/looking for this exact bowl. It’s graduation season. Get ready for the “I’m proud to announce” LinkedIn posts that none of us give a piss about. May we post and roast mercilessly.

likefunny

This one is going to make some of y’all mad, but it’s so annoyingly unnecessary. The most irritating part is “is it a shirt day or a skirt day”…. Like women don’t wear shirts with skirts and men don’t wear shirts with pants. Shirts and skirts are not mutually exclusive. I’ll just leave this here.

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likesmart

No, you’re not. Better yourself.

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funnylike

It's the "loves this" for me

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likefunny

Nice try Accenture.

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funnylike

Thought I was on LinkedIn when I saw this one

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funnylike

How are people this comfortable with public bragging? I will always be in awe 🫢 (1/2)

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funnylike

Eugene Mirman is very funny.

(15) Eugene Mirman | LinkedIn

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likefunny

Uhhhh 🤔🤔🤔🤔 this guy's tone is just off putting
Cont'd in the comments.

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funnylike

Dear fishes,

If you are hungry, eat.

Be Brave!

Sincerely,
The greatest vice president of this bowl.

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funnylike

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