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Not touching that one.
You two need to figure that out.
She anchored the hell out of you
2 kids catholic school, 1 public school, 1 kid Jewish school as a wildcard
How about 1 kid, but he/she also gets to go to college?
You think she's going to compromise - that's so cute!
Prioritizing a catholic school over a good school sounds like poor prioritization.
^ "Also the world is not overpopulated".. Are you an idiot EY2?!?
Having 4 kids when the world is seriously overpopulated sounds like poor prioritization.
How long together and how old?
If you buy a home where schools are bad but taxes are low, there could be economic merit in this approach.
Regardless I hope she has a very good and high paying job to support this want.
I also hope you are catholic otherwise this is going to be a chronic pain point.
M2 Africa and Asia Minor is overpopulated where the birth rate is like 12 per woman. The US has a shrinking natural born population and is certainly not overpopulated
2.5 kids
First get married, then have kids and don't argue about the kids you don't have yet. Best advice I was given. You can have wants that reality doesn't allow you to have so cross all those bridges when you come to them. Also what you want and agree to prior to "that" time changes often and inconsistently based on your situation then and that's coming from an interfaith marriage with one being catholic. Boy do people change their minds lol
Compromise is cool. Do not finalize decisions before marriage because you may get married and say 1 kid is expensive we are done. Lmbo.
Also the world is not over populated. Guess this person has not driving around America and seen all the rural land available for living.
WHAT if you live in an area where the private school that is best is not Catholic.
Just compromise but leave options open and also try to reason with her before marriage. Copromise does not mean give in but find a common ground.
Been married 8 years agreed to kids and after 5 years we had no kids and house was so peaceful. 2 kids later I love them but I would have been good without them. See how marriage is first.
Enjoy
I'd suggest you discuss her and your faith, my friend. She sounds like she may be a sincere catholic, but then again maybe not ... after all, children are blessings bestowed upon a couple from God. You don't second guess God's will this way. Putting religion aside, my advice to you is marry this woman you love, have as many children as you can have, don't worry about affording them (you'll be fine, you're a fish), you will work it out as you go -- it's called taking joy in life.
You're not even married yet, all of this is hypothetical. What if you have trouble conceiving? What if she has complications after the first kid? And on everything else, my experience with marriage has been: the more time you spend with each other, the more alike you become. This naturally helps you move towards a common middle ground or reach compromise. Maybe she'll come around to your views or maybe you'll come around to hers, or maybe both of you will agree on an entirely different arrangement. Either way, as D1 said, cross that bridge when you get there. It is waaay too early to be making "final" decisions on your kids schooling when you aren't married or pregnant or have a kid yet.
Ultimately, your children will choose whether or not to have a religion and which one. You can impose it on them only so long!
I would reconsider what value 4 children will bring to your lives instead of just going with it. Do you think the extra 2 or 3 will make you that much more happier? At the expense of 1) the strain on the world and 2) the additional strain on your family while raising them - would the additional happiness you'll receive outweigh them? Like what others have said, If you really think so after having the first or second one, then go for it.
As for the catholic school, please, consider providing your future children as broad of an experience as possible. Sending them all to catholic school might narrow their understanding of the world as they will study with the bias of an antiquated abrahamic religion that seldom translates to today's reality. They will be missing out big time - exposure to real world problems, exposure to different cultures, exposure to real world empathy.
That bias is significant - instead of learning "all people should be treated equally", they will learn "we are god's chosen people". Instead of learning "respect one another", they will learn "we must do our duty to save everyone." What about the bias they can inject into history lessons and some of the controversial science topics? Sex-ed? American bias is a problem already, what would happen if we add another on top?
I firmly believe the cheesy "knowledge is power" phrase - limiting the knowledge the kids would receive by sticking them in catholic school will put them at a severe disadvantage when it comes to value to society.
I myself would argue that it is the to point of breeding ignorance - but I won't expand on that and push that on you.
Just a thought.
The world can do without 4 more kids, especially the religiously inclined foolish ones. Your gf is being pretty selfish IMO
You're right EY1. You can (should!) cultivate virtues in your children, educate them in religious beliefs (importantly, they will encounter very poorly informed criticisms of faith as they grow up and it's important that they have a solid grounding in religious thought to sort it through for themselves), and create opportunities for them to experience faith. After that, it's up to them.
Go get a vasectomy after your after your first kid.