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I’ll keep it simple, try and find a way to not be bothered by it. What other people do with their time and energy should not affect you at all. You’re allowing it to for some reason and you need to find a way to move past it. Their bond seems strong and that’s a good thing.
Consider buying a new place that has an office for her or ask her to talk in the bedroom while your working. Has to be a work around.
I just came from a 5hr call with my sister and read this.. Also waiting for my other sister to wake up in her time zone to speak with her for a couple more hours. I multitask while on the calls and use a headphone. Fortunately my partner works upstairs and hardly hears me. Initially he would be upset that I would be engaged in a call when he came downstairs to have coffee with me, but now we have scheduled coffee times where I take a break and focus on him. I made it clear to him that I would never compromise my relationship with my sisters. Especially after previously being in an abusive relationship that started with me being isolated from my friends and family. I guess we are on the same page now and he is sucking it up.
Would you be on the phone 5 hours if you were in the office?
Just a warning: if you ever ask her to choose between you and her sister, you might not like the outcome. Siblings that are this close is a rare gift, and you may break her if she is asked to stop that link. She might start to think she doesn't have the right spouse.
Hey OP, sorry about your situation. Could you schedule dates and outdoors events for you and your wife so she can have something else to do other than talk to her sister? Start watching a Netflix series together or something. Couples massage. I'm sure you can think of something...
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Sounds annoying imo.
In my house, this is my retiree mother... talking LOUDLY to her retiree sister, and other sister, and friend, and church friend and my little sister. Talking, talking, and more talking--mostly about nothing! Thankfully, she's upstairs 90% of the time and I work downstairs.
Back when our company moved to an open office model, they installed white noise machines just to help tune out that sort of thing. If you can't convince your wife to use headphones and talk more quietly on her marathon conversations, sounds like you'll need to try for a white noise machine or two!
As an introvert, I sympathize completely! For this reason, I always date introverted guys. Mindless chatter is exhausting. 😑
Separate work spaces or put on some headphones.
I also called my sister every single day when I was working data entry from home.
My 2nd EX-husband hated it and fought with me all of the time about it because his computer/video games were in the same room as my work set up. Eventually I went back into the office but in reality he didn’t like it when I then came home and talked to my sister for two hours at night either.
Then in therapy I learned that isolating you from family is just part of the cycle of abuse and that’s why he’s now an ex husband and I still talk to my sister every day.
It sounds like she’s codependent with her sister. I don’t think what she’s doing is healthy. Your supposed to try to live in the present moment, not just talk to someone who’s hundreds of miles away all day. I would be annoyed too. Tell her to cut it out
Shoot I wish my wife talks to her family this much and leave me alone 🤣
Rising Star
Right? Like he’s winning imo
That’s odd. I don’t talk to my parents and siblings that much in a month.
I used to deal with this as well. My situation is a bit different as my wife's family is on the other side of the world. But I agree you shouldn't need to talk to someone that much. You should have your own life, hobbies, etc. I think part of the reason is she is/was more on the needy side socially where as I am very independent.. Lol I don't know how we got married--we're so different! It was annoying for me mostly because she was always doing video chats so I couldn't just walk through the house wearing or not wearing whatever I wanted. But over time (kids, as we grew closer, as I communicated how I felt) she talked less and less to them. She is still very tight with and stays in touch with her family (all of them: sisters, mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) but she spends maybe 30 min a day now and prioritizes our family before before her family now...Realizing I didn't answer your question lol.
My advice: bring it up sooner than later. The longer you wait to share the more it will bottle up. But hell, it being 6 years in it might be hard to say it without some emotion behind it. I think as long as you communicate that you are coming from a place of "I love you and your family but why this or that" you should be good...in the long run lol She might get defensive or upset on your first go at it but as long as you stay calm and consistent once she has time to cool off and reflect she will see your side and be more mindful.
Secretly bribe the sister to ignore wife’s calls during your work hours. 💲💲💲
My partner and I both talk to our families every week and our mothers every single day! There is nothing more valuable because you never know what the next day brings. You should be so lucky she has a strong bond with family as not everyone does. I call my mom personally for everything as an adult, she’s my best friend.
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I think
1) great to have such tight family bonds and communication
2) not great to be noisy /rude to others in the household by talking all day on FaceTime and making the home and wfh space uncomfortable/noisy/disruptive for your partner
Just seems a tad excessive, all this talking to family, every day. Do you report every single thing you do and every thought you have to them? Gossip about others? How is it a good use of anyone’s time? Aren’t there better ways of bonding than just talking?
I would find these traits very off-putting, it’s as if such people never grew up. Have good long conversations once in a while, have great relationships, but talk every day? Waste of mental bandwidth and online/cellular bandwidth. Just my take.
Anyways, what did people do before talking was so easy and cheap?
Chief
Nope, so you talked to people in a closer proximity.
Fishbowl is becoming a reddit page now no kidding
This isn't uncommon 😁 I would talk to your wife and let her know how it's affecting you. But don't ask her to stop talking to her. Maybe ask her to talk outside or just be more quiet or at least aware of the distraction for you. And then get a bigger house so you don't have to hear her 😁
Haha. Bigger things and more money solves all problems, right?
Lol how is she getting enough work done and taking care of herself, children, and the home
Hoping this is satire
Her sister is single? She could be the problem :)
Work from the office? Clearly this wasn't a problem before WFH. Just saying.
Making sure you find the right environment to work in is up to you.
Re your second grievance... man I wish I was that close to some people in my life. She's lucky - let her cherish that.
Why not just go to the strip club with the guys while she’s on the phone with her sister? That way you both get what you want.
If the talking is disrupting your work, then that is something you should be direct and discuss.
If the talking is annoying because you feel like your wife talks more to her sister than you, that is a different conversation, and may I suggest not using the word "annoying'.
I'm glad that when my wife and I were dating, I discovered we both had the same interest in talking/being with family. Absolutely zero.