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You can date multiple people simultaneously (say a few months) but you can't really be in multiple relationships simultaneously. Any meaningful relationship will start to drain your emotional bandwidth, and as you get closer, the other person will demand more and more of your time. Pretty soon it will be obvious who really speaks to you and who doesn't, as well as who reciprocates your level of effort. Obviously don't sleep with the people you're dating, both because it's Biblically unsound and because sex will confuse your emotions and distort your judgment.
Dating as we do it today isn't in the Biblical pattern. The process was much more rapid with less shopping around. Good examples are Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel. The youngsters meet, mutual attraction and compatibility (family/social/religious) is established, consent to get married, and the families facilitate with an eye to their best interests. But since we deal with a different environment today, we have to navigate the greater ambiguity out there while still exhibiting conduct worthy of our faith.
I guess you also need to determine, what’s your purpose in dating? As a Christian, everything we do needs to point back Christ and His example, and that includes dating/courtship.
If your purpose in dating is for marriage, then you would treat that partner as a potential spouse, and you would also carry yourself as a potential spouse for them, meaning you’re living and acting in a holy manner.
The Bible also says to guard your heart, and we know that in dating, forming emotional attachments to people will leave us open and vulnerable, and potentially cloud our judgment from making wise and honorable decisions.
I wanted to thank everyone for their perspectives on this. Whether I agree or disagree with everyone doesn’t matter. What matters is that all of you were caring enough to take time and respond. I wholeheartedly appreciate you all. To share some additional perspective on my end in terms of judgement. I’m not sinless or perfect I’ve made plenty of mistakes in life. I do my best to try to correct them but again I am not perfect. I had a near death experience a couple years back and the staff told me I was screaming “no no i want to stay take me back” I remember waking up feeling really happy and at peace and yet super disappointed I was was back here. With that said I am not a perfect person but wherever I was (as crazy I sound) I know I was happy. Wishing you all the best and many blessings ❤️
thank you for having the courage to ask the question! many of us are (silently) benefiting from the dialogue. ⭐️
Bonk
I don't have a verse but I think picture of marriage is a basic pattern for marriage. One man one wife. Also in Genesis, God made eve out of Adam's rib it was a 1 for 1 match. Adam didn't choose from a bunch of Eve's, God prepared her for him. In the same way I believe God prepares the right spouse for us. So your Mr. Right is out there.
On another note, have you considered why your previous relationships didn't work, did you give the lord a chance to speak to you regarding them? If not, I would do that first and also recommend praying with another person you trust as a spiritual companion and/or an older brother or sister in the congregation. Hopefully that helps, praying for you OP 🙏🏼
Than my SO. After the relationship ends I’m usually the one that takes more time to heal. I want to have a family one day but I’m starting to think. Society standards would show that if anyone in a monogamous relationship would date outside of the relationship it would be considered wrong and cheating. However, what is and isn’t socially acceptable doesn’t always match what’s in the Bible. So that got me thinking as I’m getting older and time for me is ticking would it be wrong based on the Bible for me to be in multiple relationships until one leads to marriage? I know this sounds crazy and I’m not suggesting that once I marry I continue to see other people but just started thinking about this
This^^
So my thought process is more of if you look at it from the societal side obviously this is wrong. However society has changed since the Bible. What seemed to be wrong or right back then has changed. Example a lot of the stories speak of wives being “acquired” in a sense trading a daughter for land etc. back then that was ok as long as you followed the rules once you’re married. In today’s world that would be something not everyone would appreciate. That type of premarital relationship was ok back then and you weren’t not glorifying God or anything. Now I agree with everyone’s comments thus far I’m just trying to have a more of an open philosophical conversation. I hope no one takes this as me attempting to push my views onto them. 🙂
Thank you for your insight S1 😊❤️🙏 I honestly love your thoughtful and kind response so much I wish I knew how to highlight it on this thing. Lol
I suggest you look into the Theology of the Body.
I love pope John Paul II I’ll take a look. Im not actually sexually active but I’m sure there’s insight there I use. Thank you!
Better yet, read a book called Love and Responsibility.
Additionally - what’s your purpose in being in a relationship? Ideally you would set ground rules with the person on what you’re comfortable with and not comfortable with, and most people would agree that seeing others outside the relationship in a romantic manner is hurtful and shows you’re not committed. If you can’t honor a potential spouse in a relationship, you’re not setting a good pattern of commitment come time for marriage.
Okay, that’s helpful to know, I’d argue that’s a better purpose for dating itself. A lot of times we equate dating and relationships but they should be seen as separate things.
We date to identify who’s the right spouse who has our shared values and similar interests, and as Christians, someone we can build a Christian home with.
For relationships, we’ve identified that person and are now choosing to commit and begin to show a pattern of commitment, and a pattern of holy living that we will carry on in marriage.
A follow up question - you mentioned you are potentially interested in having multiple relationships at the same time. How would you feel if someone you’re in a relationship also was making that action? Would that person seem like the right spouse for you? Or would you be looking for someone who is showing consistency and showing commitment to you and you alone?
I understand dating is hard, and much much harder for believers, but we’re building towards something that won’t make and will never sense to the rest of the world.
I think dating around if you're not in an exclusive relationship is fine. However the answers on what to do when you have a bf/gf is simple. Being honest and honoring your commitments is biblical, showing someone respect and loving them is biblical, having discipline and not being lustful, or covetous is biblical. All to say cheating in a committed relationship is not just socially unacceptable but unbiblical as it goes against the core principles of what our faith teaches and represents