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Chief
I’m sorry for your negative experience and that the word triggers you, but I do believe we should be able to talk about it openly, as it indeed is very common and it shouldn’t be so stigmatized.
Until a miscarriage happens to you or a loved one, it's very easy to think people are unreasonably being negative, but they're not. Sadly, miscarriages are common, and I don't think they mean any harm in being cautious.
When I broke my pregnancy news to my mom, I was sooo annoyed when she asked, "Is it too soon to congratulate you?" Less than 2 weeks later, I had a miscarriage.
I agree with C1 but also understand where OP may be coming from as far as most people who share about it have a successful pregnancy (or at least that’s been my experience). So it’s hard hearing that when you don’t have a successful pregnancy/healthy child born yet.
Work with a therapist then. Others who share are also going through loss and your anger is misdirected.
I like an opportunity to talk about my infertility struggles and miscarriage, it makes me feel less alone. And I'd like to think that by starting the conversation, it allows others to be open to discuss it as well. It doesn't all need to be treated like a bad secret to keep.
I get it, you want a celebratory reaction to your news. I don't think these women want to steal your joy, they're just sharing the experience they went through. Unfortunately, because it is so common it sounds like everyone is responding with a trauma story as opposed to sharing what is an unfortunately common experience. I try not to share my story with new moms unless specifically asked because they don't need the stress (and the hope is they won't need the specific community of moms and aspiring moms who have suffered losses).
It doesn't mean women don't have absolutely positive first pregnancies, it just means there's more than one "normal." You can respond with "I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm trying to remain positive and stories like that are messing with my head." They'll understand you're not ready or in a place to hear those stories.
As far as being triggered by that, talking to a therapist during your pregnancy may be helpful. It's an emotional time and there will likely be a lot happening that will stress you out emotionally and physically.
That said, congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you all the best vibes through this journey! 🙏🏾
I’ve had 3 miscarriages and 1 ectopic and, being a nerd, did a ton of research on these topics. It’s actually a myth that all miscarriages are super common. Chemical pregnancies (miscarriages before week 5) happen in 1 of 4 pregnancies on average, but the chance to miscarry after week 5 drops significantly with every week. So, no, miscarriages are actually not common, and especially recurrent pregnancy loss.