After months of depression and suicidal thoughts, I had a big realization that pulled me out of it.. that I’m alone in the world and I can’t rely on anyone else but myself. As a chronic people pleaser, this was liberating.

likeuplifting
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Do you have a therapist? If not please find one. It’s ok and it’s normal to be depressed. But it shouldn’t be ignored.

I lost an aunt to depression and once carried my father to the hospital in my arms after he took 100+ pills. They both thought they were alone in the world too and had lost the ability to connect with those around them. My dad is much better now and reaches out when he’s upset. Prior to his attempt he never told me how he felt. It’s ok to talk about this stuff and don’t give up on others caring yet. I would not be the man today if I lost my dad like that.

I understand the comment about focusing on yourself over others but consider talking these feelings out to a professional. They’re really complex and hard to navigate alone.

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Congrats on the breakthrough!

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The same thing happened to me. I realized that each night when I lay my head down, I am alone with just me for company; that in the end it is only myself who will never leave me, so I better love myself as I am with all my good and all my bad.
It helped to realize I was my most constant companion.

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It’s important to love yourself before you love others. It’s also important to be able to have friends. Even if it’s one or two people. We are made to be in community.

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Tips pls!

I don’t think I have any tips. It was my life circumstance that led to this.

Some people have treated me poorly. And I let them treat me poorly. I had poor boundaries and am easily manipulated.

Had a “friend” bully me when I was down on life. Had other “friends” shit on me when I was depressed and suicidal. My girlfriend ghosted me too when I was getting depressed.

Spent a few months just processing everything and one day after talking with a childhood friend something in my brain just clicked. He was talking about how he doesn’t ask people to go out again if they flake on him once or twice.

Realized that there’s unacceptable things my friends do, but I’m so desperate for their friendship I let it slide. Decided that a lot of people aren’t good for me. Accepted that it’s just me and I’m looking out for myself.

The problem with me was poor boundaries and what little boundaries I did have, I never enforced. I didn’t view myself as having worth. Boundaries only begin when you have self worth. Because then you have something worth guarding.

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Waiting for that to happen for me. Congrats!

Agree OP. Good to cut toxic or negative people out of your life as you prioritize yourself. But advice above is also worth listening to. I’m an introvert so I don’t crave social interactions but I do want a handful of relationships that I can cherish forever. I cut off a lot of toxic and immature people from life and found my “crew” eventually. Once you’ve worked on yourself find and nurture some new relationships that are worth it. This will take time so you gotta keep working on this. And don’t forget the therapist!

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