First time mom-to-be. How hard is it to take care of a newborn? People tell me it's the hardest time in life ever. Why do I feel so confident that I can prove them wrong. I'm so naive, right? Any advice or tips that worked for you during those times?

Thought the same as you. My child is 12-weeks. It’s a lot better now. But everyone was right. Four main things have helped me 1. Having a supportive partner 2. Friends and family provided food vis seamless or homemade for the first few weeks. 3. Hired a night nurse once a week. 4. Epsom salt baths and a massage ever once in a while.

Good luck. Watch out for those hormone drops.

I always liked the newborn stage a lot more than wiggly older stages. They mostly sleep and cuddle and try eating their fists at that stage. My advice would be to enjoy it while it lasts, as you only have a newborn for about 4 or 5 weeks, and then a baby for a long time, then a toddler, then a kid for years on end. But you’ll never, ever get the newborn stage back, it’s over in the blink of an eye (even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time) so prioritize yourself and healing your body and talking to other parents who have done it. And snuggling. Lots and lots of snuggling. Newborns crave skin-to-skin contact most of all, and it’s the secret to keeping them in a happy zone.

The thing is, you truly cannot understand the experience of new motherhood until you’re in it. The combination of hormones, uncertainty, lack of sleep, feeding questions, etc etc etc. It’s daunting in a way that is hard to fathom. Did I mention the hormones? I’m generally not an emotional person so I was VERY caught off guard to find myself sobbing in the shower, asking myself wtf I’d just done to my life and my marriage and was everything a mistake? I also didn’t bond with my baby right away - add that to the pile of things I didn’t expect or know how to handle. (100% obsessed with her now, btw).

I don’t say any of this to scare you. But, to offer the perspective of someone else who also didn’t realize what could possibly be SO hard. It wasn’t “natural” to me for a good 4-6 weeks until I started to get my feet under me.

My best advice is to focus less on “proving people wrong” and focus more on how you’ll give yourself grace if/when things are challenging. What does your support system look like? Who can you talk to about big, overwhelming feelings (even the ugly ones)? How can you find small ways to fill your own cup even while in the thick of it? It truly is the hardest and also most rewarding job - but it can take time to feel that way.

Oh man, oh man, were they right for me at least! I was like hey, I do weeks long pitches on very little sleep, I can handle this better than most. Lol. So presumptuous.

First off, this is nothing like a pitch. This is mental and physical exhaustion and torture on another level. First, you likely won’t have much sleep leading up the the birth— if you’re like me who labored unmedicated for 36 hrs, you’ll deleriously want to stay awake for every moment even after the baby is there because it’s the most incredible thing ever, and you have to feed the baby (bleed from your nipples) every three hours religiously so that your supply can come in anyways.

There is no “catching up” if you are trying to make that happen (i gave up for one day on day like 5, let my husband formula feed and slept for 6 hours for the first time with the help of a loud fan, sound machine, and sound machine on my phone to drown out the crying— it did delay my milk supply though, but I eventually got it back).

My baby was colicky and had reflux, so sleep was a myth for us, for a long time. We are 7 mo out now and she is just starting to sleep through the night (wakes at 5am on the dot).

Then there was the fear. Is the baby breathing? Is she choking in her sleep? Is her body temp too low? Did she get covid from the hospital? Does she have epilepsy or some other random issue? Is she getting enough milk and gaining weight on track? Why wont she stop crying? Is my baby broken? What are we doing??? Suddenly you have a million fears, doubts, and questions, that all seem like the most important job in the world. Because it is. Because you are hard wired to feel this way and protect the little human. And literally no one on this planet can do it better than you, their mama. Hormones are fucking crazy, man.

But the other side of the coin. Millions of women do it every year, trillions in the history of human kind. It’s the most ancient and sacred club you’ll ever join- and it’s goddamn beautiful. There is absolutely nothing in the world that compares to that first smile, those little adoring, trusting eyes looking up at you. The little hand that holds onto your finger.

My best advice is, when feeling those big feelings, take a breath and remember that this is incredible. That thousands of women and men out there want exactly what you have in your hands right now. That the sleeplessness will fade away and you’ll be left with just the memories of you and the baby. Record as much as you can, good and bad. They grow ridiculously fast. Take a long boiling shower and cry. Give up on keeping the house clean for a bit and just survive. Give your partner some grace, they don’t know what they are doing and don’t have the biological instincts you do. Ask for what you need.

Youve absolutely got this and you will do it wonderfully.

First 6 weeks are tough. Yes, there are moments of sheer bliss soaking in this amazing little human you made but (for me) your body is still adjusting, the breastfeeding challenges, lack of sleep, crying and you can’t quite figure out why (yet) wears on you. If you happen to have PPD, it can be harder. Then you suddenly come up for air and your baby starts emailing and interacting with you and it’s so lovely! I went on to do it a few more times so it’s not all that bad. :) Just give yourself grace. Make some time for you. Ask for help. Take it when it’s offered. Good luck! You’ve got this!

We’ll, the first 60 days are a fog. You’ll be recovering from possibly the hardest thing your body ever went through and you are the entire world of this new person. There’s the feeding every two hours and all your expectations meeting reality. There’s the very unexpected (to me at least) identity shift, the reassessment of your whole life’s priorities and the feeling in your bones that you’re no longer the most important person in your life. You’ll be the mom. And to top it all off, there’s the immense amount of love, the hours gone by that you’ll be just staring at that tiny face.

It’s hard and beautiful and magical and fleeting and nothing anybody say can prepare you for it because it’s unique to you and your baby.

And I guess to really answer your question: taking care of a newborn in theory isn’t too bad. It’s doing it while sleep deprived, recovering from physical trauma and your hormones are nose diving. AND learning to breast feed which even if you have no “issues” is very, very challenging and time consuming for 3-4 months.

It largely depends on the help you have. It is hard to do alone. This I know. But with a partner that shares in all the duties (haha) equally, it is a bit easier. With family able to help, or even hiring a night nurse and then nanny… wow, game changer I’ve heard. Anyway you slice it, the carrying/ birthing/ raising of a human is hard. But know that all your baby actually needs is you, centered, calm and caring. So take care of yourself first! Eat, sleep, shower. Take time alone! As a mama, as a woman, you will go through such enormous changes and that never stops if you’re approaching it from a place of being present. And I hope you do because all of it, the sweet stuff and all the hard parts made harder by sleep deprivation, it’s all magic. Keep your heart open. Don’t try to control the chaos. Nothing will be as you imagined so let expectations go and let it just be. Step back and see the joy in every second of it because there’s nothing that compares (at least for me… not speaking for anyone else that hasn’t done the kid thing… there’s endless ways to experience joy and absolutely no judgment here). Best of luck to you!

I never thought it was that bad. I was mostly bored. Very, very bored. But my kid slept through the night from pretty much day one (woke to eat, went back to sleep) and ate without issue (bottle fed). Husbands did night feedings and we had a zone style of night care. After maternity leave I got a night nurse on Wednesday nights for a few weeks just to have a little catch up while adjusting.

Sure there were hard time here and there (i got pneumonia , husband worked 80 hours a week and had some weekend travel for work), but all in all I didn’t think it was that hard. Tedious, yes. Tiring, yes.

So, really depends on your nature (how much sleep you need, how you handle boredom and being isolated) and the actual kid. I’ve heard horror stories about kids waking up and crying for hours. Or kids who don’t eat. That would make things infinitely harder.

First for 4 weeks are HARD. It’s not impossible, but I drastically underestimated the sheer exhaustion I would feel, and overestimated my ability to get things done, so that was a big wake up call personally. I had a baby that refused to sleep unless he was being held though, so that made it tough. Others friends got great sleepers and had a very different experience.

No matter what, you’ll be ok if you go into it accepting that everyone’s experience and baby is different, and whatever you feel during this time is valid.

It’s all on you. If you have set expectations (say breastfeeding only, or sleep on crib alone, etc) and your baby just doesn’t want to do that, then it’s really really hard and mentally and physically exhausting. But if you’re flexible, know when to ask for help and spend some time focusing on you (you are as important as your baby), you’ll be fine. Motherhood is very intuitive, so if you give yourself some grace and stay open, you’ll really enjoy this stage - or not - you don’t have to feel like you have to enjoy it, I don’t think I enjoyed it, but look at me, 2 years later and thoroughly enjoying my sassy little one.

It all come natural. Just another phase of life. I am a mother of three, the youngest twins. My advise to you is get a night nurse so you get rest, learn to do a tight bundle wrap, get an automatic swing. I got a nanny that cleaned, cooked, and did the laundry. Well worth the extra money I paid. Find a pediatrician close to home. I found living in the city was hard to raise children so I moved to the burbs. I am very glad I did, but it really comes down to personal preference. I just like a smaller world. It goes ridiculously fast so don’t blink!

For me, my own physical challenges post birth superseded everything. I was totally unprepared for that and felt like I couldn’t enjoy anything about those early months as a result. It took me 2 months to be able to walk around the block without pain, about 4 to stand from a chair without help, and about a year to be able to get up off the floor without help (and I had a vaginal delivery). Pile on top of that learning to care for an infant, the sleep deprivation, the hormones and the hit to my self esteem for not being able to get done what I felt like I should be doing — the 1st year nearly broke me. I don’t mean to come across as overly pessimistic or to scare you, but I was totally unprepared for any of this or how it would impact me emotionally. I don’t think any of my friends’ experiences were quite the same as mine, and I felt very isolated because of that - wanted to be honest in case it helps someone else feel less alone!

There is this thing, hormones, that will most likely make this one of the most challenging parts of your life. Add in massive psychical trauma, even if it’s an “uneventful” birth (as if that exists) and the rumors of this being hard are very true.

I think it’s great to be confident but this is truly an experience that will change your life in ways you’ll never be able to understand until you are there. I think be easy on yourself, and your expectations, now and when baby arrives.

Also, no matter how hard you try, you’re gonna be tired and I’d set expectation that anyone getting a full 8 hours for atleast week 1 are expectations you may not want to set for yourself.

I’m so sorry but having had a baby this post reads like this to me “how bad is it to get hit by a truck, really?” Hah sorry OP. Brace yourself.

This is a tough one to answer. I’ll say it was both the toughest thing I’ve ever done, and that it also came so naturally. At that stage I never got annoyed at crying, never frustrated I didn’t get enough sleep, and I met it straight on. With that said, as a person who does not need much sleep, it was the most exhausted I’d ever been in my life. While pregnant I worked 16 hrs a day approximately 7 days a week with three jobs. I thought I was exhausted then, but it was nothing compared to being a single mom, with no family or partner, who chose to breastfeed. Regardless it’s worth it, and you’ll figure out what works for you. Congrats! Enjoy every moment. <3

You just don’t know what challenges your baby will have. That’s what really determines what you’re going to find easy and what you’re going to struggle with.

My second baby is now three months old. I found the newborn stage to be very easy with both. With my first I kept saying I thought this was going g to be harder wtf. I mean it’s not nothing, and I was tired, but it was nowhere near what I was expecting. I had a much harder time around 16 months when my first was so mobile and I’ll tell you what, age 3 has been slaughtering me for the last 7 months. All this to say, it’s different for everyone.

Depends on your baby's disposition, how the birth goes and how you deal with no sleep. I had very chill first baby and I'm a pretty relaxed mom. I wish I didn't worry about what it would be like to go back to work. Also I tried to work with my second baby when he was 6 weeks old and colicky. I don't even remember him as a baby it was a blur. And with my 3rd I made sure to take a full maternity leave with no work calls or emails. Don't squander your time that is owed to you. You think you are indispensable and from the other side I can't believe how short other people's maternity leaves seem to be.

Get a night nurse. The sleep deprivation is real. Get as much help as you can. I am talking about someone who can help cook and clean your house. Start planning your tribe and support system ASAP! Newborns eat every 2-3 hours and if you’re breastfeeding forget it.