For my married peeps - do you feel like consulting is messing with your married life? Or maybe its just bringing out the stuff that was already there ... 31 m from NyC if that helps

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Screws up most marriages for sure.

like

33 m here- it's definitely a bit tricky. What I find most difficult is the lack of consistency, as far as time home. When I'm traveling, we both get into a routine, when on the bench, it's a different routine. The transition period is tough.

like

Married for a year, screwed up my first six months of marriage for sure. Been traveling for 3 years non-stop, wife found it really difficult to handle everything alone while I was gone and she was new to the US. It was a total mess and the management wasn't v supportive either. Had a tough time balancing things. Hope things get better soon

like

How we make it "work". 1) outsource everything - cleaning lady, lawn care, meal delivery, etc. 2) create some sort of routine you can keep even when away ( I call every night at 8pm) when I'm away 3) check in regularly (every 4 months or so) and confirm that this career / lifestyle is still what you both want and if not.. be prepared to leave. My husband supports me or I couldn't do it 4) create your non- negotiables - for me I go to every mommy and me event at pre-k 5) Jedi mind trick yourself - it's not as bad as.... a deployment, having to work 3 jobs to pay bills ... etc etc I like to give myself a reality check and remind myself I'm lucky to have this job at all

like

Female here. Married 10 years. It was fine before kids but after that it definitely had a rocky period before we were able to work through the work/family thing. Both had to compromise on what we wanted but are in a good place now.

like

My consulting friends, female, have all left the profession or gone internal with no travel to have kids

like

Mine has been great - keeps things exciting when I'm home and we seem to make the most of our time since we know I'll be away 27/m/HTX

like

Female- 8 years married- was fine before kids. Got incrementally more rocky after each child. Lots of hard work required to keep things afloat.

like

For some encouragement- my non consulting friends have the same issues... consulting just magnifies it. Anyone who says marriage is a cake walk hasn't been in the game for very long or is lying.

like

D1 , PwC 1 - you sort of hit the nail on the head. Things were great before kids. But 15 months later, I find myself spending more time in the office and not wanting to come home.

like

Kids & consulting is the hardest part, agreed here

like

@Ow1. I make 2.5x what my husband does yet I was doing more work at home and while I was local for a while it wouldn't last forever. He always had an attitude when I had to work late or go on a trip. I told him I would give up travel knowing it would impact my career if it meant we could be happy again. Ultimately he changed his attitude and committed to picking up more at home. I don't travel full time as I am a SM and have some local clients. We have an au pair which also makes a huge difference.

like

Most studies show that happiness initially drops after having kids, but then goes higher than the pre-kids period in the long run.

like

Yes

It was the final straw that ended my marriage but I have no regrets. It was a matter of time until it ended, regardless of my job

Just had my first kid (28/f), interested to hear more on how you got through the rough patches or how you made consulting and kids "work" in your marriage.

Everyone here is right, its not easy. Mix in kids (especially newborns that require a lot more time and attention) and making it work becomes impossible unless you can afford to have a live-in nanny or family members to help out. My personal observation (including my own case) on the effect of consulting on marriage is that it makes it challenging but still not comparable to some of the other obstacles you will face later in life. Honesty and open, frequent communication with your loved ones is the key. Also, if your partner also has a difficult career such as IB or corp law, then it makes it exponentially more difficult.

For those that are saying marriage was great before kids.... that is true no matter what profession you are in. I had kids long before joining consulting. Two income, regular home every night jobs, and kids where a huge drain on the marriage. Happiness research is all over the place but the one thing that it kind of agrees on is that kids just make people less happy.

Consulting actually helped our marriage because we moved from two incomes to one. I am also much more focused on the kids and wife when I am home. Also our kids are getting older and less needy.

Related Posts

Just started Succession. Does the world of advertising have a family similar to the Roys?

likesmartfunny

Girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me right before we were supposed to leave the state and move in together. We broke up about 4 months ago. I couldn’t demonize her, so I’m still struggling with processing it and idk what to do. I’ve been looking into therapy, but I can only do online which leaves me hesitant. Any advice would be appreciated.

like

It's an exhausting time to be working in this industry, to say the least. How do you prevent taking your work home with you?

like

Any dads out here? Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with our first and want to connect and know from fellow dads on how are they coping. How are you helping your partner? Feel I am not doing enough. Except for getting ready with the finances.

Pregnant moms, feel free to provide suggestions on what your partner is doing which you really appreciate. I got the foot massage part covered. 😉

likeupliftinghelpful

Thoughts on having a baby 👶🏾 with a surrogate in West Africa or the Caribbean ? Also looking towards Mexico.

like

I want to buy a large TV for Cyber Monday but have always been lower income. I would feel bad having family over with an expensive TV. I don't really need it. Our house is still very much low budget. I haven't made any real upgrades since getting a new job.

Is this a weird rationalization or logical? I am kind of torn so I considered just using that money for a vacation and maybe buying a TV next year... though I'll likely do this again at that time.

like

To those with an anxious attachment style and have trust issues due to past childhood trauma you’re still healing from: How do you keep yourself from thinking your significant other is going to cheat on you when she/he goes to a party or out while you’re miles away? I’ve been in therapy to help, and trying to distract myself but my anxiety is keeping it from working and don’t want to put that pressure on him because I’m trying to work on it.

like

My fiancé will NOT stop talking about her ex. After I found out they were texting arguing she justified it by saying it was about the dogs and not them. Even though Her social media is full of his pics. She still sends him $50 a month for dog food, still goes to work right by his place and suspiciously needs keys. I try to bring it up and I get dismantled for being too mean and making “false accusations.” How much more obvious can it be?

like

Has anyone been through a situation that you were in a terrible relationship ( stress,anger, fights, swears, physical abuse, ego clashes) and how did you resolve it? Some might have worked on and stayed in the relationship and some might have broken up. I am looking for answers from both sides. How did you stay/work on it and how did you break up and move on? Me and my partner have strong feelings for eachother and are almost inseparable despite going through so much.

likehelpful

My gf and me call each other everytime we have free time. However lately she seems disinterested in phone time. She never initiates calls anymore and she tells me she wants to hang up in the middle of the day and not right before bedtime. We live a 4 hour drive apart. And I told her this is like living together from a distance, because I put her on the house speakers. What can I do to keep her engaged?

like

I got into a small argument with my bf about our future and he said something along the lines that he thinks I don’t want this instead I want to want this. We have resolved the core issue which was mainly a misunderstanding but thinking back at it I think he’s right. I do very often feel like i want to want this because he loves me so much but I am not sure I actually want this …

like

Only came here to type that am a woman looking for a relationship
Quiet, well-manered, healthy life-style
Love to stay home, not a party person
Independent and candid
I do not Ghost or string Long.

like

Married white female / 35 / got that covid 19 (extra pounds😅) seeking a human being in these trying times for taking out trash and doing the chores i don’t feel like. would consider a fake marriage for citizenship purposes assuming you are a practicing lawyer

funnylike

I don't love my parents. I think they're hardworking, but they're not the parents that I needed when I was growing up. Moved away from them the moment I was able to. Don't really want to visit them any time soon.

likehelpfuluplifting

Let’s say you have two young, high income partners in a couple who want to buy a house together but don’t really care to get married. They already live together in an apartment but both want to move to a house to build equity and have a yard, not share walls, etc. Should one partner buy the house and the other pays rent until they get married, or should they get a mortgage together without being married? I realize there isn’t a “right” answer but I’m interested in people’s experiences here.

likefunny

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

like

Stopped a fwb situation. But staying away is so hard. 😔

like

If an ex gf/bf hurt you, would you want to hear an apology, even if it was a year or so later, or would you rather never hear from them again?

like

Never tell your wife to calm down. That won’t go well for you.

Instead, turn it into a question like “does someone need a time out?” Much less confrontational that way.

likefunny

Pissed at my ex gf’s homophobic parents who are the reason for making our relationship hell by forcing her to get married to dudes they bring from a matrimonial website and for her to break up with me.

More Posts

like

My fiancé and I are really interested in an apartment complex in north park. Would anyone be able to provide their opinion on the place?

It’s called Blvd North Park Apartments

R&D Vs Consultancy

Where to go?

R&D has no money! But satisfaction
Consultancy has money but I feel stressed out there.

What to do?

like

Which credit card do you think is the best for ME consultants?

like

Which are the top consulting firms in the region after MBBK , heard strategy& has a really bad culture so exclude that too?

like

Anyone at EY PARTHENON in Dubai or Saudi willing to have a quick chat? Would be great to get some info / connect with people there.

Thanks in advance

(Can’t tag them for some reason)
EY
@eyparthenon

like

Congrats to W+K on winning Visa creative strategy (thanks AdWeek for the news 👀)! I saw they are leading the account out of PDX office. Anyone in the know if they’ll be hiring not just for the new win but in general?

like

Only came here to type that am a woman looking for a relationship
Quiet, well-manered, healthy life-style
Love to stay home, not a party person
Independent and candid
I do not Ghost or string Long.

like

Anyone know company called

overt ideas and solutions in banglore .

like

Are Bain, BCG, or McKinsey hiring at junior levels for their NY offices?

like
like

What consulting firms are in Raleigh, NC ? And how is the pay compared to somewhere like Houston or Chicago?

like

Is it good to get stocks as part of CTC which has 4 years vesting period?

CTC looks high due to this stocks but effectively i would not be getting it for the 4 years. Also the yearly hike includes this stock component.

CTC had fixed, variable and stock part. Variable and stock is almost 30% of total ctc.

Really confused if this is a good deal or is it a trap.

like

How is Fujitsu for SAP Functional having 8yrs exp, offering 25 fixed.

like

Im unable to attend interview for Infosys due to some personal reason..they are saying okay we ll schedule it for next drive..can anyone tell any tentative date..or something when can I expect next interview?Infosys

like

I need a referal for Devops Engineer role in SAP LABS, can anyone help me on this?

SAP

like

Hey, I'm looking referral for a Junior UI/UX role.
Please help guys.
Thank you

like

Can someone refer me to Google analyst position

like
like

Anyone else get ruined by the metro delay this morning?

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

What is PwC’s 401k match? Do they sponsor b school?

like

Bain & Company Can someone recommend a good starting point on how to go around solving case interviews? What frameworks should I follow? I am kinda new to case interview and want to develop skills to solve them. Any books, online sources would be really appreciable. Deloitte EY-Parthenon Strategy& McKinsey & Company Boston Consulting Group Bain & Company

like

Failed IVF for a third time. Used up my lifetime insurance allowance, and each trial now costs $23,000. Eating through life savings and don’t know what to do...

likefunny

Someone: I have a lot of student loans
Y’all: well you should’ve graduated valedictorian of your HS went to a state school enlisted in the army majored in engineering and got 4.0s, so stop complaining

like

Hi All,

Moving out of IT consulting to Product Management side in the next couple of weeks.
The new company I will join is an e-commerce division of a leading food retail group.

Any suggestions about books/ videos that I can access to learn the basics of the product side?

like

At PwC(S&) are evaluations (career roundtables) driven primarily by utilization? How much do reinvest and snapshots play?

like

Worthwhile getting the AWS cloud practitioner cert? (Will there be a return financially in ease of finding job or higher salary)?

like

Not sure if I am getting laid off. What are some key signs. Thanks in advance for your help?

like

What are your book recommendations?

like

Should I get the iphone X or wait for the next iphone?

like

Deloitte fish, what’s an average bonus % for a 3, 2, 1 respectively ?

like

Anyone here take APICS CSCP? Is it worth it? What type of role are you in?

like

What are your expenses/time horror stories? Has anyone gotten fired in relation to expenses? Compensation withheld?

Fake friendliness: at what point does it start to bother you?

like

When did you know it was time to quit?

like

Any book recommendations for philosophy, psychology, and business? Or any book you read last year changed your values? Going to fly international, gonna read it on flight. 😍

like

What do you think it takes for a PPD to get a utilization bearing WBS for proposal work? I know it is rare...

like

Anyone in Chicago care to have a drink tonight (Thursday) night near west loop/river north? Realize it’s fly day but would prefer to meet locals anyway. 🌅 🍷 🌃

like

how badly does a project have to go for the team to get fired?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal