Had my performance review last week and my manager kept bringing up how well my other colleague is doing and using her as an example of things that I could do better. I understand that she was trying to help and encourage, but in the same breath it’s sort of discouraging to keep bringing up my coworker during MY performance review. Idk, thoughts?

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Nothing in an annual review should ever be a surprise. If it is then that really falls on the manager for not bringing up things they see as an issue during the year so there can be course correction. I end every one on one with my manager with the same 2 questions: "what can I do to make your life easier" and "is there anything you see that needs adjusted or improved" and I note the answers to that in my notes. Then if there is a "surprise" at the end of the year I can use my "Uno Reverse" card by pulling up my notes asking why it wasn't brought up at the time.

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Thanks for this! I’m definitely going to use those questions going forward and in my work to try and make her life easier so she can build more confidence in me.

It’s not ideal, but I’ve done it if only to provide a benchmark for someone to understand what good looks like. The only concern I would have is if they didn’t give you concrete actionable examples - if it’s “colleague executed their project in this manner using these tools which meant their project was successful and I would like the whole team to follow it”, then fine. If it’s more along the lines of “why can’t you be more like your sister?”, then that sucks.

If it’s the latter, go back and challenge them to give you actionable feedback that you can follow and hold up in the next review (quarter/half-year - or just your regular 1:1s) as proof you’ve stepped up/followed direction.

likesmart

Thank you this is very helpful! She definitely did it in a way of this is what your co worker did and implemented it in a great way so model that. I’ll be sure to not take it personally but improve. Thanks for the help!

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Try not taking it personally. Lean into your manager’s advice and take the criticism in stride. You’ll present yourself as confident, open minded, and willing to improve. I promise it will pay off in the long run.

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Thank you so much!!

Your manager was using the "use an example" method of instruction. Apparently, a bit too ham-handed from the sound of things. Glean what you can from that evaluation, don't hold it against the "teacher's pet" co-worker or your manager. You may want to watch "Miss Perfect" for a few weeks to see if she is really doing anything differently than you are, or is she just having a run of good luck.

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Thank you!! I will do this and watch Miss Perfect lol ima definitely not holding anything against them - I actually love my coworker she’s referring to haha and she does have more experience and confidence so I’ll take what I can from her and put my own take on things. I appreciate the suggestions!

Performance review can turn out to be kinda brutal, I have experienced something worse than this. Think like this, your manager's intention was to try to bring out the best in you and she knows that you can do it if you want to. After the performance review, you both can still have coffee together. While you spend time working on this part of feedback that you received, make sure it is visible to your manager. This shows that you really listen and take her feedback seriously. Hope this helps! It's ok to feel discourage and it's ok to feel gloomy. Take your time and bounce back strong. You can do this.

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🥹 thank you! I appreciate this so much. I definitely have room for improvement but she also stated that she’s seen me improved since I started so it’s a good step in the right direction. I will absolutely take this advice and keep it in mind for future improvement and really in life. Thank you!! Much success to you too 💕

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