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Any suggestion is appreciated.
Hello everyone! I recently pivoted from working in advertising to working at an early-stage fintech startup. I'm looking to speak with business finance leaders who manage corporate cash and credit lines for their companies to learn more about your tools and your approach to cash management. I'll buy you lunch/coffee for your time.
If interested shoot me an email me at kathryn@crescent.app! And thank you!!
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Rising Star
I won't date certain people for this very reason. I need someone who will lift me up, not drag me down. They don't need to be perfect, but if they're not even recognizing it as an issue, that ain't gonna work for me. I would eat so unhealthily if I had an enabler.
Yes but one thing I want to highlight is the fact that the person doesn’t want to change that’s a factor for me. Personally I have gotten into fitness and had fitness ruts ( and anyone who deals with emotional eating knows the struggle :/) where I get lazy but I always bounce back. I would give my SO that same sympathy but there’s a difference between that and someone who has zero desire to be active or just healthy . It’s a no go. I have friends like this and their fun drinking buddies but I thankfully have friends that are more balanced. After a while you start appreciating the ones that also want a healthy lifestyle but don’t mind a little night out. Also healthy activities isn’t just a lifestyle is a hobby! It’s nice to have SO or friends that want to talk about healthy recipes, will do dry months with you and go on walks with you and not feel annoyed or threatened.
C2 just wanted to say - I feel you! I’ve had a year where I gained 14 and then another year where I was more mindful of my emotions and eating and lost 20.
Everyone around me being kind and leading by example, and me staying moderately active through it and seeing how I felt when I did workout was a big driver ine getting more active, and then starting to eat more mindfully. So I’d definitely check on intention / is this something new or something that was always there but you’ve outgrown
If it’s important to you, that’s absolutely a legitimate reason to reevaluate if someone is right for you.
Pro
Yep. If this is a core part of your value system, and your current partner is not aligned with it, then it won’t work.
Yes and it can only get worse
Pro
I contemplated that with some of my friends. They have been my friends for over 10 years, but lately I realized that I am not moving as fast I want to and when I hangout with them I no longer feel like we are at the same maturity level and I don’t have patience to mentor anyone anymore.
I don’t have any friends at the moment who have similar goals as I do when it comes diet and workout.
I feel that. My friends haven’t really progressed in their interests post university, many still want to spend the weekends hanging out and drinking.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy hanging out and drinking in moderation, but I also want to go crush a long bike ride on a Sunday morning, take a dip in the lake, or train for some event. My current friend group has little interest in doing these activities so it’s kind of frustrating. Looking to expand my social circle.
Yes, yes, yes! If they’re not helping you become a better person, they’re just holding you back.
I wasn’t sure if this was the right bowl, but thanks all.
Yes. Even just from a longevity standpoint. I don't want the person I'm committing to to fall into health issues and a shortened life span prematurely.
Rising Star
Yes, this. Dropping dead while the kids are young from something preventable. Or not being remotely physically fit enough to play with the kids. Or keep up with me on vacation.
I haven't been in a situation like this, but this would be a huge deal for me.
When I met my SO, I was the unhealthy one and he was super healthy. I wanted to change for years but just couldn’t find the motivation to (rolling my own eyes at this lol). My SO helped motivate me in the most positive way and now I’m the “healthier” one! Before making any decisions, make sure it’s not just that they’re intimidated :)
Chief
Yep to this. If you share an aspiration and a motivation, great change can happen.
I’ve dumped someone for being unhealthy, unmotivated about health, and uninspired as a cook (tho he was ambitious in other ways!).
On the flip side my SIL is with a guy who packed on pounds and eats like a child due to depressive habits — even tho he’s still working on consistency, he’s got the desire to be fit and so it’s not a dealbreaker for her
YES. Left an SO solely because of his laziness. I’m a very active person and his lack of interest in being healthy was a dealbreaker. It was a tough decision but the right one for me. It really depends on how important it is to you to have a SO that cares about being healthy alongside you.
Can you define unhealthy? Is it to the point that their blood tests are flagging something and they’re not doing anything about it?
Maybe the question was to establish how serious (life threatening) the situation is? Take it easy EY 1and PwC 1
Yes, I’ve done it. You need someone who compliments your lifestyle.
Oh hell yes
No but I have been the person who cared more about when the next drink or pill was coming rather than the relationship. Getting dumped was the best thing to happen to me. So I can tell you from the other perspective that if this person isn’t willing to better their health especially after the year we’ve had it might just be the thing to save them
I try to redirect my energy to myself instead of my partner. Am I doing the best I can for myself? What else could I be putting this energy into that is for me?
Yes!!!
I think you should do whatever feels best for you. But I also think that your body and health has absolutely nothing to do with your SO. You can lead a healthy lifestyle and have friends who do the same, without your SO. It may seem harder if your SO isn’t healthy, but I’ve learned during quarantine that I actually don’t have to eat everything my SO eats and we can still eat together and be happy. He doesn’t have to take me on walks I can go exercise myself. And yea I always knew this of course but I literally wasn’t motivated to do things myself until this past year 😅 so I understand where you’re coming from and it’s just my perspective when I say that this lifestyle you want to live is yours and can only come from within.
Yes, in the process of pushing someone away now. Food and drink are his passions, then he talks about weight and health everyday. Medical standard, obese. I gain 15 lbs, at the wrong age. Its difficult to do but if you continue youll be having to double motivate yourself and deal with their constant struggles. So hard to leave someone you love, yet know you need to love yourself more and they make it very difficult to do so.
57, still looking for a solid guy who is healthy and motivating instead of judgmental and ego based.
Being single isnt that bad. Taking care of me...have a lot of friends and family as well as clients who all keep my life full!!
Deal breaker for me, I totally feel you!