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Good Morning!
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Additional Posts in Public Accountants with Children
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I had a female partner (at BDO) tell me once that I should get extended care in the morning and evening at day care so I could make the kind of commitment that was needed to make it.... I told her if that’s what is was going to take, basically having someone else raise my kids and I basically see them when they are already asleep, that maybe I didn’t want to make it..... I know I don’t want to be a partner, for many years now, and I am fine with that. Looking professional is obviously very important, being told to go out and spend $1000 on a bag to impress people - stupidity!
OP, I am not in a very client facing role (tax), so it's hard for me to understand the client influence. It does feel stupid to be told what to wear or worse, how to raise your kids, especially in a professional environment like ours!
Nevertheless, take this advice for its face value and nothing more. My coach (also a mother of two) had a very thorough conversation with me regarding what it takes to have a career in PA.
She explained to me how hard it's been for her with two kids and how to communicate with the partners when I need to use the flexibility policy. She told me how hard busy seasons are and how she needs help at home to put in the hours.
She was clear that the firm will work with me and help me achieve my goals, whether that is jumping to industry after manager or staying in PA, but that it's on me to let them know my needs and when/if I need help.
My point? PA requires a lot of sacrifices and as long as you know what it takes, you understand whether you can do it or not. Yes, 40 hrs weeks are nonexistent in PA and family time gets impacted. It's on you to make your lifestyle choices and balance your family. It sucks. But this is the reality.
The bag thing... I probably wouldn't take it personal. Her heart may be in the right place, just didn't know how to verbalize it.
What kind of clients do you work on? It’s not completely out of line - there is a bit of prestige that comes with carrying certain bags and in general how you carry yourself. I’m not saying live outside of your means, but I also don’t know what kind of bag you carry?! If it’s really old, may be time for an upgrade? I know people say not to judge a book by it’s cover but unfortunately first impressions do last a lifetime. Your purse, shoes, outfits all make a first impression
@Assurance Senior 1 - I carry a Cuyana tote and buy my clothes at Brooks Brothers and Banana Republic. Essentially, I don’t look like a slob. Most of my clients are attorneys and CFOs
MD here- silly to spend tons on bag/ shoes. Just make sure you look very professional in front of clients. This can be done without spending a fortune. With respect to childcare, that is somewhat more of a value comment. To make partner or MD, it is not an 8-5 job. How you manage that and what your career goals are may or may not impact your childcare options. Some type of flexibility is frequently needed or a hard job becomes impossible. You will have to work that balance out for yourself as everyone’s situation is different. She is likely just trying to get this across to you honestly rather than s rainbows and unicorns approach that says you can easily do it all. Life is full of trade offs
BDO, voted best firm for working mothers........
I am asking by today my CA told me that I should consider getting a nanny for my two kids and purchase a designer bag (eg, LV) to get ahead. I’m in advisory and she said that prominent clients notice that sort of of stuff. I asked her if she was joking and she said that workplaces are too PC these days, but she felt obligated to tell me be she wants me to succeed
^BDO1 this sounds great. What makes it the best? I am sincerely curious.
How long is maternity leave? How many hours do you work during busy season/ off season? How easy is it to work from home? Are the office hours strict, or can I work 7 to 4 if needed?
I assume this also depends on the office and LOS. I am interested in this info for Tax.
Thanks!
I think it really depends on the clients you serve. I wouldn’t and won’t spend hundreds/thousands on a bag/shoes etc.
My manager told me I made “life choices” and have to deal with making everything work...
This is typical of PwC. They have no family values.