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“Reflecting on and adopting the use of micro-affirmations would be a positive strategy to prevent microaggressions. Micro-affirmations are small acts that foster inclusion, listening, comfort and support for people who may feel isolated or invisible in their environment. Focus on action, not avoidance – create new good behaviours.”
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Are they still napping? My kid stopped around that age (we didn’t push it, it just naturally happened because she wouldn’t nap at her new preschool...it was too fun). Once she stopped napping she went to bed at 7:30 and slept until 7. My husband and I were like “Oh hi. Who are you?” The transition was tough but only lasted a week or so. She’s 6 and this is still her schedule. It’s great
That age is the hardest rap for working parents because they do have lots of energy and really try to push boundaries. This is how we dealt with it.
1) She went to preschool, where they took naps, so in the evening we’d take her to a park and let her run around for a good 45 mins or so.
2) No TV/ electronics before bedtime as it wires their brains. She could watch TV on weekends.
3) As a mom, I needed to maintain my sanity, so I would do dinner, bath time and brushing teeth, and reading time with lights out was handled by daddy. This gave me time to clean up the kitchen while listening to music (destess), take a shower, and catch up on some work.
4) The kiddo was told that if she cant sleep after reading time she has to stay in her room- read or play quietly. Being an only child, starting at about the same age, we’d always find her crawl into our bed around 3am and we let her sleep with us. Honestly, we didn’t have the energy to pick her up and taker her back to her room every night. This is was just easier and disturbed no one.
5) I also found that working from home once a week helped me tremendously to catch up on pending work, so, instead of Fridays, I’d opt to WFH on a Wed or Thurs. It also gave me some much needed “me time.”
6) Find a Korean spa nearby. Research it :) Usually they are open late and some are even 24 hrs depending on where you are. You will not regret going there once in a while to de-stress and re-energize.
Good luck! It is a hard age (for working moms) but you’ll miss it terribly as they grow up.
I also came back to say separate them. Mine are 7 now so my memory is foggy. But 1) sleep patterns for us was 8-830 to 7 when they were that age. Now we're at 9pm-7. That's the best I could do. Granted I can multitask now that they're not trying to kill themselves all day. 2) if the craziness got too bad, I would separate them. Sorry you have to go sleep somewhere else tonight since you can't settle down. After a few nights they learned pretty quick they preferred their own bed. Threats work! At this age I still separate for bedtime stories when we can. So they can't distract each other and start to calm down. 3) Try laps. If they're hyper. I make them chase each other around the house for half hour. 30 laps at least. Have them compete. I have boys. Also improves counting skills.
Yessss so much good stuff in here. I never thought of doing separate bedtime stories for some reason. That is def something to try. Also I love you for suggesting laps- that is frikken hilarious and I may try that one day just for the shits.
I just want to thank 99.9 percent of you offering advice and support. Tonight we have then a very small dose of melatonin and it worked like magic. I am elated.
Oh man, my kids aren’t there yet but I feel you. Could you try telling them they need to be in bed at 8:30 or 9 and after that is quiet/in bed time. They have these kiddie “alarm clocks” that are one color when the kid has to stay in their room and change to green when they can get up.
Yea I almost ordered one of those last night but these girls give zero fucks about anyone or anything who tries to stop them from partying 😩
My 4 year old son is doing this same thing and it’s terrible. I have no advice, just solidarity. We were those smug parents with such a good sleeper offering unhelpful advice or judging and then WE GOT OURS. Just know you’re doing a great job and you’re not alone.
Now I don’t have any time to myself. I’m exhausted, stressed and at a breaking point.
We do the reading thing - I might give them more time reading alone and see if that does anything
Ugh i feel you, OP. I have one who is almost 4.5 and giving her melatonin saved us. It eliminated 45 minutes of warfare that was wrecking all of us, night after night, and got her on a better schedule fairly quickly.
if you want to chat more pls DM.
And stay strong, sister.
They want to hang w you ... hold em tight
So sorry, I know this is really hard. I have a 3 & 6 y/o and there’s never enough time. I do let my kids read books in their room after they’re in bed. Sometimes they read for 1-1.5 hrs. I also let them read together if they stay quiet. That helps a lot. It also may be time to cut out or at least cut down naps. My oldest was terrible going to bed so we cut out her naps altogether at 3. Good luck, hang in there. It’s impossible at times but totally worth it and it will get better soon.
I really appreciate this. Thank you. We’ve tried cutting naps on weekends but they still wanna party at night. Maybe I need to try it during the week, though I don’t know how their teachers will react to that.
I FEEL you. Going through the same thing with my 3.5 year old. He still naps at preschool, which leads to extremely late bedtimes. Weekends he doesn’t nap and he’s in bed by 7/7:30pm 🙌🏼 That’s when I get my me time. During the week, screentime/activities give me some sanity to make it through to bedtime. Good luck and sending you sympathetic hugs, it’s so hard adjusting to the ever changing schedules/phases.
Thank you all so much. I appreciate all of the commiseration and success stories— I know it has to get better.
Baths. LONG baths at 7 at night, every night, the more toys and bubbles the better.
I’m getting scared with this thread! My son is 2. So I should mentally prepare myself to that. He is usually ahead, so I think around 3 he will be like that. Omg! I’ll buy that clock, give him a long bath, and reading time! All the recommendations here.
And I hope the CD who posted gets things on track again soon. I’m creative too, and I know that every mom needs alone time, but I feel creatives need it a tiny bit more. I feel you! Hope you manage this smoothly with the tips above!
Yay! 👍🙏🤞 I was just coming back to suggest separating them but glad you found something easier.
8:30 is a pretty late bedtime. Try putting them to bed earlier, around 7 or 7:30, and see what happens. By 8:30 they may be overtired.
What time do you guys get home? I feel like my kids would do better if they were in bed at 7:30-8 but I often don’t get home til 6:30- 7. I would have no time with them!
Checking in OP. Any better today?
Ahhh they went down at 9:47 today. 9 fucking 47. It guess it’s better than 10-10:30 but 😩😰
Tonight one of my daughters didn’t go down til 11. So basically 11 PM was the first moment I had to myself all day. Oh and bc my husband is out of town, I had to take the garbage out
At the risk of sounding condescending, YOU are the parent. The kids will go to their rooms for bedtime when YOU consistently make that the rule. It's mentally exhausting sometimes to lay down the law at home after a 8-10 hr day at work, but if you put your kids to bed at 830 consistently for a week, with consequences and punishments if they come out of their room after that time, seems like it should be an easy solve (parent of 2- 10 and 4 and full-time working single mom here)
Stop letting these kids dictate the rules of the house
We’re dealing with the same thing as OP and have always been super strict about bedtime. Sometimes kids are dicks?
I wish I knew about essential oils when my kids were little . A bit of diffused lavender is nice and calming