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Seriously wish I could give you advice but I'm too distracted by the multiple crossword puzzle and where's waldo books around me, the crochet sweater I started in august, and the half upholstered chair I got from the thrift store and told myself I was going to "refurbish" last spring in my free time. ADHDers are like magpies as far as I can tell, except the object doesn't even have to be shiny to catch our eye. We want to do it all but have the executive functioning skills for about a third of it lmao.
This happens to everyone with ADHD i think. Atleast I know that is the case for me. Even on meds I still do it. I have kind of just accepted it at this point in my life.
Tell me about it! I remember being constantly scolded by my mom with all my unfinished projects sitting around our house before. I prettt much still do it noe that I'm an adult but I do have to say that I have gotten a lot more discipline. I had to learn self-control every single day in order to stay on one project until I finish it. Having a partner to remind you really is helpful.
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I think it’s going to be less about stopping it and more about creating a manageable compromise and supports. This is very much a symptom of ADHD so “growing up” or some other ablest malarkey can’t fly.
For example, I have a monthly, personal, no justification, spending budget. If I choose to hyper fixate on Pokémon this month and learning to crochet next month, so long as I don’t go over my budgeted amount there is no argument. If that might be problematic for you to track, setting up a separate bank account for your “allowance“ to be deposited would be an appropriate support.
For the mess, I have a dedicated space in the house that is mine to be messy in. Technically, I share it with my son but he’s very comfortable telling me to move my stuff, lol, and it’s not the same feeling as a spouse acting like a parent. If my spouse doesn’t like it he simply doesn’t need to open that door 😁
I don't think there's a problem with that. We're human. Just find a tidy way to keep up with your projects. Build a designated area like maybe a shelf.
My spouse has learned that I go in sprints, not marathons. I *will* sort, clean and throw out... eventually - after I have gathered enough mental energy to tackle it. And in the meantime, he has to be patient, and/or I have to be willing to accept him stuffing my mess in a corner in a way I don't control until I can get to it.
He's learned by now that I usually have a pretty good reason for holding on to whatever I've held on to (i.e. it's useful or valuable), so he's stopped arguing about the hoarding as much, and just bugs me about the mess.
Having lists helps me. And maybe spending a little bit of time every day to chip away at it. Doesn't work every project though (painting for example - it's not worth it spending an hour each day painting parts of the room because clean up and prep will take the majority)
I know how it feels. I get so hyperfixated on my sewing projects for two weeks until I come across a good book and end up hyperfixating on that for the following weeks. It's truly a vicious cycle. I have the attention span of a two year old and the memory of a goldfish. Maybe your partner could remind you of it more frequently.
Yep seems about right...I have tons of different hobbies that I've tried and failed. I do try to carve out some time on the weekend but it doesn't always work out