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Are you embarrassed about relapsing? I currently have a friend who relapsed and is avoiding meetings out of embarrassment. Take a deep breath walk into that meeting with your head held high and let people help you. I am not judging my friend at all for relapsing. I miss her and wish she'd answer my calls and come back before she gets a DUI and ends up in jail or hits another such bottom.
The fact you relapsed is not due to you being weak. It's your mind trying to manage your anxiety levels which as I read it right were extremely high. It's a lifelong struggle that comes with ups and downs.
Keep your head up and pick up where you left off. The fact you managed to be sober for 5 years shows you're a very strong person and that you will be able to get back to it. Give yourself the mental space and don't punish yourself.
Wish you all the strength possible!
I relapsed and was incredibly embarrassed, sad, angry, and afraid(typical alcoholic). I reached out to a person (later my sponsor) to let him know I relapsed. I was basically testing the water and found nothing but support. After that, I went to a small meeting that I used to attend before my relapse. Everyone was positive and shared their relapse stories. The community is there for you. Sharing here is a good start. Just keep moving forward one step, and one day at a time. You’ve got this.
The rooms and the fellowship will always welcome you back and will not judge. Many ppl in those rooms have relapsed as well. It sounds like you need the program, meetings, a sponsor and working the steps more than ever before. Do this for yourself and the quality of your life, pick up the tools to fight the disease that makes us powerless over alcohol and other substances. DM me if you need someone to talk to.
Don’t feel uncomfortable, we’ve all been in those shoes before. Relapse is often part of recovery. Pick yourself up, dust off your shoulders, don’t beat yourself up, and get back on the wagon. You got this.
Bowl Leader
Every person who’s sober through AA had a “first meeting”. Maybe it was court ordered or maybe it was an angry spouse, or maybe we were just sick and tired of being sick and tired, but the one thing we all were was: scared…and probably uncomfortable and probably embarrassed.
The same is true for anyone who had a relapse and found their way back to the rooms. What’s likely to happen, once you walk into that first meeting after your relapse, is someone will give you a big hug and welcome you back. No one in recovery is ever embarrassed by the relapse of another, because we all know just how hard and insidious this damn disease is.
I suggest you tell that brain of yours to zip it, and allow your feet to carry you into that meeting, and from there, let the program do the rest. :)
❤️🩹
In life you either get a good experience or a good story both are equally valuable. Get back in those meeting, if it doesn't work out we will be here for the story. Focus on what you learned from your relapse and let go of the shame. It's not serving you.