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They hire help and outsource what they can. Earning a generous income will help you afford help with the home stuff.
Others use their legal education outside of biglaw, whether elsewhere in private practice, in-house, government, or outside of law entirely. Finish your degree, get called to the bar, and then decide where to go from there.
Outsource help everywhere possible!
Lots and lots of hired help. Cleaning ppl twice or more a week, full time nanny/house manager even when the kids are in school all day, premade meals delivered, groceries delivered, lots of extracurriculars for the kids that the nanny takes them to, and lots of food deliveries.
My husband and I both work at big law in NYC. I am transactional and he is T&E. We have a 1.5 year old.
It is not easy but you can manage it. We do have a cleaning lady come every two weeks, which helps, and we order groceries rather than food shop. We also send our son to daycare, which I believe provides longer hours (and is more affordable) than a hired nanny. We also like the social interaction that our son has at daycare. Our son’s daycare teacher also brings him home afterwards twice a week and watches him until bed so my husband and I have interrupted work all day (although we do take breaks to see our son).
There are times when we’re both busy and it can get tough. WFH helps A LOT, and you can get a lot done during your work day (ie, throw in a load of wash, empty your dishwasher, etc). Some days seem impossible and some feel like a breeze, but that’s life. I would say try it and if it really isn’t working, then seek other avenues, but do try, especially if the money is good.
I also meant uninterrupted work*
Lots of hired help is the only way. And even then, it’s a struggle because there are a lot of things I don’t want to outsource (like time with my kids) but I have to in order to keep up with this job. My spouse is an academic in CS and in a lot of ways his job demands exceed mine. At some point, everything starts pointing to rolling back my hours and figuring out an exit. Fortunately you can build up a nice financial cushion to help make the next step easier to take.
Housekeeper M-F, if not cleaning service 3x/week, laundry service, meal delivery, private chef or meal kits, landscaping service. Additional nanny / after school tutor to help kids with educational or after school activities.
Also, did you sign a prenup? I would think you would want your own career and Biglaw can set you up well for thar but YMMV. Also, having a busy career yourself may force a more evening out of household duties (or outsourcing) naturally. Something to consider.
Is Big Law worth it is you don’t need the money? No, of course not. I love my firm, but even then I only like my job.
If you are already handling all the home stuff because your partner is too busy to, the only way that’s going to work is if you hire a maid, gardner, au pair, ect. But if your partner’s career is highly enough paid that you don’t need big law money, why deal with that?
Associate 4 seems manageable. What firm are you with?
Lower V100. He’s at a V50 (although not sure ranking matters after a certain point)
You throw money at it: au pair/nanny, cleaning lady, order food, be efficient cooking, etc. I’m not sure sometimes if it wouldn’t be more efficient for my wife not to work, but here we are.
My wife and I were married for 7 years before I got into practice. 5 kids. She’s a stay at home mom and we live solely on my income. It’s a different grind for us because of the high number of kids and the limits of being a single income household
We split household tasks. I require significant flexibility from my firm, which I get. No one cares as long as I hit my hours and don’t commit malpractice. I build in breaks for her as far as vacations and weekends without me or the kids. Constant balancing act because marriages are delicate. I do not recommend it for the selfish or immature.
Great advice above. I’m a lawyer at a V10. Husband has a super demanding non-law job. We have a house manager, youngest in daycare, and oldest in private school. Private school really helps - a ton of after school enrichment-type activities, school sponsored camps during breaks, etc. BUT it’s super expensive. It would be a minor hit on our income if husband stayed at home, and I think we’d all be a lot happier. Then we could do public schools in suburbia, etc. All this to say - it’s tough. And if I had found a SAH spouse, it would have been easier. But alas. I like the guy. And I’m definitely not quitting. So here we are.