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Yeah i feel you. I’m right there with you. If i can share my experience as well, all i remember from 2017 was feeling miserable. I look back and there’s not really many accomplishments i feel too proud of, besides being able to keep my head down and power through work day after day. Quite depressing, but i also have much worse times and worse jobs to reference back to, and i guess that makes me a little proud of where we are. I too moved to a different city for work, and although it hasn’t been great, i have definitely grown and experienced new things that were not available to some of my friends in PA who decided to play the field safe and work closer to home (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
It’s all good, you gotta do what’s right for you. LDR’s take a lot of work to maintain, but if it was truly meant to be, it will be. Just know that you’re doing everything you can at the moment, and that is enough. Is it your job that is making you depressed? Or primarily the fact that your significant other can’t just uproot themselves because of family?
Thanks for sharing your experience PwC 1! Did you end up moving back home afterwards? I feel the same way in terms of only having accomplishments at work and to be honest it’s not as fulfilling as I hoped it to be. It’s awesome that you have your life in a good place now! Even though you had a bad year you came out happy, maybe 2018 will be my bad year before being in a good place. 1000% I’d be a lot happier if I went back home with a stable position.
Reasons. I want to move back home but I feel trapped in this new city. I don’t have enough experience to take a more senior position and ideally I don’t want to take a pay cut and take any random job.. I doubt I’d get promoted to senior in June because I just joined a new group but I will hit 2 years of experience then. Should I just try to hold off until then? Or should I stop living in misery and just move back and be unemployed until I can find something?
Oh i see now, okay. I honestly think moving elsewhere for a new position is quite the experience. Assuming you don’t have anything tying you down at the moment, moving for work is a great and liberating experience. Don’t fight it too much, just let life take you where it may, and you’ll see lots of doors and opportunities open.
PwC 1- thanks for the support, the job is okay but life outside of work isn’t. The primary reason I’ve been feeling really down is because of my significant other not being able to move. I’m also stressed out over the fact that if I decide to move back now I may not be able to find a job first and then be unemployed (which is hear a resume gap is bad).
Yeah i understand. I’d be stressed too if my significant other couldn’t just uproot and leave everything behind. I think what’s important is you determine whether that is a deal breaker for you. I think you need to determine first whether work in the new city is truly where you want to be. If it is, then the true stressor for you is the relationship. If you don’t even want to be in the new city, and just staying there for money sake, solve that first and move to where you’d truly be happy. Then and only then will things fall in place
A resume gap may look awkward, but at the cost of your mental and emotional health, there are PLENTY of reason you can justify that gap (took time off to travel, took time off to find a place you’d love long term, etc etc). There are plenty of legitimate reasons that won’t ultimately hurt you when it comes time to interview for another job. Unless you are in your 40’s and leave your job, and show a 6 month gap of nothing, then that’s a different story. But if you are young, taking a gap right now isn’t the worst thing. My current manager took 2 years off to travel and do some soul searching when he an associate. And that was perfectly fine and legitimate. Hope that helps
At first I was really excited for the new job but I quickly realized that although I’m happy with work overall I’m upset.. and I guess the unhappiness from my life outside of work outweighs everything else. Thanks for the advice regarding a resume gap. I’m quite new to my career so I guess it’s more understandable if i make “mistakes” early on. I try to set a goal and to leave this new city and going back home by the end of the year.. But I’ve been so unhappy everyday I don’t know if I could last..
I too try to manage a relationship, that isn’t exactly LDR, but my girl and i are busy enough that we barely get to see each other, once a week maybe. But, the way i see it, I’m exactly where i need to be. If my relationship, or job, or friendships happen to not all work out, then I’ll let the universe be the way it intends to be! Do you think you’d be a lot happier if you moved back home and was able to find a stable position somewhere there? Or would there still be factors that you wish you could change beyond those?
Oh okay i see yeah thanks for sharing your view point. I’m still at the new city i moved to, part of me wants to move back but another part says that it’s time for me to create a life and story for myself, beyond the comfort of home. Of course, that’s easier for me to say than it would be you, because it’s possible for me to see my significant other on sundays or so. So i completely understand your dilemma. If the person is important to you, and Home is where the heart is at, I’d suggest for you to really put your happiness over a temporary job, even if it is a nice position in a new city for you. Being able to maintain lasting relationships and having the feeling like you belong are super important, as least for me. If moving back is not an option, physically and financially, then maybe sit down with you S/O and see if there are any plans in their future tonuproot and really start a life with you