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There seems to be quite a few people in here looking to join a startup.
We're a mature aerospace impact startup (in Switzerland) pre launch for a new platform to engage and empower passangers in order to accelerate sustainability in aviation. Our product website is www.adaption.me and company website is www.optimaero .ai.
If you're interested in joining us, and you think you have skills that suit our business, you could drop me a speculative application by email at hello@OptimAero.ai.
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Enthusiast
After ~20-30 min on a call, I stop paying attention.
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Rising Star
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I park in handicap spaces
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Yikes! Some days, I just can’t stand my job
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Is she treating you differently because your uncomfortability is coming through or truly acting that way organically? It’s an important distinction.
Chief
Yes, you are being insecure. Only you can fix that.
Also: she’s an adult, so she gets to pick out her own clothes. Them’s the breaks.
To recap, here are things you can work on and exert some control over:
—Your feelings
—Your confidence in yourself and your relationship
Here are things you cannot exert control over:
—Your girlfriend
—Your girlfriend’s clothes
Do note that it’s a common misconception that women always want to look nice for attention, especially male attention. For many women it feels empowering to do you hair/make up and put on a fierce outfit and it’s really just about confidence.
That being said-I don’t think it’s wrong to bring it up to her and express what you are feeling. If it’s causing you stress it’s always worth bringing up. It would make me feel like my attention is not enough if my boyfriend were doing this too and it would hurt if he were not receptive of my feelings. She’s also likely not aware she it making you feel this way.
Chief
As Sc above said, we mostly do it for ourselves and our confidence. My 2c is to not bring this up ith her. The truth is with ldr she could be cheating on you and you would never know, so trust is all you have. If you don't trust her, leave her. If you do, get over your insecurities. Like what do you expect her to do. Dress less pretty?
How do you know she dresses up for attention? Are you assuming that? And does she just seem less engaged because she has plans/busy with things hence the dressing up?? It might help to try to think through the context - why are things happening for reasons not related to YOU :)
Also, there are just personal preferences related to this. I always put on jewelry, do my makeup etc and people threw me shade at the beginning of the pandemic (why are you dressed up for video calls during the pandemic??). But that’s just what I want to do. Has nothing to do with anyone else. Deep down and psychologically maybe I’m trying to please others or get positive recognition or something, who knows! But it’s not that deep.
Long distance isn’t real for one side… ever.
Chief
Lol this is terrible advice
You’re piling too much together for no real reason. Some of it is confirmation bias and some of it is your insecurity.
If I had to bet, she dresses up when she goes out, which is perfectly normal. When she’s going out, that translates into she’s busy and she’s distracted, because she has stuff to do. Throw in the fact if she is out and about she isn’t as attached to her phone for obvious reasons. You’re reading way into this.
She also doesn’t dress up for male attention, she dresses up why most people dress up, it feels good and it’s part of the whole going out for the night situation.
You need to figure your insecurities out because an LDR won’t work if you will get mopey and jealous that she’s living her life and you aren’t.
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To be clear I don’t try to control my SO at all whatsoever. I know it’s a me problem which is why i’m here on this random app as opposed to talking to her about it. Just need to fix myself and deal with m own issues and being in distance / feeling worried about the relationship has just been hard
Sorry you are going through this. It’s good you realize what’s causing you to feel uncomfortable. LDRs are not easy! Do you have enough fun stuff to do for yourself where you live? If she is living it up and you don’t have hobbies/friends etc outside of work it may start to wear on you?
Chief
🤔maybe start dressing up too? Whenever I dress up (Saturday’s) I walk around with BDE.
Chief
🍆🧐
Enthusiast
It’s natural to feel some uneasiness when SO is out and about. It goes both ways, if you guys are meant to be together you will. And down the road you might wish for days when your wife would go out and have fun without you. Enjoy your video games or whatever. Or go to the bar and watch a soccer game. You’ll get through it. I suggest you ask her how her night was, in a genuine way. Let her know you would have liked to have been there and she looked really nice.
Enthusiast
May be she wants more of your attention?
Male validation is something she will take from any man
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YIKESSSSSSS
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Your girl just having her time
Trust your gut. And if you’re gut is telling you she could be cheating, just end it. It’s totally not worth the mental anguish.