"Oh, I know why I don't know that song... It's not Drake."

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Not a millennial^

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“i just fell asleep in the elevator”

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“Who cares if it doesn’t work! You have to sell the vision!”

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I made an announcement during our team meeting that I'll be taking another job offer. My petty boss said, "Well now that we have a little more budget, the rest of you will be getting raises!"

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"I don’t like morning people. Or morning. Or people”

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“What do you guys see...a mouse or a blue screen”

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“I feel like I’m the stupidest person here”
“You are not stupid. You literally work at one of the top consulting firms in the world”
“I literally got a 6% in one exam during undergrad”
“Well damn I guess you are stupid”

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“Fuck it I’m going to PDF this bitch"

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“The copy needs more modern slang young millennials can relate to. It isn’t jiggy enough right now."

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“The shaft is not always welcome, but but hole always is.”

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I was in a meeting, and there was a new attendee, a fellow Asian guy.

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New attendee: “from [city and state]”

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**awkward silence**

New attendee: “from God”

Well… 🫣

If you are an immigrant and people ask you where you are from, how do you usually respond?

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Mhmmmm mhmmmmm yeah. Sure. Mhmmmm. Mhmmmm. Mhmmmmm mhmmm mhmmm. Yeahhhh. Yeaaahhhh. Mmmmhmmmm

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acd: “would you do meth everyday for a year for ten million dollars? you'd be able to choose where you rehab for free and —”

ad: “i’d do it for one million”

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I made a couple errors at a new job. An important document to be distributed had wrong information on it, which was proofread by 2 other people. Then a couple of typos in emails, the person micromanaging me told me to send out but I didn’t fix the errors. Failed to meet a deadline but completed 95%. I was written up over all this last week, fired this week. There’s a lot more to this but I think it’s because the DM doesn’t like me.

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