One of my direct reports got in a blowout argument with an employee on another team who she collaborates with. I’ve spoken to the other employee’s manager, and both have very different recollections of the conversation and both say the other behaved inappropriately and they feel very attacked. Both employees are high performers. How can I show my direct report that I support her while also guiding her to look for areas where she may be in the wrong?

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This is not the time for that. Show support and understanding. Once the event blows over and is forgotten, use the learnings you heard from the other manager to gently guide them on the path to improvement without it being apparent that you are referencing anything about the past scenario

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I would say the immediate issue is to determine that whatever happened is over and the people can continue to collaborate. I'd suggest getting an assurance on that. In terms of showing support, I'd just indicate that you don't know for sure what happened, but things like that shouldn't happen. And advise her to de-escalate if she's provoked again.

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"How can I show my direct report that I support her while also guiding her to look for areas where she may be in the wrong?"

Consider revising the 'right v wrong' point of view. We can't control other people's actions and reactions. Ask her how she might address issues next time to avoid a blowout situation.

Letting it blow over is not a viable option. The folks who were heated will likely hold that frustration unless they're able to express themselves constructively. "Water under the bridge" looks like it's working until the next flood.

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Question would you be asking this if the person was not a high performer? If you say no, then treat this "high performer " the same as you would your worst. You lead a team not only the ones that make you look good, if you can't treat your worst performer the same way you want to treat this associate you will have issues in the long run.

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