When someone not from your team and you don’t work with suggests to grab coffee - how do you determine their intention (professional vs. romantic)? And if you suspect it’s the latter, how do you hint that you are already in a relationship without making it awkward? So far, randomly bringing up my partner mid conversation has been my only tactic and always leads to awkward pauses.

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This happened to me. I got an email asking to have coffee on my week off. I wasn’t sure what the intentions were - the person just wanted to get to know me and we actually forged a good platonic relationship where we help each other now with career aspirations. She was an MD.

Notably, I hate it when people assume that coffee is romantic. If they really wanted something more, wouldn’t they suggest a drink after work over coffee? You could also just say no if you feel uncomfortable overall.

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At work, my first assumption is always it’s probably professional. I was wrong a couple times though and felt awful for not catching on sooner - as if I led them on purposefully. For context, I don’t come off very approachable in general, so maybe that’s why people start with coffee instead of drinks. But I’m trying to be more approachable and form good working relationships, so it’s important for me to catch on sooner than later.

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Maybe find smoother transitions. Ask about their family holiday plans, or weekend plans. You can say your family found some "cool new" whatever to go to, etc.
Sometimes asking if it's a professional or, work friend vs personal friend outing might be best (especially with men, we're straightforward communicators).

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When you get the request, tell them you would be open to having coffee. Also, ask them if they have any specific questions or topics they want to talk about so you can be prepared. Level set at the start.

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It’s been a “thing” for a while for people to go on coffee dates. It’s quick, cheap, and low commitment. Personally, I choose not to go on coffee dates because of this. The way you determine if the intention of this coffee meet is professional is from the energy that the colleague brings to communicating with you. Does this person linger around a little too much. Are they slightly flirty? Do they want to converse more about your personal interests versus your professional interests ? if you feel that strongly, then politely decline a coffee meet. Time is too precious to waste.

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I would pay attention to the "vibe" coming off the person. Are they friendly and open, or are they a bit nervous? Most people, if they are looking for romance, would be a bit on the nervous side. But overall, if unclear, just ask. No harm in learning beforehand. Honesty is the best policy!

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IME every time this happens it is professional

Sounds like a coffee chat, typical way to network in finance

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