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You might want to checked out The Lawyer’s Depression Project -anonymous support groups with a big law presence
Commenting because I need the same advice! 2nd year associate wondering the same thing.
I managed it by leaving. Left biglaw after 2.5 years. YMMV, but 100% the right decision for me.
Similar practice at a firm that focused more on AFAs, which meant less focus on the billable hour. Overall that firm had a better culture (less passive aggressiveness, more team-oriented, better work/life balance - real vacations!) but had its own set of issues, so I started my own practice after 2.5 years at this other firm. Starting my own practice also 100% the right decision for me.
First - realizing booze was a depressant, and cutting it out except for special occasions (like once a month). Second - therapy/meds. Hang in there. Definitely reach out and ask for help. At the end of the day this is just a job, and no one is going to die if something goes wrong. (Source - 5th year big law associate)
First, acknowledging it and its impact on your life is critical. Next, call your local bar association’s mental health referral service. Go to a psychiatrist that can prescribe meds. Finding a psychiatrist who was a former big law associate changed my life. It’s just unfortunate that it took me so long to get the help I needed.
Commenting because I need advice on this as well. It’s getting really hard to manage the day to day