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You are being naive about it. A girl can't see how much of a good guy or how much your family is loving. There are no parameters to measure that. In arrange marriage, they will seek out things they can control like money, house or job.
If you want otherwise, you stop looking for a girl in arrange marriage and focus on dating & build a relationship. Don't ask for instant gratification.
I'm not looking for instant gratification. It is pertinent to point out that marriages were happening before this generation as well but now people are just money minded including parents!! People don't feel the need to look for an interpersonal connection if the package is not as per their unrealistic expectations. No one believes in building things together, they just want to enjoy ups of life. No wonder suicides and divorces are increasing due to unrealistic expectations and inability to manage the downs of life.
Wait whatttttt!!!
I as a woman have experienced entirely different things.
In snapshot, during my now over 3+ yrs of js journey:
1. Prospective groom's family demanding money
2. While there have been cases where we both agreed to take things forward and emotional feelings grew, due to family asking for dowry, the boy couldn't even say to his family it was wrong ... clearly spineless ( and these are the families, who do not even own a car or a house, and they ask for dowry! Boy! On what basis?? Your son earns, I earn more )
3. In early stages of 1-2 meeting, boy not showing seriousness as to what he wants, he simply doesn't know or gets too scared when it comes to a lifetime of commitment.
And before any of you judge me, no, I never asked to stay separately from family, majority of the cases where boy earns lesser than me, never looked for a boy's house or car,I am passionate about cooking, I have a renowned college MBA...and honestly, in terms of demands, it has been soft skills and decently educated
One thing that I have observed in men are they want just a lady to clean their houses and cook their meals , they all want to have a supportive relationship, but would not understand the fact that relationship is an equal thing, we are expected to earn , work same hours and then come and be supportive , in general people write , a partner who will be supportive in my lows and who can manage a family as well as career , heads up , we are struggling too ! Most men are not serious at all for building a relationship, one small problem and you are a feminist , even decent girls are being labled as papa ki Pari, people are not seeing times have changed, we want an equal relationship now , we work hard as well and responsibilities need to be shared , and if you are not taking dowry it's not something to be proud of , it's a bare minimum thing there are so many things that needs to be changed in Indian marriage setup
Guys and girls please let me know your thoughts, coz I feel like we are doomed bcz of this excessive influence of the western culture. We are somehow loosing the way people used to perceive love and care in marriage but measuring everything in money.
True bro, I am in same boat
Are you not looking for a pretty girl.
Are u meeting a normal looking girl or rejecting by looking at profile.
Good looking girls will mostly ask for higher salary, coz they can get. Good salary guys will ask for pretty girls, coz they can get.
That's the law of AM.
Don't take it personally, it's their preference not a personal comment on you
AM is a marketplace, you can't see what's inside the person - Good Heart, Good Attitude, Helpful, Caring etc etc..
So you base your first shortlist based on looks, salary, family wealth and decide
It's the reality! It is what it is.
Seriously we are doomed.