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Be friendly during work hours, and busy after work hours.
🤣✌🏿 time to seek employment elsewhere. Don't fall for the brainwashing. Families usually don't gaslight you or kick you out of the house without notice.
Employees are tax deductions, we are line items on a balance sheet. Please act accordingly. 🤣
Being friendly doesn't have to mean being friends. Only thing a job offers is a consistent paycheck, anything else is trivia.
Associate 12 - Pithy & resonant. We could form a support group for Attorneys Whose Families Are Beyond Crazy & Only Want Them for The Checks They Cut Them — but (a) The major venues in this city book years ahead of time; (b) Am so sick of my family I cannot bear discussing them; and (c) I’m feeling too misanthropic to join even a group I help found.
Besides, these days I’m really active in The Sarcasm Society. Like we care if you join.
I’m just like you, and I frankly don’t care. I have no interest in being partner. I’m friendly enough to do my job and have people trust me, but I don’t want to go to the bar with these people. It was much easier tog et out of things I didn’t want to do when I had a dog. “Sorry… gotta go let the dog out.”
SCC1 because then someone might ask me for photos and all I have are old photos!
Is your boss Michael Scott?
99% of success in life is showing up. Just show up. You might like it. "One big happy family" is much better than back-stabbing jamboree.
That's not universal you know.
Just paint this picture among your coworkers in everyday conversation… “btw I have to meet abc or go to xyz today or this weekend…” This will create an impression that you have loads to do after work… but don’t make it seem like you are intentionally doing it to escape after work meetups… make it seem like you can’t help it.
I hate that kind of social event too, but there is a balance to be struck. The object of those get-togethers is to foster a cohesive team, because outside the office people relax and learn more about the human side of their co-workers. You should go to some of them, at least to show a degree of willing. Have you been to any yet at all?
The problem with this mindset is that it is often used as a proxy for how you’ll interact with clients. If you can’t show up for your co-workers in a social settings, how will they trust you with business development with clients. Hate to break it to you, but the quality of work you produce is only half the equation.
Well said. As a natural extrovert, I was the lawyer often mixing drinks at bar night (which we used to have in my big law firm most Thursdays). My office in NYC had 250 lawyers back then, and though not all of us showed up I always did (given the fact I also like to drink). When I was younger it was a very worthwhile way to get to know people who pushed a lot of work my way. And I agree that I was often put in front of clients when more senior people who ducked out weren’t.
My manager is the same. Annoys the hell out me.
Story of my life. My coworkers take that “we’re like a family” stuff seriously and I hate it. Probably won’t last in this group for long
Are you me?
Just a comment to say I appreciate this honesty.
Dumbest shit about our return to office is mgmt thinks being friends with each other keeps us here and from joining a competitor. No, the ability to spend time with my family and have my coworkers respect that so long as client needs are met is what made me value my firm. Now I'm just doing it for the paycheck to hold out until better days.
We need ppl like you—pls stay and bill a zillion hours every year doing great work—would actually rather not have a beer with you either :)
I can relate with you. However, I adopted the “One Drink Rule”, meaning that I leave the work happy hour once I’m done with my cocktail/beer, and most times folks won’t notice and or be pressed about the absence. They’ll remember that I was at least present!
Literally go every 1 out of 3 times. Makes you look like you care but also means you don’t have to show up every week.
Being friendly has benefits beyond a good work place culture but also pecuniary benefits… unless your boss has zero social skills or is a narcissist. Then who gives a duck.
Coach
I don’t know. Narcissists can be pretty fun. Just know what you’re getting in to!
Feel the same way, but then again, I'm an introvert who would rather chill w fam or alone after work.
Love yourself and show up if you can, then leave when you want. Be happy. If you would rather meditate or go to Yoga or take a walk, then invite them.
If you really can't bare the thought of being with them after work, then maybe look for another job if they can't understand your need to be alone.
Huh, I used to schedule happy hours for coworkers, and I would schedule it an hour or two before 5 so folks could make it to their trains back when I worked downtown. Folks always showed up, and seemed to enjoy it. Now I am second guessing all the times when someone couldn’t make it, whether they were hating me for organizing lol.
Do what makes you happy, if a group of people makes you happy, who cares where you spend time with them, but if you want a less social work culture find something else I guess 🤷♂️
I’m the same way. Hate happy hours. I’m ok talking during work hours but, really don’t have a need to talk outside of work hours.