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Bowl Leader
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I’m bipolar and was struggling with a bad mood swing. Was hitting the bottle really hard. My last week of drinking I’d finished a bottle of bourbon early in the week and a half a bottle of wine, and then on Friday I ordered a bottle of bourbon to my house.
My mom saw me pick it up and was like “you need help, you need to do AA, this is a big problem.” And my wife said the same thing. I ended up finishing that bottle by Sunday plus a bit more from another bottle.
On Monday I had a call with my psychiatrist after work and told her what was going on and she was like “you need substance abuse counseling and to stop drinking. I can’t treat you properly if you’re drinking this much.” I agreed and called my wife and told her to hide/dump my liquor (I told her to hide my bottle of Pappy Van Winkle since that’s like $2k). I attended my first AA meeting that night.
Been sober over a month now and it’s a struggle but I’m doing it. I also work on it in my weekly therapy sessions and my therapist is a massive support. My wife and mom and siblings have been incredibly supportive as well.
Congratulations*
My own personal D Day - the day my SO discovered what was going on.
I was pulled over and arrested for a DUI. It was the absolute lowest point in my adult life. I'm grateful it happened, though, because it was the wakeup call I needed to finally get my act together.
Rising Star
I did a lot worse things that could be considered my "bottom" over my 15 years of trying to go lower. But I kept on going. My last 3-4 months of drinking were a long drawn out miserable bottom. I had constant suicidal ideation, and either wanted to drink myself to death or blow my brains out. I COULD NOT drink enough to get relief. Half a gallon of vodka a night wouldn't even black me out. I was leading a separate life to hide my drinking from my partner and work. It was exhausting. The last straw was a typical weekend. Started drinking at noon on Friday. Drank all day Saturday. Had a party Saturday night. But Sunday, I was not going to drink Sunday. I had a date night that night with my partner, I had an important presentation Monday morning, and I had some stuff I needed to do in order to keep the wheels on the bus. By 10 am Sunday, I was drinking again. Drank all day. That night I accidentally sent an email to my entire company at 2am (10,000+ people) and then I was too hungover for work Monday. In one 24 hour period I mismanaged my love life, professional life, and personal life. And that was it. I already knew I was powerless over alcohol but I had no choice but to admit my life had become unmanageable. Folks on this bowl 3 days later convinced me to go to a meeting and helped me get there. My life is completely different now. I know the emotion of "joy" which was a previously inaccessible emotion. Life is pleasant and manageable.
Was in danger of losing my job thanks to my drinking, had a final talk about performance with my boss and realized I needed to quit drinking or I'd lose my job, but by that point I couldn't function at all without alcohol. So I decided it would be a great idea to work high instead of drunk. That worked okay for about a week. But the drugs made me super paranoid. I went into the office high, someone made a joke and mimed punching at me and I had a paranoid freak out and discharged a weapon in my workplace. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Obviously I lost that job. I'm lucky I didn't get arrested.
Thanks, yup definitely in the top 10 most humiliating moments of my life. But I've moved on l'm employed and been sober for 400+ days.
I had some pretty low bottoms, but when I became suicidal, I knew deep down I needed to stop. I wanted to die but didn't want to die. That's when I finally took the program of AA seriously.
Rising Star
Same!
Rising Star
The particulars don't really matter, everyone is very different. I like what is frequently said in AA: I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. That and the realization I was powerless over alcohol. I absolutely could not control my drinking like a "normal" person.
That said, I think there is merit in hearing our fellow’s story because there are elements we can identify with and that help us stay sober. Perhaps the continual realization that - *We are all different, yet we are all the same*.
I drove home after drinking one too many and honestly shouldn’t have and felt so much shame/guilt afterward. I have a career and kids and could have lost it all right there if I got pulled over or got into an accident.
I lost my car for like 5 days, I found it but had left a window down and it snowed. Snow plows went by so road grime, salt, slush mix was everywhere and shorted the buttons for my radio/cd player to where it was stuck on espn radio for about a week until it switched to playing a Chuck Berry CD (good album, I’ve memorized my Ding-A-Ling). Also had my brand new set of golf clubs in the trunk that were a gift from my parents, knowing I was that careless when I drink has gotten me to almost 60 days
I hate hangovers.
This is what did it for me too. I was tired of feeling like crap and also I gained so much weight from alcohol that I knew something needed to change. I was drinking to cope so I learned new coping mechanisms and haven't drank since.
My buddy almost died in a car crash after drink driving. He went sober immediately
Bowl Leader
My father had just been killed in a car accident and when I stumbled into AA a month later I had no more fight left in me. I was spiritually shattered, even though I considered myself agnostic at the time.