I've been told that leadership have noticed I don't stick around for after work drinks and feel I'm not a team player.

I don't drink, we don't get paid to be there overtime, and I would rather use my non working time to work on my business/spend time with friends/to to the gym, read, etc (aka have a life outside of work).

How do I communicate that in a diplomatic way?

likesmart
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The sad reality is, you have to suck it up and attend once in a while. Otherwise that’ll be the narrative that develops about you and you’ll start getting even more feedback around a lack of engagement. Been there and i feel for you.

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Frame some stock pictures of random babies and place them on your desk. You’re a new father and have family commitments. Maybe that’ll buy you some grace.

likefunnyhelpful

I love this idea! I have 3 little ragamuffins that you can take to the park as uncle CD; take all the group photos you like! My wife and I could use a few hours of time without kids! 😏

funnysmart
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Show up, have a water, swap a few stories and slip out as they’re in the middle of their 2nd round. They’ll never remember you left early, but they clearly see you never show up.

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I suggest planning something to do at the office with the team. Have a potluck, or just have something catered one day and stay at the office a few hours to socialize, play some music, and laugh a bit before going home. I'm an introvert, and situations like those burn me out quickly. But, I also understand that in an office environment, it's expected. Especially from somebody in your position. Keep it at the office and let them bring their own beverages if it's allowed.

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Ask if they are willing to give you equity in the company and/or profit sharing. When they inevitably decline, say "well it sounds like unlike y'all "leaders" I have no clear reason to spend my free, uncompensated time with the team. Peace and Out."

Don’t do this.

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Same shit happened to me and I just made things up like I’m allergic to alcohol, and have doctor’s appointments to attend to, etc.

One of my colleagues likes to invest in what he calls “high visibility low effort” work moments, like hosting a staff meeting or helping with an owned social media post for the agency. That’s the kind of stuff you need to do (during working hours!)

Just say something funny like I turn into a pumpkin at 5. I turn into Donald Trump who doesn’t drink.

This is why I love remote work. None of that extra stuff

And that’s also why dentsu pays as terribly as it does

Tell them to go to the gym with you..lol

Yeah I get it. I don’t drink either and worked on booze for half my career but would still go and get a soda or Shirley temple. If I was a CD I wouldn’t even bother but felt like I had to at the time.

I appreciate the invitation to join the team for drinks after work. However, I have other commitments outside of work that I need to attend to, including maintaining my health and wellness. While I'm dedicated to my role and value being part of this team, I need to prioritize my work-life balance. I hope you can understand and respect my decision.

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