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Hi Guys, I am 5.5 years Java Developer and I have offer from JPMorgan Chase and Walmart .
Jpmc: 50% on current fixed + jpmc benefits Walmrat: 50% on current fixed + yearly bonus + stocks.
Please help me choose which will be better, mainly looking for brand value, work life balance and yearly hikes.
My boyfriend just found my vibe...
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Everything always takes me so long to do :/
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Hire a cleaning lady. The amount of time and energy it saves me to pay someone else to clean my home absolutely outweighs the cost for me.
I feel this is so hard. It’s become impossible to keep up with maintaining my apartment. I am going to hire someone to come in and clean. I always thought that was so indulgent, but I legitimately don’t have the time. My job has gotten so busy, plus I’m pregnant. Once the baby comes I’ll NEVER have time. I think it will help a lot with my peace of mind.
I don’t know who needs to hear this (probably not just the poster) but it’s ok to hire help. Ask around. Your coworkers probably have references because this is a common issue. My spouse struggled with the idea for a long time and I finally demanded it when I took a busier higher paying job. (my family always had a maid service growing up and were by no means wealthy. My mom was a professional with little time, and my dad was pretty traditional in the sense that he wasn’t going to do it; he did yard work. My spouse did not have this and thought it was weird for a long time). We were about the last of my law school crowd to do so.
You're not alone. I absolutely cannot clean on the weekdays. If I even do have the time I'd rather spend it relaxing/decompressing. When I'm busy I hire help. I have a laundry service too. My friends think I'm crazy spending so much money per month for just laundry but I would be drowning in piles of dirty clothes if I didn't use it
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Agree with comments about hiring cleaning help; that has really helped me despite resistance from my husband. In terms of picking up, I struggle with that too. One thing that has helped is as soon as I walk in the door or shut off my laptop when wfh, I jump to my chores - no sitting down, no snack, just get right to it after the work day ends. It helps to remind yourself that it’s small tasks, won’t take longer than 15 minutes, and you’ll feel better after doing it.
Has anyone else ever had this issue? Wondering if I’m just always going to have this issue until I switch jobs because they are right or if they are not understanding to my situation?
Thanks all! I really appreciate the thoughts on cleaning! What about thoughts on the relationship? Did your partner make you feel like shit before you hired someone? Is that normal? I’m also trying to gauge how much of the problem is me versus the arguments we have where it feels like they’re trying to bring me down and make me feel bad about myself rather than focusing on solutions for us as a couple. It’s super exhausting too
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I really don’t mean to gaslight you here but am genuinely asking bc I have struggled with misinterpreting my partners feedback before - are they really putting you down or are they constructively telling you this is a problem that you need to work on?
If they really are putting you down (e.g., saying you’re such a messy person, stop being lazy, why can’t you just pull your weight), I would say this to them: I know you value a clean home, and I do too. This is something I really struggle with that I’m actively trying to fix, and I appreciate you pushing me to do better. It’s not constructive for me though when you say things like [insert rude comments here]. When you say those things, it makes me feel even worse than I already do. I’m not making excuses for needing to pull my weight, but could you approach this issue in a more loving way? I think that could help motivate me more than by you putting me down, which I know is not your intent but that is how it comes across. Do you think what I’m asking for is reasonable?
I’m also curious to know, is your partner a fellow adhd’er? We are notoriously hard on ourselves, and in turn, others. My partner is a fellow adhd’er and I’ve done therapy, but they have not… so I tend to be the more compassionate one and am slowly teaching them how to be more constructive during disagreements.
Good luck!
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I say hire someone. I hire a housekeeper to come once every 2 weeks. I don’t want her to see I really live 😳 so it’s a mad dash to put things away before she comes for her 2 hours. She only does whatever she can get done in 2 hours, so it motivates me to clean the same time every 2 weeks and to keep it somewhat clean before she comes because I’d prefer to have the entire house clean by the time she leaves.
I’ve also heard some people do body doubling where they use one of those websites like Focus Mate where one person is doing a task they don’t want to do while you also do a task you don’t want to do. Some watch those home cleaning videos on YouTube while they clean which is in a way body doubling.
Others will do things like put something in the oven and rush to see what they can clean during the 30 minutes that thing is in the oven cooking or while they’re waiting on their DoorDash delivery.
I still say once a week cleaning is the way to go and is worth the time and money. It will feel less overwhelming for you to clean and maintain the house in between cleaning appointments so you’re more likely to clean. Plus it’s built in accountability. I’m always far more likely to do something when I know someone is counting on me or it’s more of an emergency.