My boss has a short fuse and trouble regulating his emotions. Stood up to him for the first time recently and it irked him. Worried he might retaliate. Any advice on how to handle?

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Keep a detailed log of everything this AH does and says to you. No joke. Keep emails too. And if you can record conversations on the DL on your phone whenever you speak to him, do it.

It doesn’t matter if the recordings are legally admissible. The fact that you have recorded proof of this AH in action automatically gives you a leg up if HR tries to back him up and lay you off. HR is never your friend.

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I think you and I worked for the same person

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Are his initials JG? Cuz we had the same boss.

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What state are you in? If f it’s a state that only requires one party consent start recording them until you have enough leverage. Then go to HR. What are they going to do? Let you go? That’s an even bigger PR issue for them.

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I had a female boss like that (I’m female too so please don’t come for me. I’m not being antifeminist) before.

For instance, she didn’t make it clear that my team counterpart and I were supposed to still be doing a specific task even though she said a new project was the priority. The new project/tasks were taking up most of our work time so we assumed that the previous task was being put on the back burner. Then she got a talking to about that task not being completed then yelled at us about it. I calmly said to her, “How we were supposed to still being doing that when the new project takes most of the time? You said that was the priority.” And she said I was being insubordinate and rude.

No, she just didn’t know how to be a manager— couldn’t effectively delegate tasks, communicate priorities, etc. Eventually I had to quit because it was too toxic of an environment.

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Too bad you can't pass along a few psychiatrists business cards and recommend that he be placed on a mood stabilizer.

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Keep defining your boundaries. Don’t look at it as “standing up to him”. That sounds defiant and a recipe for future clashes.

You should understand that you’re not his emotional bunching bag and he needs to understand that how he communicates with you is not effective or conducive to the work environment. You’re there to complete the job and so is he.

If he can’t get it together and it keeps interrupting your work relationship, then it’s time to give him an ultimatum if he values you at the company.

Disrespect should never be tolerated. No matter what title you hold.

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Document everything!! Every moment. Also talk to your coworkers. It’s likely not the only time. Be smart about your reactions. HR doesn’t care about you, they care about the company. So you care about you

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We need initials

Now that you’ve done it, you can never back down. They will respect the consistency. However, they will not stop communicating the way they do. Now they’ve brought you into their style which will feel justified to them.

OK but have you tried agreeing with him all the time?

Having just taken a 2 hour harassment onboarding course- retaliation was about 25% of the whole course because of how common it can be and how much of a no-no it is.

If they do in anyway go to HR they have to do an investigation legally.

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