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a Middle School Special Education Teacher
I was just offered a CUNY role. The title is Higher Education Assistant. According to Glassdoor, the average annual pay for that role is $83,418. However, I was offered $62,500. I requested for the minimum annual salary to be 75k. Does anyone have experience navigating the CUNY system and their pay?
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It’s Fry Day!!!!!!!!!!!
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Chief
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Based on this, whenever she says "respect my wishes" you should show her a mirror
A mirror would mean she is telling herself that she should respect her wishes.. She absolutely does that 😁
Rising Star
Is it a time management thing? Is she someone who’s strict on time and maybe you’re more relaxed so she feels like you’re not “respecting her time”
Rising Star
F here - your girlfriend sounds self-centered and high maintenance.
We don’t know the context, but I’m not sure why she wouldn’t just go to the concert without you or go grab the coffee she wanted without you. Seems like an easy solve to me.
“Respect my wishes” doesn’t mean “do everything I say.”
My husband wants me to check in every day that I travel for work - me respecting his wishes is sending him a text or calling him every day, even when busy. My husband also watches a lot of sports - which I don’t particularly like. If he said I had to “respect his wishes” by watching every single football and baseball game he wanted to watch, I would tell him to go pound sand.
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… earlier as she said. And she said again that I need to respect her.
I asked her what respect means to her and she said idk. I said that it means feelings are heard and opinions and thoughts are taken into account without judgement for me. Then she said I do respect her, but I need to respect her wishes. Does that mean I have to do whatever she says??
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She sounds emotionally abusive, I say this as a woman
Knowing zero context other than this thread, she sounds immature and not very self aware. But if I read between the lines a touch and give her the benefit of the doubt, it sounds like maybe you typically run late/on your own time schedule or might speak for/over her on occasion. Hard to tell without knowing you both.
Rising Star
Your girlfriend is confused, not you. Respecting someone’s wishes means respecting their autonomy, not catering to their every will and want. When my wife asks me to respect her wishes, it’s usually in the context of saying she doesn’t want to go to an event or gathering and doesn’t feel like giving a reason. If she’s asking me to go to something with her, that’s called a favor.
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Pick your battles that’s all! No point in arguing about these small things just let her have the win will make you life much easier (speaking from experience) 😂
No point in arguing about it... But it's totally okay that his gf is doing it? This sort of behavior is indicative of larger character issues and it's gonna bite OP in the butt if he thinks it's a one-off, isolated thing.
Arguing is totally fine, but using "respect my wishes" is so immature and doesn't say anything other than "just do as I say".
It sounds like you don't plan ahead for anything and want to show up last minute or late without thinking about the consequences. This means you don't respect her or think about her time.
Also means you both have to compromise, if you want to be late to everything I dont see it working out.
Please dump her already. It will never get better. I'm a woman and this is exactly what I'd tell my brother.
Chief
It means compromise and it goes both way.
Pro
She's probably PMS'ing, just learn the times and stay away.
Chief
Can you give more context into the arguments? What wishes did she feel weren’t respected? Did you speak to her in a way that could be perceived as condescending?
"Your wish is my command" GF expectations.
Its like a universal law maybe 😂
Pro
Hard to tell without context. BOTH of should should work to support each other and compromise. One technique used in counseling couples is to REQUIRE that every decision have to be unanimously agreed to. Not like if you should tie your shoes but anything that affects you both. That could even be when you decide to go to bed. It shifts your perspective toward thinking of “we” rather than “me”. It’s only an exercise that lasts a month or so. Seems like this would apply to you two. That said, couples counseling early in a marriage can address lots of problems down the road. Speaking from experience, with counseling and MANY years of now-happy marriage.
She is gaslighting you. When she doesn’t get her way she is turning it around and trying to make you feel like you did something wrong. RUN.
Rising Star
I think you are being overly dramatic. There is no right or wrong in a relationship. There is patience - these are small things.
Some of us are more OCD, some more ADHD, some a combo, some have mood swings, some are having that time of the month.
If it's a good relationship, you guys get along, care for one another etc... let the small stuff slide.
Better than pick you battles, pick what you care about. If she says you don't respect her, just say "of course I do" and move on - change topic. Don't make it a thing.