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10! I call her a couple times a day usually, when I have random news or things that happened in my day (good things)
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I love it hehe
Honestly, 15! She was my soulmate, she died in 2015 and I miss her everyday. I would start and end my day talking to her. I wish she was here now..
and I’m so sorry you lost you mother. Know that she continues to live in you and your thoughts and actions!
really this many people are 5 or higher? I guess it makes sense having good parents sets you up for success.
Just depressing to visualize.
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I wonder if most of those 10s are males
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Above 10.
She gave me birth and almost died doing it.
I am her caregiver and I am bound to the promise I made to my father when I was a 8 years old toddler. There is no applicable scale to me.
That’s just as simple as that, so yes, way above ten because she simply doesn’t fit to a scale or to any scale in my eyes.
Btw, I am M.
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@S1: let me see myself as a toddler at that age :)
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10. God made her to be a mother and she takes the role seriously. She has sacrificed so much for my siblings and I and still does, even though we are adults. If I cough she catches the cold. I hope to be at least half the mother she was to me. I do not deserve her.
Yes, you DO deserve her. Remember that 🥰
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10, but wasn’t always that way. It’s one of the most important things to me, that we were able to forgive each other and build an adult relationship like this. I love my mom so much 😭
This thread is going to give heart attack to folks who culturally associate themselves to south asians countries. from where i come from mothers are 11 uninamously
@AM1 south Asian here and i couldn't agree more.
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Blessss all these comments with a 10! I couldn’t even imagine. I talk to my mother every day, cause she needs to know if I’m home and what I ate. But any topic outside of those ends in a fight, so imma say a 2-3 🙃.
0. Been estranged for 8+ years. The worst part is I still love her, but her BPD was off the charts. She was trying to create division between my daughter and I, wanted to be supported completely like a child, and it got to a point where I was legitimately concerned she would try to hurt us. I’m not even mad, just sad that it has to be like this. If there is an afterlife, I hope to meet her again, unencumbered by mental health issues.
For any daughters in here:
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers https://a.co/d/dcL3EtR
I started reading it and the first couple of pages already got me. It explains a lot.
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Sending you strength!
M- 1
I have a narcissistic mother who prevented me for having friends or girlfriends until my 20's.
No one was ever good enough, all losers whom I should have no contact. For the girls they were always whores (even for the church girls)
She was always projecting guilt on me, followed by a daily routine of physical and psychological abuse.
I spend almost my entire life waiting for her to change and be a good mother. It was only after my father passed away that I learned she is narcissistic that have no feelings for anyone but herself.
She hates any sort of success I might have (jealousy or, most probably, she hates the fact that I don't depend on her for nothing), while she claims to be the one to be praised for all the achievements of my life.
I force myself to no hate her but the trauma, the physical and psychological scars are there remembering me of those dark times.
Today I am fine. I keep a huge distance from her and I followed on with my life.
I noticed too after my step dad passed. That’s when the abuse was directed at me.
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Ranges between 7 and 9
Hoping to get to 10 because it’s the most important relationship after God
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Okay I don’t believe in god but the people who laughed are diiiiicks yikes
0, bad mental health issues and she got in loads of debt and wanted me to pay for them.
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I would like it to be 0, but I guess I’ll give it a 1. I reluctantly communicate with her after cutting her off multiple times in my life as she is extremely toxic (textbook narcissist with most likely some other mental illnesses she will never seek help over) manipulative, negative, gaslighting etc. As I got older and started working on myself I realized how much emotional abuse I endured from her and how this impacted my life, growth, and interpersonal relationships.
I’m so sick of the whole “your relationship will get better when you get older” and it just never did. Family members are also people and no one is obligated to keep anyone in their lives who negatively impact them.
I always wished I could have a close relationship like my other friends and their moms/parent in general. And no matter how hard I try to let her in it’s always the same 🗑
Hugs to everyone else sharing their stories and not being able to have a close relationship with their mom.
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When she was alive, a solid 15. Hilarious, wise, emotionally intelligent. Truly one of the greatest all around humans I've ever met and many others would say the same (I don't know too many people who would not only let Mormons/ Jehovah Witnesses into their home, but also make sure they were well fed before they left, just out of genuine kindness😄).
We talked at minimum once a day about any and everything. She was my person- I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that there was nothing I could do or say that would make her stop loving me. Not a day goes by that a part of my soul doesn't wish to be with my best friend😭❤.
Female and 10 ++++++. My mom and I are best friends. I can tell her practically anything. She raised me as a single mom so it was us against the world. She's my #1 supporter and I'm hers.
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That’s how I feel about mine! The EXACT same way!
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2. She's probably a narcissist. I grew up without parental love from her, only belittlement and blame. The emotional neglect had left me with a burden that will take me a lifetime to unpack. To this day, in my 30's, it still makes me uncomfortable to say "I love you" to her, and it always has.
She got it from her mother, my grandma, who is arguably even more narcissistic than she is.
I maintain contact with her and pretend to get along with her to avoid bad family dynamics. But it's all a show. I hope to break the generational cycle of emotional neglect when I have kids.
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Generational trauma can be so tough. I hear you! ❤️
Chief
10!
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5? Or a 6 at best? This is only after a lot of therapy for childhood trauma and this is as close as we’ll ever be. We have a relationship that works for us and will never be besties but that’s totally okay for us.
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10!! Great woman - we party together 💃
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F 0
Boarding school & Nannies most of my life. The times she has been there, toxic AF. For my mental well-being, best we have zero relationship/contact
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5 at best