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Do you ever think that this is a futile process?
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Acceptance is the answer.
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Pause. Breathe. Proceed.
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I tend to agree with your statements.
I’ve come to believe that my alcoholism definitely stems from the dysfunctional family in which I was raised. I even started a whole ‘nother 12-step program called ACA to help address these issues.
The longer I am sober, the more clearly I see that none of it was my parents' fault or a function of environment, all of my problems have always stemmed from having an overactive and highly selfish and self-centered mind.
It's been years since I've obsessed about alcohol thank God, yet still today, I can find myself having an unhealthy obsession for food, porn, physical appearance, money, cars, etc. When I try and rid myself of these excesses, it feels very much like early sobriety, just without the hangover. Even with the willingness, I yet again see how powerless I am. Only when I begim to apply the principles of AA and work to enlarge my conscious contact with my higher power am I able to find relief from these obsessions.
All that having been said, I do still have the allergy, and I fully understand that the obsession flr alcohol would rear its ugly four-horsed head the moment I made the decision to take a drink.
Really well articulated. I think that the longer you are sober, the less and less you think of your own problems as the result of anyone else and begin to take full accountability for how you've behaved. it doesn't mean that you can't view it as a symptom of larger issues, of course, but it means that you don't think of it as a symptom of anything else besides your own sickness. I appreciate this insight
Big book says, “ our liquor was only a symptom, so we had to get down to causes and conditions.”
This statement, taken out if context, lead me to drink again. After all, if I fixed the root cause I can drink like a gentleman, correct?
The answer is no, but relapse is part of my story and I am lucky to be sober today.
Yeah it says this in the big book. Text book alcoholic thought
Yes. AA helped me understand it so I can work to fix it.
Lots of people are screwed up from there parents but they’re not alcoholic. I drove myself crazy trying to “figure out why I drank so much” but it wasn’t until I got to AA I learned two things make me an alcoholic.
I have a physical allergy to alcohol where when I take a drink, I start craving more and struggle to control how much I drink. And two, I have (had) a mental obsession where no matter how much I didn’t want to drink again, I’d still pick up a drink.
That’s it.
Although the BB calls out physical allergy and mental obsession, it doesn’t explicitly call out “spiritual malady”…perhaps because that’s much of the population…however the 12th step clearly structures that spiritual awakening comes about as a result of these steps…thoughts?
OP I agree with everything that you have said here. I drank for the exact same reason. I felt like it numbed pain that I was trying not to feel and helped me to forget the problems I was having. I realize now that it only delayed facing those problems and feeling those emotions but AA is really what helped me to realize all of that about myself.