Work friends are great, but is it dumb to get too close? What happens if one of us leaves or gets promoted?

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Yes, always keep somewhat of a wall. Don’t share too much about your private life or work life (performance evaluations, dealing with you manager). What feels like a good friendship in the moment may not translate to a friendship once you don’t work at the same place. Certainly there are friendships that are meaningful and go beyond the workplace but I think it’s always because to think of work colleagues as acquaintances. When it comes to work, everyone should take care of themselves only, so what happens if your “friend” has the opportunity to throw you under the bus for their gain?

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I am fun but OP sounded cautious so I’m not going to sugarcoat things I’ve experienced or witnessed happen to other people over a 20+ year career. Who are you to discount my experience just because you don’t agree with it? I have friends from all my companies I’ve worked for- I’ve been to their weddings, I’ve been there reference. What isn’t fun is being a dick to people on the internet. If you can’t process differences of opinion like a mature adult then perhaps a public forum of discourse is not the right place for you. Also, why be a dick to just me? Other people are saying similar sentiments as mine.

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Some of my absolute best friends today are people I met initially as coworkers. Making friends as an adult is hard! I don’t think I’d ever write off every single coworker from potentially becoming a real friend. I do feel it takes a bit longer with coworkers to cross over into legit friendship and that you do have to be a bit more careful in the beginning to not share too much, but, I absolutely think coworkers can become amazing friends. That said, I’m always surprised when I leave a job and then have a get together to catch-up with a former coworker and realize that we have absolutely nothing to talk about once we don’t have work to discuss. You find out pretty quickly who is actually a FRIEND and who was just a coworker you got along well with 😂

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Do what you want. I still have friends from jobs 25 years ago.

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This is a common thread here - today’s work friends are yesterday’s college/uni friends are the day before school friends. They’re just as likely to screw you over as the others.

Choose carefully, accept that some of them will be dicks, but know that others will be amazing friends.

21 years since I finished undergrad, my top six (non-spouse, family, kid related) message threads are 1 school friend, 1 current colleague and 4 former colleagues. If it weren’t for people I know at work, I’m not sure I’d really have any good friends.

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what happened when you left your friends from college?

It depends. Could you be friends with said person if you both didn’t have a job/company in common?

I’m sort of close with my co workers but I cant see myself hanging out outside of work or talking after hours.

But if you do do that, i’d make it clear that’s both parties know what’s going on. Otherwise, one could interpret it as harassment or something.

Friends are great even if they're not lifelong. I think trying to be strategic with your friendships sounds sad.

Making friends at work is good and can often work in your benefit. Yes it may backfire if you are a poor judge of character but be prepared for that. As for one of you getting promoted, that's not a problem if you are both emotionally intelligent. I had my friend promoted at work before and I adapted quickly. at work he was my boss outside work it was as before

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