Hi all, I'd love to get advice from the bowl about the best way to address microaggressions at work? For example people not bothering to say my name correctly after I've told them, or a seeming trend that I get cuff off in meetings. When is it enough to say something and how?

likefunny
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How important is the situation? Does it impact your work or that of others? If so, talk to that person's immediate supervisor. If it is just aggravating, consider the source and show tolerance and restraint. Confronting a co-worker if a big step, so make sure it is worth the drama and fallout before you take it.

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1. Learn to gently nudge / coach people while showing compassion
2. Learn to manage your own emotions so you don’t get frustrated or distracted by this, since that is generally counter-productive.

IMO none of these are things HR can do much if anything about.

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And one more follow up… if you complain about small things like this, it can be really damaging. I’ve had coworkers whose name I just couldn’t get right and I was super embarrassed. When they acted offended, and I felt I couldn’t make them happy, I found myself preferring to avoid interacting with them and saying their name at all costs, which is terrible for their career.

Sometimes you need to be accommodating and let things slide to work productively in a diverse workplace.

Are you their boss? If so then that’s easy you have the authority and they should respect that. If you’re not their boss then I would consider talking with their boss about it.

Really depends on your relationship with that person. If you are comfortable enough to say something directly to them, that will be the most effective thing you can do.

You can do this with humor- maybe intentionally butcher their name when they mis pronounce yours (in a joking way, of course 😉) and saying something like "slow your roll, bro! I'm not done yet!" (With a smile) when spoken over.

You can also be more direct by saying "my name is pronced ×." And "please wait until I'm finished speaking"

If you're not comfortable with a direct approach. You best option is to give feedback to their manager

Considering you mentioned, you have already talked to them about Miss pronouncing your name, and the feeling of them going off the cuff and meetings, I would absolutely address it with their manager. I would also talk to HR about it. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the manager, go straight to HR.

Please say something to a person who repeatedly makes the mistake. Please give grace the first couple times, but then it’s time to correct more insistently.

Also, consider adding a widget to your signature that provides an audio pronunciation of your name. And, add a phonic explanation in parentheses if you can). These cues can be very effective.

Write down every occurrence of those microagressions (date, context, who was present, etc.). List every time you asked your colleagues to do the right thing. Ask HR or your manager for advice on how to deal with those colleagues (screenshot/record everything, don’t show them your list yet).
If one day, there’s one big agression against you worth complaining to HR/suing, you’ll be in good position to use your race card. You can only use it once, so make it worth and be prepare to sue the company and leave it if you must.
I speak from experience, unfortunately. All those microagressions and racist treatment at work pushed me to sick leave, depression and to make psychological harassment complaint against one of my ex-employers.

Up to you to decide when it is enough to say something about a microaggression really. There is no right or wrong answer. If you are feeling uncomfortable or unwelcome at work, it's definitely worth speaking up.

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