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Hi Fishes,
This is on behalf of a friend .Can someone please put on some light on the below query ?
Company : Morgan Stanley
Designation : Associate - Global
Role : Compliance Technology Strategy
Division : Legal and Compliance
How is this position for a BE+ MBA , total 3+ years of IT experience in top MNC.What would be the expected CTC and next hierarchy designation ( after a promotion ) ? Morgan Stanley
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Anybody awake and want to chat? 35M here!
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Don't talk to them. Divert by making "girl talk" with the women. If your just talking to these guys to entertain yourself momentarily but burning bridges in the meantime, you aren't gaining a lot anyway.
You do you. Their relationship and personal insecurities are not your concern or problem to solve. Coming from a hetero lady who watched her girlfriend get torn apart and called a homewrecker by our circle of "friends" because she dated a married guy whose divorce wasn't final yet, meanwhile ZERO criticism was sent at the guy who actually had fucking vows on the line!
I'd love to tell you how to be OP, but interesting and approachable is a deadly combo. If you are also funny, forget about it. ... just enjoy the company. Maybe talk about yourself less... ask questions instead.
OP I am on the same boat. I'm a guy and I get a lot more conversation with female friends than males at some dinners and parties. Many guys (no offence) tend to be less intellectual and cannot carry a conversation. So what happens is all these guys think I'm trying to steal their girlfriends. I've slowly minimized hanging out with couples for this reason, but my un-coupled friends have dwindled down to basically just a few people. It sucks.
D2 - You're probably right in that if the foundation of their relationship is so shaky that they get hurt by a little conversation, then I shouldn't let that affect me.
DD1 - I don't know about the look, but I do have a voice that carries well - I dabbled in voice overs.
Fair enough. Sorry misunderstood you DD1. I've been told a few times I have a voice for a radio so I'm blessed in a way. That said, as the situation quite apparently shows: does it help me not be single? Absolutely not. 😅
But it also sucks because often the guys are more interesting to talk to and the girls just don't want to talk to you much. It's annoying. I'd just be a wall flower in the end
D2 that's right. The men hardly ever get put in check and the irony with vows on the line too!
I have the same problem. It is hard to be queen bee.
I do talk to the women, stand closer to them. But the men end up making most eye contact with me and borderline flirting with me.
@D1 - it's not blame. You can't control anyone's behavior but your own. Op can only control how other women see her through modifying her own behavior.
Here is an out of the box solution. The the S/ O whose males talk to you to find a secluded place at the event and do things that they have forgotten or neglected to do with their S/O. It is a make or break solution. Lol
SC1 - There is no way I can admit to being that person without sounding like Im full of myself. So I'll only say - That's good advice. So far, in my effort to not look like I was interested in their SO, I was mostly just responding to their questions. But I'm a polite conversationalist and out of habit, do follow up my answers with questions which only leads to more conversation . I guess I should start directing my questions to other people instead of the SO, like DD1 said.
OP my guess is that you probably have an "approachable" look + have a voice that carries well. I have RBF and have a voice that's not loud enough to get anyone's attention if they're not already looking at me. This situation happens to me all the time at bars when I'm with my SO who is approachable looking and has a teacher voice that just commands attention. I've found that when he makes eye contact with me, which is unnatural to him because it seems rude to not look at the person talking, then the other party will also start to make eye contact with me and then my soft little quips/ butt ins into the conversation are actually heard. It's a sad but true fact of life for those of us who are not blessed with the privilege of having a voice that carries well in a loud room 😕
PS D3 I can carry a conversation with no problem at a networking event or dinner party situation where there's less of a din in the background. No chance at bars unless the above happens
D3 - that's exactly it. I didn't want to be the one saying it but when it happens, the SO and I are the only people having a remotely meaningful/funny conversation. It does suck.
Sorry dd1, just explaining situation similar to OP. I never said you cannot talk to people... I didn't even reference you?!
I know d3, I'm just saying let's not discount the effect of a voice that carries well and overattribute to interestingness of conversation
Lol d3 hey you're probably having (or have the freedom to have!!) more fun than the rest of us lame couples tonight
I lie to myself sometimes that it's the case...sometimes I even believe it!
If you want to be considerate you have to deal with the boyfriends that keep talking to you even though they should be paying attention to their girlfriends, and the girlfriends that are super insecure that you have good conversations with them.if you want to avoid drama I recommend just speaking to the girls and not engaging the guys much