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I am working as data engineer at Accenture with 2 YOE with ctc of 11LPA. After clearing all the technical rounds at Impetus technologies, tomorrow I have my HR discussion. She told she can't give more than 16 LPA. What should i do? How much should i ask? I am expecting somewhere around 19-20 LPA. Can anyone pls help. Accenture Impetus technologies inc
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My heart breaks for you, OP. Not really much to offer as my aunt didn’t survive for long after diagnosis, but I’m assuming you’ve thought through and done enough research on treatment options.
If you’ve done so, I would focus on maximizing her happiness and experiences from now through the end - love the bucket list idea. Also, spend time showing her the positive impact she’s had on others, arrange for her to discuss death (there are live forums for this), and so on. Please see if FMLA covers you here (I’m not sure if this case would apply).
Obviously these are suggestions and everyone’s life is different. It’s a blessing in disguise to have advance warning and prepare.
Again, my deepest sympathies and the best to you and your mom and family
Sending you love. My husband is a doctor and he talks ALL the time about the importance of weighing (1) longer time to live, but in misery while trying everything and holding on to the minuscule chance that you’ll get a miracle, or (2) enjoying the time you have left. He says he sees people suffering every day and wishes more people would accept what science and medicine are telling them, and go enjoy the time they have left.
I don’t know if you’re up for reading this right now, but I loved Atul Gawande’s book, Being Mortal. It made me approach death and dying (and living!) with a different perspective.
I would also do your best to seek out others who can understand this road you’re about to walk. Those are the people who will support you, because they GET it. I’m sure there are virtual support groups if you can’t find local ones.
And finally, make sure you take care of yourself too. I was a caregiver for awhile and, no matter how much you love the person, it is HARD. Give yourself grace, and make sure to do the things that give you life and energy, so you can keep investing in your mom without guilt, resentment, etc.
Wish we could do more, but ❤️
Let her have the best 6 months of her life. Spend lots of time with her and mark some things off her bucket list. Be strong for her. Prayers to her and you family
Sorry OP. Truly. Everyone in family who's had cancer has fought like hell and come out the other side.
That said, pancreatic is bad bad news. One year survival rate is 20%, across all ages and stages. Certainly less than that at 75. Median survival if surgery is an option is <1 year. If stage 3 or otherwise not operable, <6 months.
Give all that (and verification of same with her docs who understand her situation), I can certainly understand the desire to live it and go on my own terms.
Think the important thing is to support her in her decision. Andd live it up with her.
OP talk to your firm’s leaders about taking a leave of absence from work. I promise you they will get it as they’ve likely lost loved ones as well. Help her achieve her bucket list and be there for her. You will regret not doing it. Family is everything and losing your mother can be particularly hard. Respect her wishes.
Thanks, she's 75.
A1, we get it, fasting before chemo. Are you an onc or at least an MD? Or are you just spouting off facts from one article you read that one time? Is it specific to pancreatic cancer? Pancreatic cancer is incredibly aggressive and current standards of care don’t do much. OPs mother is looking to avoid suffering so can we suggest that you come back with some research (specific to this cancer) before you start giving advice on treatment options?
Take FMLA time. Be with your mom.
Also, people will give you a LOT of advice. People don’t like to hear that someone with cancer isn’t going to “fight” it. Everyone has strong opinions and weird medical advice.
Let your mom lead her treatment and do your best to support and encourage her in that. Don’t listen to people who think they know what’s best for your family. Seek out the people who listen to you without expectation and preconceived ideas/advice
Ok I wouldn’t give up - some studies are showing that fasting (no food) for 24-48 hours before chemo makes chemo target cancer cells more effectively. At the same time this starves cancer cells since no sugar for them to feed on.
I agree with those that say the most important thing is for you to make time to be with your Mom and also to have a real and honest conversation with your Mom about what is most important for her to experience with the time she has left and also to discuss how she wants to die, so you can help her achieve that and avoid things she doesn’t want. If you choose treatment, go to a center approved by the National Pancreas Foundation (NPF) that is also NCI designated. There are trials she may qualify for if that’s what she wants, but sounds like what she wants is some dignity and control so hope you can help her with that. My sympathies OP.
OP - make sure it’s an informed decision, understand treatment options and prognosis. My grandmother was 79 and made the same choice (no chemo) as hers was advanced and oncologist said it may buy her 3 months at best. She didn’t want to deal with chemo side effects, didn’t want to be in a hospital or nursing home. She wanted to remain at home and our family hired some in-Home hospice care when it was needed, and we all took turns caring for her as her cancer progressed.
OP my heart goes out to you; it’s a difficult and emotionally wrenching decision. Be there to love and support her throughout the decision making process.
I understand if she’s like 70 - but any younger than that - come on!!! I have strong opinions bc I lost my grandpa way too young at 63 from liver cancer. He had a lot of good left to do - but they didn’t catch it in time and we didn’t know as much about chemo in Russia.
Hi OP, my dad made this choice. He had cancer in his throat and would’ve lost his voice and the ability to eat. Not worth it for him. His “six months” lasted almost two years, and they were great ones. We have great memories of our final days with him, and we were there with him when it was time to go.
Cherish all the time you have together. Lost a parent to cancer within few months. It’s a trying time but do what you can do enjoy each other while you can. All my support out to you OP.
Thanks very much for your thoughts and for sharing your experiences. This has all been very helpful
Take FMLA, support her wishes regarding treatment, and spend as much time with her and family as you can. Best wishes
Also, ignore 100% of the bullshit 'treatment' advice that is coming from random consultants, not oncologists. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Pancreatic cancer is very aggressive. Even with treatment the survival dates after a year drop significantly.
Sorry to hear OP - I hope you and your family discuss all treatment options together! The older the patient the more stubborn they get. Fasting before chemo also reduces feeling of nausea and weakness. One documentary on this topic is the Science of Fasting on amazon prime!
God I’m so sorry. Praying for you all