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Popping open a beer after walking home from a night in jail. Still took me another 18 months to get sober.
Waking up in the hospital with an IV after a cab driver couldn't wake me up. Took 7 years after that.
when I had my son and realized it didn't matter how much I love him I would still drink and fuck it all up.
Waking up, not knowing how I got there, shaking bad and puking blood
I knew I was an alcoholic when I was 16. I didn’t know I had a problem until I was 24. that first time I said I was an alcoholic after realizing I had a problem was... ineffable.
When I made it back to the rooms and someone I knew who also went out the same weekend didn't.
I just knew always I had no control. I wanted more. It made me feel high... relevant, secure... too good and then it would all fall down. So many messes, bad situations, running down streets naked, getting robbed, punching friends... waking up in hospital from a blackout, losing relationships... and I kept on doing it. Making rules, no hard drinks, no shots, wine only, ok maybe vodka seltzer, never tequila.... so much work. If I knew back then life and Friday’s can be so easy just giving up the bullshit - I would have been a CEO today. Wearing ridiculous power suits.