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I think I might get a divorce
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I moved into my own place this past year and won’t go back. I can do whatever I want, never have to fight over tv, kitchen, bathroom. Can poo with the door wide open. That being said, it’s considerably more expensive.
Rising Star
This, I’m about to move to a new city and thought about getting a roommate reading this thread. Your post reminded me of the time one of my roommates stole my money in the dumbest way possible.
Rising Star
there are pros and cons to both. you pointed them out in general, but to dig a bit deeper...
with roommates, you get more socialization, never feel lonely, have people to do things with, can share a larger space, have people to split the cost of things with, etc. but also, you have less freedom because you have an obligation to be a good roommate. you can’t walk around naked, leave your shit wherever you want, cook anything any time you want, watch or listen to anything any time, make noise at all hours, have as much stuff, have people over whenever you want, etc.
you might find that you don’t care about some of those things or that they don’t apply to your situation. that’s fine.
living alone does come with other benefits that aren’t easy to immediately value. when you’re alone, you’re bored more easily. and you learn about the type of person you are. what you spend time doing, how deliberate you are about keeping in touch with others and making plans, whether you have your own friends, whether they’re good friends, etc. it’s somewhat stressful, even though having your own place to come home to and nobody to please can be liberating.
girls will probably like it more, but on the other hand, you won’t have friends always at the ready to go out and meet any with you. the first time i ever went out by myself with no plans, looking to get laid or otherwise meet people, was when i lived alone. and when going out alone, you rarely want to travel far. so you go to the bar across the street, etc. if i had roommates who were staying in, i probably would have stayed in. but i didn’t want to be alone at the apartment on a particular night.
some of the experiences you have while living alone are disappointing, and may be improved if you had roommates with you. but it gives you a glimpse at what real life is like - often disappointing or mundane. to that extent, it can be motivational, or it can teach you to really appreciate the times when you are together with your friends, instead of taking it for granted. or it can be depressing. it’s all of those things. but if you’ve never lived alone before, you’ll definitely grow from the experience.
Rising Star
i wouldn’t rock the boat if you’re in a situation you like. but if the band breaks up, maybe you should consider it. only reason i say that is because once you live alone, it’ll be hard to go back to having roommates.
Conversation Starter
If you like roommates stick with them.
Enthusiast
Living by myself for the first time after having roommates was awesome. Live with SO now and at times I wish I could live by myself again. Living on your own can be lonely at times and it can take more effort to get plans together to socialize, but overall I prefer it over having roommates.
I’ve lived alone multiple times in my life, and while it’s nice to have my own place, I found that I had way too much time alone with my thoughts.
Enthusiast
I live alone and I would never go back. I’m still very social and live pretty close to a lot of my friends.
Enthusiast
That was me too! Even though I’m very social and I love seeing people, I loved the freedom of living alone. No one messed anything up or moved anything or ate something that was mine, I could walk around wearing whatever I wanted, no one made any noise that would wake me up.... if I got lonely, that is what connecting with friends is for!
Enthusiast
So I really like living alone and would find it hard to go back.
That said, you do develop some weird habits that your roommates might do a good job calling you or on. Like is it weird that I snack on marshmallows?
Enthusiast
Why is that weird?
Chief
I have a buddy who is also 30 with 2 roommates. For him, it’s not about saving money. He could certainly live alone and pay his own rent. He doesn’t like living alone - thrives from being around people (and I guess his roommates are the same way). They’re living life, no relationships, so it works out for them. Me on the other hand needs my own space and quiet time. I love being around others but not when it comes to living. I’d say, do what you feel comfortable with and if you’re not finding having roommates prevents you from living your life the way you want to live it, then it’s fine
Rising Star
I always loved having roommates and always did until I got a job in a new city when I was 26 and didn’t know anyone so I was forced to live alone. It was reallyyyy lonely at first, because I didn’t have friends or an SO, and I always felt like a loser if I didn’t go out on the weekends because I wouldn’t have human interaction. Versus watching movies with a roommate felt like still being social before. So it was a hard adjustment at first. But I think that it made me grow a lot and learn to be even more independent than I was before. I’ve had to learn how to handle a lot of challenges all on my own and learned to focus on my future plans and ambitions. Other upsides are: you have the kitchen to yourself, you can have sex in any room whenever you want, no fighting over the tv, you can stay up late watching tv on the couch without being rude, when you are tired and don’t want to clean you don’t have to feel guilty. I don’t think I can go back to having roommates after living alone now. And I need human contact a lot more than most people. Downside has been corona loneliness though lol.
Rising Star
I moved from LA to a smaller city (like 1 mill) and so I think that my social life suffered much more from leaving LA than it did from living alone. But it did push me to try to make new friends! My apartment building was all guys except for me at first and they were all rude or creepy, but few months in another lady moved in and I saw her at the mail box and we have been close friends ever since! I don’t know if I would have put myself out there like that if I had had the safety net of roommates. I’ve also made friends by just doing stuff by myself around town. It’s harder for sure, but some times you settle into complacent friendships with roommates who you may not really have chosen as friends otherwise. This forces you to find your people.
Enthusiast
Following. I’m scared to move out alone because I’ll be lonely. I also don’t have a huge group of friends in my city and no prospect of a bf.
Maybe if you have a large friend group or SO you might be okay!
Enthusiast
Aka single af!! Hard to date in my city and made impossible by corona. If I was dating someone already I’d be less hesitant to get my own place because I wouldn’t be as lonely.
Pro
Hello millionaire in the making. Save $$ as much as possible now. That's all I can say now :)
I hope :)
Living alone does provide an oasis from everything else in life, big plus is that things are left as they were. Looking for places within neighborhoods with friends helps with any feelings of isolation too.
I was in NYC in my early 20s. Amazing location near Flat Iron. My two roommates where early/mid 30s and both easily making upwards of $150k a year. They enjoyed the company and location. Both found their significant others while living at our place and now live with partners in Queens and BK. If you like the situation, who cares.
I love having roommates - more social, have friends around, people to watch your stuff, have your back if you get locked out, etc.
Personally, between having friends and a gf/wife, I’ll never live alone, and wouldn’t really care to.
That’s what I was thinking too! But sadly I don’t have an SO and never say never, but I don’t really think I’ll get one for a couple of years. Certainly not move in with one.
Enthusiast
If you really love your current set up then why shake it up, bro?
A little bit of the “fuck I’m 30 and I’ll be living with roommates”. A little bit because my roommates also are thinking about moving out to get their own places but haven’t decided yet. A little bit of “I want a space that I can decorate and manage the way I want to etc.” but it’s entirely possible for me to continue for another year or two.
Chief
Oh man. I can’t imagine being 30 and still having roommates. I’ve been on my own since I graduated college. Couldn’t imagine anything else.
Pro
33, currently living with a flatmate. This particular arrangement works out for us because we largely do our own things but living together lets us still get the serendipitous hangout that happens less and less the older you get. Many of my friends have expressed the idea that it would be great to live together in a small community in a way that has more overlap than merely living “nearby”, e.g. with private areas but some shared spaces across multiple families.
Also, it goes without saying that this is pretty contingent on having a flatmate that meshes well with your work-life style.
Rising Star
If you want to save money, stay with roommates as long as you can. Once you move in by yourself, you will not be able to go back.
I’ve lived by myself since I was 23, so it’s been 5 years. Saving money is the only reason why I wish I had lived with roommates longer, but otherwise I’m so glad I live on my own. But I’m also a very solitary person and don’t need more than texting to get a social fix (aka I love the quarantine).
The money saved is great; otherwise, not having roommates is the way to go.
If you have solid roommates then what’s the rush ? I never lived alone til I moved in with SO. I get bored and it’s nice having someone around to bullshit with. Having your own room and bathroom generally helps. The money saved is nice and if you’re single it’s definitely worth it.