Birthday’s make me feel introspective and miss my dad... it’s been almost 4 years since he passed, but I can’t shake the feeling that all special days will always be marred by missing him... (cont)

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(Christmas, milestones, etc).... does it get better? And is it weird that I almost hope it doesnt - because doesnt that mean the love has faded?

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My mother passed away around 7 years ago and I still have dreams that cause me to have to figure out that she's gone after I wake up. That said, it's more of a bittersweet experience rather than painful. Your love will never fade, it's just going to crystallize into something a bit less intense than what you're dealing with right now.

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You’ll always miss him, sometimes more sometimes less. But as they say “time heals all wounds.” The pain will wane over time. I’m sorry for your loss OP.

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Gets better (did for me), you’ll start making small homages to him, like telling his go-to joke on certain occasions, or remembering people about that-one-time x happened. It evolved from “hurt” to “nostalgia”

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My dad died unexpectedly ~12 years ago, special days are tough for the first few years but it definitely gets better. It getting better doesn’t mean that you don’t miss him or that your relationship with him wasn’t incredibly meaningful and full of love, just that you’re able to appreciate the good that comes with holidays and events too. Sorry for your loss OP.

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Man, reading these posts...little dusty in here.

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Mine passed last year (so cant speak to four) but he certainly is always present - especially on those big days

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My dad passed 8 year ago. In the beginning I feel like I cried often. Later on, it became random. It’s tough. I still get sad thinking everything he’s missed (grandkids, graduations, life, etc.) and I’ll cry here and there but it’s different—more weepy, less bellowing.

It gets better because life just keeps moving, you know? But, it doesn’t go away- not completely at least.

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Been 3 years for me now - went through graduation, moving to Chicago, starting my job, etc. without him. It sucks because for me the happy moments just feel a little empty. I’m sorry you’re going through the same

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I’m coming up on seven years without my dad, and it does get easier. I got my life together after he died, and I always wish he could have seen it. Birthdays and holidays are different, but I focus on how proud he would be, and how he’d be glad to see me thriving based on what he taught me and left as his legacy.

You will never cease to miss him or want him there on the big days, but you should also be proud of yourself for the person you’ve become in his absence. Think about the things in your life that are good and new, and honor those as part of your journey after his passing.

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like that you keep them alive. He’s not truly gone as long as you remember him.

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You must have had a very special relationship with your dad. Lucky you—and him. ❤️

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Special occasions and milestones are tough. Remember though, that he got to see many of yours while he was here. Those moments and memories are things you can never be robbed of and he carried with him too.

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I lost my dad last year and his 1 year death anniversary is coming up. I am really nervous about how that day is going to go.b

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It was exactly 10 years since my grandmother’s death a few days ago. She basically raised me as a child as both of my parents worked busy jobs. I miss her every day, and big milestones can make it worse. I do think that the loss isn’t as acute anymore, but I’m get married next year and it still devastates me that she won’t be there.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know the words don’t mean much, but know you aren’t alone in your grief.

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My mom passed a year ago and my dad two months ago. Cancer for both. I miss them both so deeply and my daughter talks about them constantly. Most days I don’t know how to feel.

Lost my dad about a year and a half ago. Very unexpected, although looking back the writing was on the wall.

For me, not a day goes by that I don’t think about him, but I can’t shake the guilt that I haven’t been thinking about him enough...that I don’t remember exactly what he looks like as often...that when I dream, I dream of me, my mom and sister, and he’s not around as much.

It’s all so new, still. We still tell stories and remember him. My relationship with him was strange. He was an amazing father who provided everything we needed and most of what we wanted... but we still argued, still said things we shouldn’t have, and our relationship was far from conventional. Still, you won’t hear me say a bad thing about him. Worst I’ll do is call out his stubbornness, which is usually in joking.

Anyway - as my therapist and other people keep saying, it’s different for everyone. I handled it much better than my mom and sister because I had to. Some would say it was unhealthy how well I handled it. Who knows. Maybe one day it’ll creep up on me and I’ll break... but Until then I’m head down and pushing through to stay strong for my mom and sister and provide for them if necessary. It’s what dad would have wanted

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