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Please bada do yaar😂
Visual Storyteller
Happy diwali 😂
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Now. That's quite prevalent
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I haven't seen this thought process recently. I belong to a middle class family and every man and woman are working in my household. And I have seen my parents and my in-laws, regardless of gender, they contribute to the family equally. We are also following the legacy.
Surely, this topic is a point of discussion but think like this, there is a couple, both of them are earning. In-laws don't like their Bahu and tolerating her because of their son. Now, the son thinks her mom and dad loves her, which is not a true thing. Now, the Son has nominated her mother as nominee with 100% share in all his capitals and insurances. The couple has a kid as well which the wife takes care with her money and sometimes his money, of there is a shortage. For some reason, the Husband is no more or get separated and In laws asked the Bahu to go away and no support is going to be provided to her, which they made clear. In this scenario, if the lady has not saved any of her money or worst, she is not working, she will become a burden to her family as well. Hence, her money should be her money, to protect her dignity and self respect in the worst case scenarios.
Though, for privileged Feminists, I have no idea what they are talking about.
This is my view point.
Nice view point. Hadn't thought of it this way. So this makes it clear that a husband and wife should have only each other as their nominees. Not their kids, not their parents. It's the husband and wife that stay together for life. All others leave at some point.
Well nothing like that. I am a girl and I myself suggested to my husband that we contribute equally to a common fund for all expenses. However, he suggested that at whichever point in life whosoever’s salary stands higher that person would take care of monthly household expenses (rent,electricity,grocery,househelp,xyz)and other person would save up for annual trips and weekend outings including movies,outside meals etc). And whatever would be the balance for both we save up for common goals and also for individual expenses. I kinda agreed with his idea and as of now we are just following it , Ofcourse with few adjustments sometimes for gifting expenses or sudden medicinal expenses we then do review it periodically . Also we are planning for a baby soon and we are both open to reallocation of the budgeted expenses in future.
Good understanding…! 👏
It’s not like that I am a women and I do contribute in everything, I pay home loan emi which is 60% of my salary and rest of the money is also used for household expenses
But that should be fine, why they had to cancel ? Everyone may have their own liabilities.
Visual Storyteller
It's vice versa before responsibilities phase and after responsibilities phase.
Before working stage:
Females (not talking about belonging to rich family) they are not given a freedom to spend the money as they want (some do get but some don't). There is a sense of dependency while making decisions related to anything be it spending money unlike most of the guys(few guys are exceptions) who don't have much dependency while making these decisions or it's easy to make it.
Initially it used to be consider it's the man role to provide food and shelter to family and wife role is to take care of family. Managing expenses, running the house, taking care of everyone's health etc.
Guys are risk taker, can take risk, can do heavy works because that's how their body is built. Females are good at multitasking and can manage things pretty well. So because of this, notion was like that.
Now women started earning so some of them consider it as an extra income(or side income) so they take it as an extra money and since they earned it they are free to use in the way they wish to. This thinking which was not there in the before working stage gets developed.
But not all women are like this.
There are some women(empathetic ones) who understands that pressure can be real for their husband as they must have feel it while working so they are also supporting them by contributing, not considering the money they have earn as an extra income but income to contribute in running the house(paying rent, bills, kid's fees etc).
So problem with those women is developing those kinda notion and thinking.
True that … They have the luxury to take their salary for themselves . when we ask anything about it they will say are you even a man asking for your women’s salary like this ? Meanwhile they always have the right to ask our salary for themselves and the family which is right … Men will always be loved with a condition that he will provide for the family whereas women and dogs will always be loved unconditionally …. Sad truth 😄
This is how feminist see women empowerment.
90% of the cases, men only have to take care of the expenses and women just enjoy their salary.
Lucky me. Me and my wife both believe what we earn is for "us". And that's the critical mindset which helps us decide together on the savings and purchases we make. And ofcourse our marriage stays strong without issues.
And additionally in whatever investments we make, it should either be a joint ownership or the other person should be the nominee. So both will know that there won't be any issue financially at any point. No question of getting cheated etc.
So sad that you had come across women who set such standards for you. Character and integrity has nothing to do with gender. And spending/investing/paying bills through your income reflects your character.
Due to the same reason why women has the responsibility of the whole house and the family along with family's mental & physical health, their daily maintenance etc.. and men's responsibility is only regarding the financial aspect.
Not true, I'm not married but as a grown woman I too have responsibilities. My parents donot have enough money for the education of my brother who will be going to college soon so I don't contribute in running the household but they do know that I'm saving up for his education. Thinking everyone belong to the same boat or accusing women of spending on their will is not right, some might be saving for greater causes or some might just be living their life to fullest, this differs from person to person and I think has nothing to do with gender.
I was raised by a woman who worked in a bank and she contributed well to overall expenses. My mother's job ensured that our family got multiple benefits which come with the PSU bank job such as low interest loans, LTCs etc.
And while doing her 10-8/9 pm job, we never ordered food during weekdays and had piping hot food everyday.
Thankful and Lucky
Wow so glad to see humble MBB people around. Hope you too are surrounded by an understanding working woman. 😊
Kyuki main apni favourite hu🤡
Definitely, no choices left. So appreciate urself , think about yourself and mein apni favorite hu
Gone r those days when husband's takes care of wife needs n requirements. Now a days husband's says u r earning na , y cannot u buy what u want. I can only do this much , Anything more may be beautiful curtains of ur choice u buy n feel happy. Am ok with old curtains.
So stop pointing about women. Situations forces them to become selfish. They r paraya dhan for parents n paraya ghar se for in laws.
But is it right to be selfish once you are married ? You’ll never be happy & just self-centered, money is root of many problems.
This post is from 2004
I read somewhere one that if both partners in a marriage are earning then the husband's income can be used for household expenses and survival and the woman's income should be fully saved to make a big investment later like putting the money in property or opening up a business etc. this leads to a secire future for you and your family. Vice versa can also be done but 100% of the income of partner earning less should be saved.
Feels like feminists get offended badly seeing this post 🙂
Visual Storyteller
Good question.
Visual Storyteller
OP was talking about not being cooperative and putting financial burden on one party.
It should be planned together nah.
I have several cases where females are like my money is my money. Spending lavishly and taunting husband not able to take financial responsibilities.
And have scene where the females are supporting their husband and trying to reduce the burden.
Ye sab kehne ki baatein hain
Jaisi jiski soch.
I have also seen cases where boys demanded that girl need to give her salary to boy family.
Or they will take hisaab for her own salary
Paying expenses equally is fine but nobody should control other’s salary.
Its upto the mentality that anyone can have , but what I can say is community has made those rules . Not the people so its upto the people what needs to agree and what not.