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Chief
Can we take leaves while serving NP?
Hi fishes, can you please tell me why do ppl say join EY GDS and not EY India. I am into Java Fullstack, yoe-4, location -Pune recently cleared online test and given interview and later get to know it's EY India not GDS. Now m worried should I join or not. I have 2 other offers from WITCH companies. EY EY India
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Just put this point before marriage.. if guy is mature he will agree.
Tell him to consider your salary half .
It's great to see girls like you . Proud 👏
Chief
Me and my wife split our household expenses equally. She never asks me anything for her personal needs and I never do. I know she sends some of her money to her parents. But why should I bother about what she does with her money?
Right. I think not all have same understanding as yours. Good to know ☺️
Yeah… you discuss with the guy. Stay true. If you have support from him. Nobody will ever know in your in laws that you’re sharing experiences with your parents.
This should be easy.
I hope the same too
Agree with talking upfront. However, i have a friends' tale to share. Not want to scare people, but life is like that.
It is a story of a school friend, not in regular touch now though. Not in IT, not so well to do, but has their own ancestral house. Agreed and married a girl who said the same, she will work after marriage and contribute to her home, she has a younger brother. Things were fine 3-4 years, had a kid too. With mounting expenses he tried to convince her to spend more on home as it was getting difficult for him to manage with old father and older grandmother with new responsibilities of wife and kid. She point blank refused and said this was my prerequisite for marriage. Bottom line - regular ugly fights. Friends told me he was abusive and hinted at some minor domestic violence too. Me and other friends who were closer to him tried to explain to him to try a find an amicable solution but he was adamant that it is fully her fault, that taking care of "own" house is more important than parents home, and it is not his problem that younger brother is not able to find proper job or is useless.
We continued to drift because of different lines of work. Last I heard a couple of years ago, he has divorced and custody battle is on.
Sister, your money your choice. Society always conforms girls to adjust with the guy and their family. But times are changing.... Be very firm about your decision to support your family post marriage. The guy should be able to earn enough to support his family too and shouldn't depend on the girl's salary.
Rising Star
I can understand the situation you are in, but we'll need to get some things straight first.
1. Are your parents unemployed or retired with 0 income?
2. Depending on the number of siblings you might need to take care of their studies, marriage expenses and on top of your marriage expenses as well. So how many siblings do you have ?
3. Many people do accept it, but they will also be willing to do the same such as taking care of their parents and expenses and in a scenario like the guy you are getting married to is the eldest and he has 3 siblings and he has to take care of all their expenses and you just have a single sibling, so the expenses will vary and you will have to postpone a lot on your savings in such a scenario since he might end up spending a lot more on his family or vice versa is also possible.
4. What if the guy's parents are employed and he still wants to spend on their rent and contribute to home expenses since you do the same ?
Make sure you talk about all these things before going ahead with marrying someone. Some accept it and some do not, so you'll have to make a choice depending on your preference.
Rising Star
It's the usual process. Start looking for a suitable groom and if everyone is okay with both parties, then make sure you have a word with him and ask him about his preferences and make sure you tell yours. Then maybe he'll accept or he might reject you. And this process continues till someone's okay with your requests and then finally marriage 😅.
I also contribute to the household expenses of my parents after marriage and made this point very clear before my marriage itself. And I have also seen the same thing with a friend and my cousin. So, if the person is right it shouldn't be a problem. It's your money and you should get to decide how you spend it.