I’m keep getting flashbacks from my previous relationship. I want to report him for domestic abuse/date rape charges but I don’t know if it’s a wise idea esp after a whole yr

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OP, I recommend getting help through the EAP Deloitte offers its employees. Confidential way of finding the best sources of help. My heart goes out to you.

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Employee Assistance Program. Every major firm offers this benefit through an outside company who manages the intake. Ask HR for the contact number or go to the employee benefits portal and search for the benefit.

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Go ahead and file, see what happens, and get yourself some trauma therapy asap

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I’d encourage you to find a trauma therapist you click with. Commit to trying at least two sessions with someone before switching, and don’t be afraid to give feedback if you’re not feeling the fit right. If you try therapy, I wouldn’t plan to tell the story in the first session(s). Establish relationships with therapist first. Talk about their style, talk about your incoming perceptions of therapy (good or bad), talk about talking about the relationship, set goals for therapy, ask for reading or homework to help you work on it outside sessions.

Read “The Body Keeps Score” if you’re ready to understand the latest research and trends on trauma therapy. Read “Know My Name” if you want to understand how hard pressing charges might be (warning: could be a trigger for your flashbacks, so might wait on this)

FWIW it took me years to realize how date rape had impacted my subsequent thoughts and behaviors. One of the best things I did in 2019 was tell my story to my therapist. We worked through it carefully over several sessions and i learned to identify triggers and manage my responses better.

You’re not alone. I’m rooting for you. Happy to share more details if you would like.

helpful

I just don’t know if it’s worth it to even think about it since this is such a mentally/physically demanding process. But I am realizing that I should’ve reported him to the school while this happened and not let him enjoy his life without any guilt while I’m suffering from those memories daily

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