I have a very poor relationship with my parents, we don’t speak. My wife and I want to change our name to have no connection with them. Has anyone done so? What’s the process/ how much of a pain is it?

likefunny
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I corrected my first name through the court because the immigration office mistyped it on my green card. It was 15? years ago and did not cost much back then. I remember less than $300 in total. I went to the Court to submit my application with money orders. They published an ad in a newspaper for some time. And on the hearing day, if no one comes forward to object, the judge grants your request.
I am sorry to hear about the fall out with your parents. I have been in a similar situation. Some people say judgemental things like, "but they are your parents!" but as I became a parent, I understood them even less. How could they have done what they did to their own child? Cutting ties with them was one of the best decisions I made and I am at a much happier place emotionally and mentally now. I wish the best for you.

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I’m sorry to hear that and hope you find peace in your life ☮️ ✌️

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When my cousin married her fiancée, instead of taking his last name, they both made his middle name their last names. He did not have a good relationship with his father so they wanted to start fresh.

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I was going to do this as well, but my patience for the administration of changing everything shifted my mindset to not associate my name with my father. My name is also just common enough that I came across another person with the same last name at work once. We began to call each other family jokingly, going out to coffee, and became good friends outside of work. That also helped with the shift. Good luck whatever you do, it’s a tough decision either way.

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I’m not sure where you are located, but it might be easier administratively to take your wife’s last name. Fewer hoops to jump through. Just need to show a marriage license instead of filing for a legal change of name. YMMV.

Of course there’s always the headache of actually going by another name which previous posters have outlined. But many women manage with a new last name after they get married, I’m sure you will get by too.

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The hassles will be changing on all your accounts and personal contacts. Consolidate as much as possible and find a positive reason to make the announcement. Remember your heritage is more than your parents is all I want to say.

Also, any professional accreditations and insurance policies (professional, health/life/disability/car/personal) will need to be updated as well, along with all the government social and tax agencies, and your driver's license, credit cards, passport, Social Security Administration, credit bureaus, mortgages, loans, banks, state marriage bureau, etc. If you have any academic or professional publications, it may be a little difficult for others to find them if you reference them in places such as LinkedIn or elsewhere.

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