I need some advice. I met a guy on a dating app. We talked for a few months before meeting up in person about a couple weeks ago (we live in different states that’s why it took so long to meet up). Anyways we hungout everyday that he was in my city. We casually talked about him visiting again soon. We talked everyday since until a few days ago. He just stopped responding… he’s been online though… what do you guys think?

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Agree with what everyone has said, he ghosted you and knowing why he lost interest is not going to make a difference now. But I wonder if knowing why can provide context for future reference? So you guys talked for months, and he came visit and saw you everyday during the visit, then continued to talk daily afterwards for a couple of weeks. It sounds like the interest, the time and effort commitments were all there. I would question how come you haven’t made plan to go visit him. To ‘lock down’ a long distance relationship, both people have to show commitments, from his perspective, two weeks after his visit, and you still haven’t shown the same level of effort, then the relationship is probably not going to work. Regardless, he should’ve told you and not just ghosted.

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I am not sure how to continue this discussion, I’ve never said I was trying to be objective at all, I’ve even reread my msg to make sure. I even clarified that this is just my perspective, and this is how I would’ve felt if I were in his shoes. I even said that I could be completely wrong because I don’t have all the facts. I think OP is putting in efforts, just not as much as the efforts he has shown, everything is relative, and it’s not all or nothing. I honestly don’t see how someone can say the efforts are equal when he has visited and she hasn’t. A potential trip isn’t the same as a trip that has already happened. I didn’t not mean to point out flaws, but I have to read the words to understand and interpret how concrete this potential trip is. The best analogy I can think of is when a bf saying he will eventually propose and marry the gf in the future isn’t the same level of effort and commitment as an engagement ring on hands. I think y’all might be reading my msg assuming they have a harsh and accusation tone, while I am typing the msg in a ‘hmm 🤔 I wonder if this is what he is thinking’ tone. Anyway I don’t know how else to explain, don’t want to cause any more ill feeling, so I will just leave it here.

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I am sorry that happened. He is clearly not that into you anymore. His flippant attention span is focusing on someone else.

In this age and generation of unlimited options, most people don’t want to commit. They like the feeling of new romance and then move on.

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Here’s the thing, don’t be hard on yourself. He was a jerk. If he wanted to make it work, he would have let you know how.

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Honestly it doesn’t matter…if he’s not responding I think it means he ghosted you hun! It happens, just happened to me too. Still trying to get over it, don’t replay what you did on those days…just move forward knowing he wasn’t the one. Easier said than done of course.
Good luck.

Cheers!

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SA1 it’s tough out there! I just wish people would be more upfront. Like if something changed just tell so I don’t have to think about it forever

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Honestly let’s be mature here
You can think that he is ghosting you or there could genuinely be a problem in his life. It’s a 50-50 situation

If you are into him and when you spoke to him felt like he was a nice guy then check up on him and ask him if everything is okay. If he has a valid reason take a step back and just talk to him ( if you are still interested)

But if he doesn’t reply you back then you tried!
Remember half knowledge is dangerous :)

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Thanks. I did see future potential so I might try this

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Yeah unfortunately will have to agree. You can always just ask if everything is okay. Maybe something happened. Regardless, if you were important, he’d prioritize you and making the time to talk to you. Better to just let it go than for him to make some excuse as to why he isn’t talking to you

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Good point. I hate dating

Maybe he doesn’t feel equipped for a long distance relationship? That would be my first guess. Could really be anything though. But it’s not worth it to stress about what you can’t change. In my experience, men are like Newton’s final law of gravity — they always come back, especially if you act like you don’t give a crap about them. There’s a meme I’ve been seeing lately about how guys will eff something up with a girl and then stalk her for the rest of her life, which is a funny but all too true statement.

Do your hobbies, find a new fun thing to try, hang out with friends, volunteer, etc. Anything that will make you love yourself more and detract your attention from this guy. Energy is palpable. Pull your energy out of this situation and choose to not care if he returns or not.

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Thanks! I’ve found this to be true in the past too. I just wanted this guy to be different. Man I really have a type 😂

Give up

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Starting to

at the end of the day, people are going to do what they want to do. you deserve better! hang in there

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I would definitely try to find out what’s going on. I met my bf online first, we talked (also different states) for a long time. Then he dropped off - I reached out, no response. Then his ex texted me that he was in a coma 😳Thankfully he is all good now and we are together. So freaky things happen - you never know.

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Omg that’s crazy! I’m sorry that happened. But no this guy from what it is seems is definitely fine. He’s out here like stuff on IG😂

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I just don’t know if I did something or he’s just all of a sudden not interested

Yes, dating sucks these days. People just have too many options and will always leave you for the next best. I mean, can’t blame them, you just want what’s best for yourself.

But it goes both ways. I’ve had girls just suddenly stop showing interest as well. Hang in there! It’ll come when you least expect it! :)

I hate how I fall so easily. Feel like I’m too old to feel like a mess 😂

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Pay your respects to the dead 👻

Hi OP, watch this video on dating apps.

https://youtu.be/T-iWTaoX0KQ

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