My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago to the day. It was my most intense breakup of my life and the deepest love I’ve ever felt. He ended things with me, I can’t stop thinking that I let the best love I ever will have go despite some flaws.
The only way I’ve personally moved on in the past is by finding love in someone else, but I can’t imagine ever dating again.
How long does it take to feel good again? Date again? I feel like I lost all my goals/motivation and haven’t gone a day without crying.

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You are literally partner hopping. Give yourself a chance to properly heal by yourself or you’ll be in this never ending cycle.

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first of all what you’re feeling is normal and okay. 2 weeks is such a short period of time and it sounds like you’re trying to get back to normal but you have to give yourself more time and grace. do not try to find someone else - focus on yourself and getting into your routine. my last relationship was a couple years on and off and it’s been 8 months and tho i’m happy with where i’m at i still am not ready to date and miss the ex time to time. there’s no timeline for healing

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Invest in yourself- spend time with people who make you happy, do things big or small that make you happy, go for long walks, journal, make plans. You don’t need to date now! You’ll know when you’re ready. For now just feel your feelings and let the tears come. It’s not a linear process

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Some days I feel like I’ll never be able to find love because I come from a complicated childhood, have a lot of problems and, I want someone who would understand me. But I don’t think I could ever open up to another person because it feels like I’m trauma-dumping despite this being a core part of my identity and I want them to know how I lived and survived til today. I feel like a nuisance

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Para 3

still there’s not a single good word spoken for me from her side. we do not have any understanding between us, i come from a conservative middle class family, even though i earn well and life is not difficult for me, i live way below my belt.
She and her family has threatened me and my family, that if things don’t fix between us then i will have to bear the consequences, they are rich and wealthy, they will implicate fake legal case against me and my family.

I’ve been a family caregiver for four years, and now look to return to the workforce. I realize that this will be a bit difficult, especially during these economic conditions, plus other factors, such as being an older employee, etc. I updated my account with a few job sites, adding on the fact that I took time off to care for a family member. I would appreciate some advice, anything that would be helpful.

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Anyone start a new relationship before business school started? How did it work out?

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Are there Christian men out there that don’t want kids?

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Question: I am pro choice but only up to the end of the 2nd trimester. I think after that, it's getting to gray territory that I can't support. My friends say this a really anti feminist view. What am I doing wrong?

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SO said he couldn’t receive letters during Ranger School, but finding info online that I can send. Any insight? Maybe he doesn’t want the distraction?

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I think living a frugal life and aiming to retire early makes a lot of sense.

Recently, some of my family members are diagnosed with a rare diseases. When you look at the statistics, these are so many of these ‘rare’ conditions and cumulatively they are not rare.

These family members conditions made me reevaluate how I want to spend my life. I am 35 this year and I can’t decide if I should take great vacations with my kids or keep living a frugal life. Do you have the same dilemma?

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Would you marry someone if they had a lot of loans on their head?

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I give massive kudos to all the parents out there juggling work and home life. But it’s starting to feel like I pulled the short stick by not having a kid. Really struggling to pick up all of the slack from all of the colleagues that do have kids and feel like the expectation is that parents should turn off while the rest are working from 7am - 2am everyday to make up for it.

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This is the only bowl I can think to post in, but I'm really feeling it today. Has anyone lost their best friend (i.e. through time/growing up) and feel like none of their current friends could live up to the fun/connection you used to have with your high school BFF? I feel like I put too much focus on that one friend and also my boyfriend and just never actually made time for anyone else. I fucked myself over.

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I want to give a Christmas gift to the manager of the gym I go to. She’s awesome and I just really appreciate her. I can’t think of any ideas though! Can anybody think any good ones? I do not know much about her personal life except that she’s a single mother.

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I’m keep getting flashbacks from my previous relationship. I want to report him for domestic abuse/date rape charges but I don’t know if it’s a wise idea esp after a whole yr

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Hiya!

I'm looking at applying to MBB (Preferably BCG) for a summer internship this summer. I'm a first-gen Oxbridge student, and while I have little experience in consulting along the lines of MBB, I did work in the city last summer as an sustainability consultant.

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

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It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

likehelpful

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

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I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

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The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

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TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

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I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

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It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

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Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

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I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

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Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

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3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

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I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

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