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Additional Posts in Mental Health in Accounting
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OP , you are a strong person. You are doing amazing things. Taking care of someone ill steals you away. Try to find the time /energy to see someone for yourself. We all need help.
You are human and you didn't mean to hurt, it is only so much one can take. You don't deserve to suffer. You are helping, which is great.
I may be pushing it here, but try to focus on the positive (your parent has you to help) and to recognize how important that is.
Try to see someone and work on yourself. The world is full of attacks on us every day. No one expects you to just deal with it. **hugs**
OP, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I think it’s commendable that you’re trying to help your parent, especially as dementia is not an easy thing to deal with. Try not to be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate, and I think a lot of people would find it difficult to keep a level head at all times while managing they kind of responsibility. Have you considered talking to a counselor? Or perhaps seeing about getting a prescription for something to help with the anxiety? It wouldn’t fix your problems (parent illness, grueling work schedule, etc), but it could help with how you react to those stressors. *hugs* Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best and truly hope that things get better for you.
Also, can you get some help at home? Hire someone? Have someone else just deal with your parent once in a while?
Hey there, you are definitely a very strong, loving, and caring person. Not many would do what you are doing and i’m pretty sure your parents are extremely thankful for everything you do. I don’t know what you are going through, but it sounds like a huge challenge. I agree with most of the comments above, you should consider talking to someone and maybe asking for help. As an senior, I would be more than happy to
help out my staffs in whatever way possible if they ever told me something similar. Not sure if you’re a believer, but know that God won’t give you more than you can handle. I don’t want to be that person, but I always turn to him during my problems.
Thank you, PwC1! Do you mean I should talk to my work counselor? Not sure how they can help in this situation. I usually feel calm until I face stressful situation and then I feel very anxious. Not sure if I should get meds for that since that's just a human nature for the fight or flight response. Trying to stay away from meds.
I know you feel bad but you are human and not a robot so if you do need rest or time away it's okay. Don't beat yourself about it. And think of it this way.. if you relax and have time for yourself you will be happier and thus have more patience with them. My moms brother took care of my grandma 24/7 and my mom went there every week. Now my aunt is sick and my mom goes to help every other week for about 4 days. She feels bad and thinks she must help but I try to remind her she is human. She feels bad because her sister is sick but worrying about it all the time won't fix it. Also if you are a working professional it's so hard to take care of parents so hopefully you can get more help.
Virtual hug 🤗. Hire help or if you can’t afford it look for hospice or other social services to assist. If you break, your parent won’t even have you part of the time. You have to take care of yourself. Easier said than done I will admit. Struggling with it myself. Lost it on Thanksgiving and had to send myself to my room
I also have high level of stress at work right now. I don't know how to deal with the two.
Thank you, TSA1! You are right - need to find time for myself, but then I feel bad that my parent is left behind. I usually have my parent for the weekend. The stage of the disease is already very progressed, so need 24/7 during the time I'm out.
Hi OP. I meant a therapist. Having someone to talk to about what’s going on might help. I used to be very anti-meds (even for stuff like headaches, I preferred to just suck it up and deal with it). But a couple years ago, I was diagnosed with severe depression. As bad as things were at that time, I had to start medication. It’s made a world of difference for me and has allowed me to more effectively deal with things. You have to do what’s right for you, but I’m only saying that I’ve found that meds can help. Have you considered meditating?
PwC1, I think you are right. Medications might help. I get depressing thoughts... to the darkest points...I pray instead of mediating. It helps to sooth me. But I can't pray lately because I feel depressed. I go to the gym once a week and it helps.
SA1, thank you! I don't think anyone can understand what that disease is until faced directly. It takes lots of emotional toll. I have to constantly disconnect my brain from what my parent is saying, because it doesn't make any sense and it drives me to the deepest point of depression. Basically I'm around my parent physically, but mentally I shield myself. It is constant struggle to be positive when your parent sends you many ways when you are trying to help to satisfy basic needs.
Because it passed to your parent if you feel a little negative. They sense it... I can be almost blowing with anger from the things my parent does, but I have to appear very calm and smiling on the outside, because that keep things neutral. I don't know how much I can built up this anger. It just came off this Monday morning in a very bad form of me shaken with anger and saying things that I would never say otherwise. I had to restrict physical motions as I had to complete shower routine even when my parent forced to open shower curtain with such a force that made the whole curtain holder break... the water was all over me and my parent just standing in the corner of the shower cursing me...
And this is for all things I've done the night before. Which of course my parent wouldn't remember..
Thank you, EY1! I know what you mean. My conscious has been to alert lately and it wouldn’t let me rest. Really need time off from everything. Hugs your way too!
Thank you, EY1! I know what you mean... it makes me feel so bad for a very long time once I lose it. I have been good for the whole year without losing it at once. Maybe some frustrations and snapping, but not to the point where I have been shaken with anger.
Somehow I thought my post don’t go through, so I wrote a new one. That’s why you see two of the same kind.
Thank you, CR1! You are totally right! I need to take care of myself. I would be no good once I break.