My wife (married 6 years) talks to her sister on FaceTime for an average of 2 hours a day. Some days less, some days it is on and off literally the entire day. I can’t remember the last day they didn’t talk on the phone.

It is starting to drive me crazy. I have never said anything to her about how annoying I find this. We both work from home. I can hear her carrying on conversation all day long. Am I being totally unreasonable? How can I communicate this without sounding like a jerk.

I’ll keep it simple, try and find a way to not be bothered by it. What other people do with their time and energy should not affect you at all. You’re allowing it to for some reason and you need to find a way to move past it. Their bond seems strong and that’s a good thing.

I just came from a 5hr call with my sister and read this.. Also waiting for my other sister to wake up in her time zone to speak with her for a couple more hours. I multitask while on the calls and use a headphone. Fortunately my partner works upstairs and hardly hears me. Initially he would be upset that I would be engaged in a call when he came downstairs to have coffee with me, but now we have scheduled coffee times where I take a break and focus on him. I made it clear to him that I would never compromise my relationship with my sisters. Especially after previously being in an abusive relationship that started with me being isolated from my friends and family. I guess we are on the same page now and he is sucking it up.

A couple of thoughts. Great that they’re close, but sounds like as her spouse, you are hurt that your wife is possibly closer to her sister than to you. Marriage should put your couple relationship at the forefront. As a boss, I’d be annoyed that my company’s money is being spent on personal calls. Even if a good multitasker, she’s on company time. Work from home gets a bad rap when people abuse the privilege.

My wife talks with her family conferencing London and India almost an hour a day sometimes missing what is needed .. got used to it …

I don’t think there is a way to say it without sounding like one because it is quite jerkish to tell her that she shouldn’t talk to her sister as often as she wants. You may ask her to keep it down during work hours (if it’s interfering with your work) or invest in some headphones (assuming you don’t have to be on the phone all day). Outside of that, you are the jerk here.

I totally would find that annoying too, but it sucks that you waited so long to discuss because now it’s tough to bring up. You’ll have to be careful how you present the issue because it can easily come across as resentful in a way that you don’t mean (I.e upset about the relationship with the sister or her being on the phone rather than the distraction)

Very audacious to tell her to cut communication with her sister short! Are you jealous of their relationship?

Don’t work from home anymore… I’d be lucky if my brother calls me once every 5 years, and only communicate during holidays. I have a sister too, same, I call them,… my sister does group text the family on how things are here and there. Close nit sisters is all they are. As long as she’s not talking or complaining to her sister about you!

“Babe, I love you so much and it’s amazing that you and your sister have such a strong bond and talk daily, but if I’m honest, its quite distracting for me while I am trying to work. I’ve just been trying to use headphones to cancel out the noise over the last two years, but figured I would talk to you so we can come up with some alternative options.”

Just communicate in a nice and loving way ☺️

Get noise canceling headphones or ask her to speak in another room but do not, and I mean it, do not try to restrict her time talking to her family.

People have different levels of closeness to their families. My family and I talk just as frequently as your wife. We are, after all, family and those are the people I grew up with and love ❤️.

So I see this as two fold and potentially worth a convo with your wife.
1. Do you feel she is not present and giving you quality time? That is maybe an easier convo to have - “I know how much you love your sister but it feels like I can’t hang out with you without her being there, can we be mindful to set some time for just us?”
2. If it’s just about disruption from work, get noise canceling headphones. My boyfriend and I both work from home. While it’s not reasonable to expect each other not to talk or be quiet, we both have invested in noise canceling headphones so we don’t need to worry about each other. I personally am pretty loud so during the work day I try to be mindful about where in the apartment I’m talking like I don’t walk around the apartment next to his office yelling on the phone if I can help it.

This makes me wish I had a sister.

Have you communicated that it’s impacting your ability to do your job? I work from home full time and my wife genuinely could care less about my thoughts or objections but the minute I have a work call or say I need to urgently do something for work suddenly she cares and gives me space / silence. Like if I said “please stop chatting on the phone it’s giving me a headache” she’d probably tell me to go eff myself. If I said “I have a call with a VP and this is critical” The phone call would end. Funny how that works 🙂

How does she get any work done?

You gotta go to the office or coworking space. This would drive me absolutely insane. FaceTiming a relative for 10-20 hours a week during work hours is completely unreasonable. But you should act first and get out of there for work so you don’t start to resent her.

Solves all problems

From one man to another you have two hours to yourself in which you can do anything and a wife who has a good relationship with her family members.

Buy some noise canceling Beats my boi.

Seems like a few underlying issues. Slightly annoyed she isn’t being more productive while also being distracted you hear conversation for hours, not being able to talk to your wife while competing for time with her sister. One, you should feel comfortable to do what you want at home, so she should always feel safe to do that at home - she doesn’t get that luxury elsewhere so at home she be the place where she can be herself, call who she wants, laugh and catch up with friends and family if she so desires to be loud or quiet. 2, she should respect to some degree that you are working: so you can put up times when you’re in meetings or need to be in the zone, and communicate in a nice way to talk a bit quieter for a bit or simply say I’ll be in a meeting for the next 30 minutes. 3, part of you probably wants to come into the kitchen and say hi to your wife without feeling you have to talk over her sister, in these cases you should plan to have meals together, or say let’s hangout for a bit at this time, if you were both working, not from home, you would need to do this. Work from home doesn’t necessarily mean you see more of each other to hang out, so that effort to go on a walk or take a break has to be communicated. If part of you does feel like she is not being productive, you shouldn’t confront her but support her and see what she wants to do with life, does she want to take on a project, ask her if there is some goal, or something she wants to learn, some hobby she wants to do, and see how you can help. It shouldn’t be pushed, it should be inspired with questions and building the enthusiasm for it. Hope this helps, I know it’s not from a bad place you’re coming from but it’s not a quick one fix either. If she talked quiet during all her calls would you still be annoyed you can’t talk to her in the kitchen for example. So there might be more than just talking loud or quiet and you should put in steps to make sure she knows you want to spend time with her while supporting whatever she chooses to do.

Imagine if she wasn't emotionally close to family and you lived with that kind of person. Use headphones, quit complaining, be grateful she's not cheating on you yet. In general, people won't dislike the things you criticize, mock or hate, they'll dislike you for the criticism.

I can see how that might be annoying. It could be a matter of looking at the marriage overall. As her spouse, you also should be a priority in her life. Is one on one time between you two lacking?
I’d gently express the concern or feeling of distance/neglect. And reassess together how time on both ends is spent investing into the marriage. At the end of the day, she married you, not her sister

My brother in Christ. Go into work if it bothers you that much. If you can’t then work out of a coffee shop. If that doesn’t work. Take her out on a date like 1 or 2 times a week we’re you guys just give each other undivided attention

This would drive me crazy. It seems she has a beautiful relationship with her sister, but sometimes you want some peace and quiet. Perhaps you can talk a walk when she’s talking with her sister? I still think though you need to say to your wife that it is bothering you.

I haven’t caught up on all the other replies, but here’s my take: I’m a textbook introvert, and am pretty careful of my personal space. I’m happy to host things, but I’m also happy when folks aren’t there afterwards. Choosing a roommate or partner is a big deal - a person who also lives in my space and is *always there* is pretty significant.
Maybe taking this tack with your wife could be helpful. You like living with her (I assume!), but hadn’t planned on her sister being in the house every day, too. Her having another person there for that percentage of the week is significant. For me, I’d want to visit about how it affects my space and home, and look for workability for everyone.
*I also have several sisters and we talk throughout the day… fortunately we all prefer texting and stay busy lol