What would you do if someone you were friendly with at work made a racist joke about you?

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I would also be cautious with this person because they may not have your best interests at heart.

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Was it to your face or behind your back?

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I always call this out immediately. I’ve had friends do it in law school, not blantant racism, mostly comments they thought were funny were undertones of racism. I always made sure to call them out in a the most non attacking way I could. Make sure it’s one on one, and I just explain to them hey what you said wasn’t cool bc X,Y,Z. I’m not mad but I do want you to understand why I felt some type of way.

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You could always try the “I’m sorry, I don’t understand the joke…care to explain?” with a straight face.

Or, if you’re feeling a little spicy, a puzzled look, followed by “oh! I get it! It’s funny because <stereotype>!”

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This is a tough one. If you’re friendly enough I’d pull them aside and just tell them it wasn’t cool. If they’re a superior in anyway I wouldn’t pull them aside and I might go above to keep it documented.

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You can probably talk to that person in private. Sometimes people aren't aware of it. If it persist, then you should take some action.

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Depends on our relationship, what was said, and the context (audience, mood, etc). With good friends/friendly colleagues, we can have racy/outlandish banter. Some acceptable humor from the 80s-90s wouldn’t fly for most today, but I’m fine with it. If it was said in a condescending/one-sided or hateful way that’s a different story. Would either address it privately or call it out on the spot if it was egregious. I wouldn’t use snark or a “gotcha” type response. It merits serious discussion.

Being friends with you doesn't give them the free pass to disrespect you like that. Make a record of the incident, including details such as the date, time, location, and any witnesses present and take it to HR.

I'd have some strong words to them immediately.

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