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Had them at 31 and 35. Ideal would maybe have been 28 and 31. I enjoyed my independence and freedom in my 20s but damn toddlers are exhausting so could’ve used a bit more youth on my side (also to reduce any time pressure on a third).
Nothing necessary to prepare, it’s all learn as you go.
Agree to EY1. Had my first at almost 31. Want another too. Ideal would be been 28 & 31
We had our first last year. I was 35 and wife 34. The only thing prepares you to a certain extent is having actually cared for kids before in some capacity. But it is not necessary. There are 3 big things you need to ensure: 1. It will be stressful so stability of your relationship 2. It will be expensive so stability of your finances 3. If 1 and 2 are solid, younger the better because you will need a lot of energy.
And yes, it is back breaking but we love our kid to death.
Have kids before 40. 😂
Seriously. Not sure what the ideal age is, but being younger and having more energy would be nice.
Benefits of having kids older=financial security, wisdom.
Benefits of having kids while younger=energy!
In terms of preparation, think about childcare. And have a solid backup plan, and a plan C. Reliable childcare is far more challenging than I imagined.
I took the first 12 weeks off work, and after that we had a nanny for 9 months, so we could keep baby home for the first year. Then we started daycare—our daycare is wonderful but my little guy was sick more than he was there for the first few months. It’s super hard.
My backup plan depends a bit on the time of year—if it’s a school break we’ve got lots of college students near us that are awesome and love to earn extra money.
Second backup depends on how may meetings myself & my husband have. If we’re busy grandparents are close and great help.
If that’s not an option, usually my husband and I will split the day, he’ll work in the morning and I’ll work in the afternoons/evening.
It’s a little stressful, but it works well for us.
I’ve had 4… started at 27, last at 35. Younger was easier on my body, but harder on my career. With the last, I was more tired during and after, but knew nothing would rattle my career at that point!
Chief
First when I was 39, fourth when I was 50. Definitely would have done it sooner if I could have, but considering I did not meet my future wife until I was 35 there was not a whole lot I could do about it.
Definitely exhausting, and I know I won't retire any time soon, but I would not give it up for the world.
Chief
She was 32 for the first one. The last couple were surprises to say the least.
M here, had first and only child at 31. Wife was 32. Now 40. I think the sweet spot is early 30s. You're on track on your career, financially on your way to being secure, you're with your spouse for a while (obviously, this will vary), and you're still young enough to run around, more importantly ENJOY running around, with your child in all their growing phases.
31/33. There is no perfect time, there is no wrong time. Just be blessed to be able to have children (it works!) and have them be healthy. Now, only goal is for them to be kind humans
Are you a woman? That will significantly impact the way people will respond to this.
Yes, I am a woman. I would love to hear the opinions of men as well.
Had my kids at 22 and 27; I think it was perfect that way;
There is no special preparation needed you will figure it out!
Pro
We had ours at 34/36. They are 17/19 now. It worked out fine but feel like we held off and were waiting unnecessarily. If we had started a couple years earlier, some things might have been easier and we would be younger when the kids get to college age. As is, we had more flexibility in schedules by being more senior in our jobs and more financially stable.
Pro
34M now have a 5yo and 3 yo
So 29 for first 31 for second. Worked perfect IMO. Got married @24, established career, got a dog, a bit of independent living, bought a house, then filled it with littles.
We had two kids at age 30 and 32 (my wife and I are the same age) and we have no regrets on the timing. We got married at age 27, but we made sure to finish up our graduate school before kids.
Rising Star
Only advice, watch a new parent for 1-2 years if you can. Can be your siblings, cousins or friends becoming parents and get a glimpse of their life. It will help u a lot. I had a son at 33, first kid in the family and most of my friends do not have kids either. So I had no idea about parenting and it was overwhelming in the beginning.