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Acceptance is the answer.

I messed ups no need help. Idk where to turn.
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I used an app called sunnyside for tracking and limiting my drinking before I quit. I think I bought a year and I’ve cancelled it now but it was helpful and kept me in check.
I also do smart recovery instead of AA. It’s more cognitive behavioral and has a handbook you can get on amazon. Meetings are online and in person depending upon location.
Lastly, talk to your doctor. Maybe a referral to a program or provider to figure out what’s behind it all.
I was going to say this - SMART Recovery is about figuring out how not to use your addiction as a crutch.
There is nothing to lose by going to a few AA mtgs. Look for lead mtgs where ppl tell their personal stories. If you can identify with what many of the speakers are sharing that could be a good indicator it's for you. You don't have to introduce yourself or speak, you just have to listen. Download the AA meeting app, look for mtgs in your area listed as Open and Lead mtgs.
The one thing I remember with my alcolism was having a drink without even thinking about it . And to add I would use that line . I had a rough day. The only advice I would say is look into a meeting and try it out . And even thou it's hard ask for some help and go from there . But I can say with confident you are on the right path keep going
For a really long time (and completely unbeknownst to me) alcohol was the “solution” I chose. I did not realize I just couldn’t accept things (people and circumstances) that surrounded me. I am grateful that one day I had a breaking point and it clicked that that is what was going on with me.
Coming up on 2 years sober (I had never been 2 weeks) and it has been the best 2 of my life. I credit my wife for finally helping me see (and not leaving before that) and AA for guiding me to another way and solution. It’s so unfortunate that AA has such the negative connotation. FYI I was never a daily drinker hardly ever during the week.
OP, you use the word “crutch”. Pay a great deal of attention to that and examine. If “crutch” perhaps means “solution”, decide if you want another way. Bc there is. Greatest of luck wherever your journey takes you.
Rising Star
If someone suggests AA to you, they are probably observing something problematic. But only you can decide if it's for you. AA is for anyone who has a desire to stop drinking. If you don't want to stop then maybe try some of the apps to help cut back.
Yeah it is for me. I’m a manic depressive and have been struggling with anxiety and depression. A drink at the end of the day helps take the edge off but I’ve grown reliant on it.
Try a dry month all together. Do it to prove to yourself you are bigger than drinking everyday. Plus once you do it for a whole month you’ll notice how much you really don’t need it. After a whole dry month make yourself accountable and only drink on weekends and/or with others when celebrating a special event. It’s SO difficult I know but you can do it! ❤️
Thank you for the encouragement. I’m getting there and think I might try again.
If it’s not a problem yet it’s how a problem starts.
If you suspect that you may have an issue with it then I'd go ahead and address it before it gets any worse. Then it will be much harder to get control of and your body will punish you for trying to stop. There are a few apps that help with this kind of thing. Maybe try one since you aren't too deep in it at the moment ....?
Your mom expressing concern about AA suggests she sees something you might not be fully acknowledging yet. It's not about her dictating your path, but recognizing that her love and worry are valid. It's great that you've been cutting back, but it might be worth exploring what's driving that need for alcohol even on "good" days.
Bowl Leader
A girlfriend once told me I needed AA. Begrudgingly, I eventually went to one meeting. I remember nothing from that meeting, other than KNOWING that AA wasn’t going to be for me. Fast forward another four years, where the drinking and consequences just kept getting worse and worse. Through some miracle, I find myself in AA during some cosmic window of grace, and it’s made all the difference. Next month will be 6 years without a drink, when in the past it was damn near impossible to go 6 days without a drink.
Not everyone will get to a point where AA is the right solution, but when it hurts enough and it feels like there’s nowhere else to turn, it can be just the thing that’s needed.
I often get that thought “have a beer wouldn’t be a big deal”. Then a peace flushes over me when I mentally remind myself that that beer would contribute absolutely zero to my life. ZERO!