How do you deal with people you don’t like or trust at work? I find it extremely difficult to work around someone (especially if they are more senior) that I don’t like or trust. I feel like I can’t be myself of share my thoughts due to fears of getting in an argument with them, and am constantly concerned they are looking at my mistakes and reporting them to my boss or trying to get my fired. It paralyzes me and even affects how I communicate with others, as I become hyper aware of who is and isn’t allies with the person I don’t like or feel is after me. Anyone can relate?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Have you talked to your boss? It's their job to have your back or intervene or talk to the other person's job. Try to become extremely professional only about your interaction with this person. Do double-check your work to ensure its accuracy to the best of your knowledge. As account, I don't tolerate consistently having typos in emails or poor wording as communication skills are critical to the function and poor communication can lead to misunderstanding and even the wrong work produced. So use what you can from the work related things this person dings you on to actually improve for your own sake. About yelling at you, that is absolutely unprofessional and should not be tolerated at any level from anyone. Next time it happens, if in front of others in a meeting, say: "I don't think we need to let frustration overtake the tone of this meeting, but I will otherwise consider your point and thank you for your feedback". And immediately and always take it back to the business issue at hand. Speak calmly and firmly. After the meeting, catch up with the person and ask if you could speak with them for a few, then pull them aside. Do not talk by their desk in open space with others around. Look them in the eyes and say something along those lines, but make it your own as it comes to you, don't try to memorize in advance or match me, just take away the gist of my advice, it's important that it's genuine when it comes from you: "Hey X, I noticed that you raised your voice in our meeting at me and I wanted to let you know that it's happened before and it makes me really uncomfortable. I appreciate your seniority and I'm happy to learn from your experience, so how can we ensure that the respect is mutual?" End with a question that puts the ball back in their court and stop there! Do not speak further to fill the void even if they're stumped and stay silent for what may seem like an eternity to you. It's the effect you want and so, hold the silence and keep looking at them calmly. After they say whatever they say, which will probably be a mixture of apology, embarrassment, and actually something constructive, say whatever comes to you that makes sense based on what they just said. Go with the rest of the conversation organically. But I guarantee you(!) they'll have a much bigger respect from you from that point on just for having the balls to go up to them and actually confront them with directness and kindness at the same time. Bullies are usually disarmed by such behavior because they have never considered someone might actually call them out on their behavior. And keep your boss informed about everything you're doing including having this conflict with this person! Have 1:1 weekly 30min check-ins with your boss to ensure they're up to speed on what you're dealing with, you don't want your boss to ever be blindsided by an issue.

like

Absolutely relate. I ignore them. I’m not there to make friends so I just do the best work I can. It’s important to form relationships though so try to make them outside your team. Then, plan your escape from that toxic mess.

like

OP, sounds like you're really caught up in a story you've built up in your head and spun potentially out of control. How do you objectively know this person doesn't like you and is out there to get you? What have they said and/or done directly making that clear and you not just inferring that or projecting your hurt feelings onto them. At least 50% of our problems are of our own doing/in our heads. Please give more context or seek counseling, if it gets worse. I can offer more feedback based on additional info you can provide but perhaps you're just too hard on your self / wasting your energy chasing what's not there.

like

^best advice ever

like

Just do your best and fuck ‘em haters

@AD1 - implying I’m not doing my job to other team members, cc’ing my boss on emails when they call me out on something, constantly correcting me on small things (typos, email language), over stepping my tasks, yelling...I could go on.

other person's *boss respect *for you

Related Posts

Is EY going to announce layoffs next week?

like

Been furloughed for a month. Sucks, but silver-lining is that I'm building a game with my girlfriend. If you're furloughed / laid off, what're you doing w your newfound free time?

like

I was laid off from a resource management role, working with employees approaching or on the bench, working with managers to staff projects, and support functions like report creation, scheduling, etc. Roles like this are few and many large consulting firms have frozen internal hiring. Do you think it would be beneficial to get a SHRM cert? Would that help get a "talent related" HR role? Worth the money? I have a background in recruitment as well.

like

Whats the average severance package when folks get laid off?

like

Damn. A gunman fired at Republican members of Congress. I don't care what your political stance is, things should never get violent.

like

More experienced PwCers: I'm an associate who got a top rating and a large raise during CRTs. How scared do I need to be about getting laid off?

If you get fired, are you allowed to tell others that you were laid off? Asking for a friend.

like

Lots of my ad friends have been laid off recently and are having trouble finding jobs in NYC. Wanted to share to give us all perspective in a place with so much job-hate talk.

like

Do you think more agency layoffs are on the way, or are we now in the recovery phase?

likehelpful

Curious, what is a typical severance package—ie, how many weeks of pay per year?

like

Attention Woke White People: Don’t be this woke white person. Laid off in April. Asked my ACD for final comps of my work for my portfolio. She told me it hadn’t gone public but to check back. I hit her up in May. Nothing. I hit her up in June. Nothing. I hit her up in August. Ignored...ignored...ignored in three separate texts. Finally emailed and mentioned reaching out to the C-level executives and like magic, boom! I get the work in 20 minutes flat. Don’t post BLM stuff if you’re a d*ck.

like

I was placed on PIP due to unavailable projects... and right before my pip period was about the end, I got placed on a project. is it weird I was hoping to get fired and get my severance package?

funnylikehelpful

I’ve been laid off and, as I embark on my job search, I’d like to keep my marketing skills sharp. Any recommendations on must read books, or resources?

like

Does anyone have a comprehensive timeline of how layoffs happened in 08? Lots of firms seem to promise no layoffs just like they did in 08.

like

The best places to work are also the ones that fired most people in the pandemic

likefunnyhelpful

How do our firms view consultants and managers getting pregnant or just having young children in general? Is it a death sentence for future staffing opportunities? Conversely, would it mitigate the risk of layoff due to covid considering the optics / laws around woman’s pregnancy rights in the workplace? Honestly just curious.

like

Pros of Working in a Boys Club: The F Bathroom is now yours. Leave skin care. A hairbrush. Toothbrush. A cot. Buy a door lock. Move in. Sell your condo. Get fired then live rent-free in the vents.

likefunnyupliftingsmart

Is it just me or does it seem like in the US market mid-sized firms have taken the biggest hit from the virus. Big 4 and maybe top 10 seem to be able to navigate with out paycuts or major layoffs abd

likesmart

Has anyone been fired? How did you recover?

like

Additional Posts

goodby in san francisco?

like

how do you guys handle your struggle with coworkers? I'm a child of alcoholism and abuse, and I've always been a pretty heavy drinker myself. Well, this last year has been a real doozy for me, and...

Baby attorney here. Does anyone have good resources or guides they can recommend for probate and family cases in Texas?

like

How much could I get as an experienced senior at one of the Big 4 in the DC area?

like

What government agency client would you refuse to do work for due to not supporting their mission?

like

I just got an email from the law firm with approval!! First time H1b, RFE response received on 09/06. Literally, the last day of cap-gap!! Hope everyone else on cap-gap hears back soon too! 🤞

likeuplifting

Is EY going to announce layoffs next week?

like

What is it with recruiters bring cryptic and not telling you anything about the role or what company it is ahead of a call? Turns me off every time.

like

Just moved in-house & am hiring a designer - NO clue what salary to propose for this role. Full benefits, mid-level, Chicago-based, mostly designing internal materials (town halls, etc.). Help?

like

Been furloughed for a month. Sucks, but silver-lining is that I'm building a game with my girlfriend. If you're furloughed / laid off, what're you doing w your newfound free time?

like

Dear fellow professionals, hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. I wanted to get your guidance and inputs on one thing - I got an offer in Germany (currently in a Big 4 in USA) . I wanted to check what are your thoughts in this bug move, any helpful tips, inputs, resources if you would like to share. Appreciate your time and inputs. Thanks!!

like

Anyone know of any companies hiring or can please provide a referral? Open to pretty much anything, although hoping to transition out of consulting. Have applied to 850+ positions.

like

Big law single parent associate at new firm with two young kids who just tested positive for Covid from a breakthrough case. It’s going to be a rough few weeks.

like

I was laid off from a resource management role, working with employees approaching or on the bench, working with managers to staff projects, and support functions like report creation, scheduling, etc. Roles like this are few and many large consulting firms have frozen internal hiring. Do you think it would be beneficial to get a SHRM cert? Would that help get a "talent related" HR role? Worth the money? I have a background in recruitment as well.

like

H1B transfer/extension: Filed on 25th October 2018 Receipt Notice on 2nd November 2018 Approved on 14th December 2018 (No RFE) Good start to the year. #positivevibes

likehelpful

Anyone know a mortgage broker that understands freelance? I’m struggling to get anyone to approve a loan since I started an S-Corp last year. Running into two years of business history / current salary. I’ve been freelancing for years.

like

Thinking about going in-house to lead performance media. I know titling is different, but what kind of title and salary should I be looking for with 15 yrs of experience?

like

Turning 30 this year. Single. Planning to quit my job, start my own business, and travel the world. So scared. But it’s not like if I stay I have a greater chance of finding my partner. Right?!

likeupliftingsmart

Senior Promotion 🎉😊 Good Luck FB fam trying for one! (P.S.: when does the official communication come out?)

like

How long of maternity leave a staff 1 can get? Will seniors and managers get annoyed?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.