How do you get rid of wishful thinking? I feel the hope I’m holding onto is subconsciously preventing me from moving on but knowing my ex my thought may not even cross their mind anymore. It’s been 6 months (~6 year relationship, blindsighted ending). 1 month NC (the past 5 months contact was bc I kept reaching out every few weeks). I just want to move forward and not hold onto this false hope. 🥹

I’m currently struggling with my friend group. I’m a transplant to my current city and ended up making friends with my coworkers (who were also transplants). Now I’m regretting this as I don’t feel like the friendship is deep and things seem competitive. I feel like I have no friends and my real friends (from HS and College) are in a different state and have their own lives. Any advice on dealing with having no real friends where you live?

I hate going home for Thanksgiving because I always feel like I haven't succeeded enough yet and my family has seen me fail a lot

I have a para/assistant teacher that just wants to argue over everything. “You’re the teacher, why do I have to assess the children during break out rooms?” We have 8 kids, and I am only asking her to do 3! The other para is doing 3 and I and doing 2 with IEPs!!! How am I supposed to handle this in a professional manner virtually? Plus she is frustrated b/c o can’t explain everything. I keep telling her it’s all new to me too. Grace is not a word in her vocab. And I am feeling graceless.

Real talk ... if someone is over 35 and hasn’t been married before, do you automatically assume there is something wrong with them?

Hey guys, planning to shift to Kolkata on 1-Aug-22.

Please guide me on best place/area to reside with small family.
I am coming from Hyderabad with family and a pet dog and looking forward to a good society with amenities.

Thanks!!

Girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me right before we were supposed to leave the state and move in together. We broke up about 4 months ago. I couldn’t demonize her, so I’m still struggling with processing it and idk what to do. I’ve been looking into therapy, but I can only do online which leaves me hesitant. Any advice would be appreciated.

How have you combated your fear of rejection? I fixate on such small things as when my friends, for example, reject plans I have made. This definitely makes me more averse to putting myself out there and makes me ruminate on past perceived failures, which are clearly not good for personal growth

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

Where’s the best place to live if you’re looking to secure an entry-level position working in PE? Don't have a family, really kind of willing to try anywhere at this point.

Perspective: monogamy is anti-human nature; in this era where each parent could raise a kid independently, marriage tends to be a shackle on many aspects of life. We live once, why does society expect us to live with 1 person for 60+ years? No wonder divorce rates are through the roof!

Is Argyle, TX good place to buy home and raise family?

I'm a US citizen living abroad I applied almost 11 months ago for my spouse. Married for years, kid. I wait and wait. It seems this will take 2 years, maybe more. I feel trapped. On one side the US system demands I work and domicile in US, the other side says families should be prioritized to stay together. My spouse has had enough of the process. I feel trapped abroad and locked in a dysfunctional system. We're just in limbo, it's depressing

Anyone go to concerts? None of my friends like classical music, and those that used to play don't listen anymore.

I miss nerding out and discussing music before a concert 😭

Curious what % of partners/MDs have spouses who also work. And regardless of non/working spouse, what do you do to feel a work/family balance?

I’m happy with my relationship but the thing is I never really have a spark with the girl. Can someone relate or explain? I’m not sure if I should keep doing this. Maybe I’m just in an comfort zone now?

How to stop feeling insecure that boyfriend will meet someone else when he goes out/goes to music festivals? He has never given me a reason to doubt him but I can’t shake this feeling of insecurity every time this happens

Completely off topic
I don't have any friends.. sometimes i feel very lonely.. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts or feeling.. there is this void.. trying to pickup things to distract myself but it's not helping much... Seeking your inputs!! Sorry for this off topic question.

Ladies, did you change your last name after getting married? I’m worried about the impact it will have on my publications.

My boyfriend just found my vibe...

Iam working in Credit Risk regulatory risk reporting..7 yr WOE with 15lpa CTC. Which Investment Banks should i target in Mumbai to get a good pay raise and better growth in work wise. Any suggestions?

Thanks you.

Wanting to know what IVF coverage other consulting companies have. EY, McKinsey, BCG.

What should i go for TCS 9.5Lpa or Rategain 11.5 lpa

How much a foreign language expert can earn with nearly 5 years of experience in Kolkata or in other cities?

Hey fishes, I am hearing Tiger Analytics is rescinding offer letters floated to candidates. One of my acquaintance was supposed to join as analytics consultant but they rescinded the offer 3 weeks before his DOJ. Does anyone have information regarding this?

Fishes, is 110K for Senior 3 consultant an average offer?

Just promoted midyear to PM at Bofa. salary seemed soft at 150k in top 10 market. Anyone else have any input?

Do you guys wear winter jackets over your suit coat? It feels super uncomfortable, even the nice Calven Clien type coats

DOES BNP PARIBAS INDIA offer car lease policy to its employees?? If yes, is it available for the post of Senior Associate

Hello fishes,

I have got offers from EXL and Genpact for Data Engineering Consultant position both with same payscale, I am a bit skeptical of which one to choose. YOE : 5 years
And how much remuneration can I expect from EXL with 5 yoe in Azure Data Engineering(ADF+Synapse+Databricks+PySpark+SQL) domain?

Will request you guys for your feedback.

Thanks in advance

Do you prefer bots that oftentimes just provide a list of possible issues that you may have or an actual person where you can directly say what the issue is as your customer support? Let’s discuss!

What type of job duties does one do in healthcare administration? Interested in healthcare but getting tired of consulting.

What industry companies ( health plan or providers) pay well and has a good wlb?

Any loan facility available in BOA

Hi Fishes,

What is the average salary in Germany for SAP Integration Architect with 11 Years of Experience

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone